Gender Reveal Party - How to say no gifts?

MrsPDX

I know a lot of people are against gender reveals (and I wasn't originally going to have one), but let me explain. I am a FTM and DH is in the military and will be home a week at around 25-27 weeks. He was very adamant on us finding out together. Therefore, originally I was going to have the U/S tech write the sex down on a paper at my anatomy U/S and seal it until he comes home. However, then I thought, why not incorporate that into a party so that DH could see all his family and friends? This is where my idea was born. 

However, I absolutely do NOT want gifts, as I think thats tacky, and its not the purpose if the party. How should I address that? I read saying anything about gifts on the invite is a no, but then what if people assume they should bring them? How can I avoid gifts in the least tacky way possible?

ginger1228

Can you make it just a normal get together and then do something like blue/pink cupcakes? Instead of formal invites, just do word of mouth or a simple text saying you're having friends over while DH is home. People will feel less obligated to bring a gift if it's just a normal gathering.

Amstreagle

Don't have a party to reveal the sex of your child. Problem solved!
ETA: You were right about your first instinct regarding this.

yoitslooo

I say keep it super casual, the more formal it gets the more obligated your guests might feel to bring a gift. Maybe even just create a Facebook event for it or just send out an email to everyone. Later on if anyone offers to bring a gift just politely decline. And if a few people do end up bringing a small gift then oh well but most people know a gender reveal is more of a laid back no gift giving event I believe.

Helenahhandbasket

If your main concern is not getting gifts, absolutley make no mention of the baby on the invites, and like PPs have suggested, have a small gathering in your H's honor, and surprise your guests with a really simple reveal.

jennypolkadots

Don't throw a "gender reveal party" at all. Just casually invite friends and family over for a meal to celebrate your husband being home. Whoever comes will get an extra surprise when you reveal the sex of your baby. You can open the envelope with everyone there, or do one of those cakes with pink or blue filling. I know at Publix you can just give the bakery the envelope and they will decorate a cake. Then pull it out at dessert time without having mentioned to guests that you will be revealing. 

Personally, I would never want to find out the sex of my child in front of a bunch of people. I think it just takes something away from it and just feels so "aw look at me". Maybe the two of you could find out together and then share it at the get together, instead? 

MrsPDX

Okay, thanks all for the input. Good food for thought. Gender Reveals on Pinterest are so adorable.... but I may skip it and just do as you all suggested, and have a BBQ in DH's honor, and then reveal the sex then. Thanks!

VOR

MrsPDX said:

Okay, thanks all for the input. Good food for thought. Gender Reveals on Pinterest are so adorable.... but I may skip it and just do as you all suggested, and have a BBQ in DH's honor, and then reveal the sex then. Thanks!

You can still do something Pintersty for the actual 'reveal'.  There is nothing stopping you from doing that.  just don't make the entire party about "GENDER REVEAL!!!!!!". 

missamERICA

You don't say anything... if people ask say "no".   and you say "thank you" if someone brings a gift.

mermaid1113

My friends just had a gender reveal party but they did it on football Sunday with their family who is there anyway. I think it's a cute idea, just keep it casual as other PP have said.

MichaelaMTP

We had our party about two weeks ago. Some people asked prior if they should bring gifts. DH and I said no to the gifts. We just wanted to celebrate with everyone. After we revealed our baby's sex our family members gave us gifts. We were not expecting gifts and certainly didn't ask for them. However, our family was very excited about our reveal and to buy a gift for our LO. The gifts ranged from a book to an outfit LO can wear. Nothing extravagant or from our registry.

Even if you say no gifts, your family may want to give you something. They're just excited!!

MrsPDX

Thanks everyone! I decided to not reveal the sex anyways. Gotta love indecsive pregnancy brain! 

OneLastRefrain

MandJS said:

MichaelaMTP said:

We had our party about two weeks ago. Some people asked prior if they should bring gifts. DH and I said no to the gifts. We just wanted to celebrate with everyone. After we revealed our baby's sex our family members gave us gifts. We were not expecting gifts and certainly didn't ask for them. However, our family was very excited about our reveal and to buy a gift for our LO. The gifts ranged from a book to an outfit LO can wear. Nothing extravagant or from our registry. Even if you say no gifts, your family may want to give you something. They're just excited!!

Yeah, but see... they can give you gifts WITHOUT the formal party. The ONLY way a SEX reveal is appropriate is if it's done as PPs suggested - you are getting together with everyone, anyway, and SURPRISE PEOPLE! we are revealing if it's a boy or girl baby.

Those people who bought outfits... think they might have bought 2 and had to return 1? Yeah. 

Is there a rule on what's "appropriate"? If the couple wants to have a reveal party, who the heck says that's inappropriate? Because you say so?  I think that's very rude to the poster.  Why does it have to be a surprise?  I don't get the hostility about reveal parties on TB. If you don't want one, don't do it. If you don't want to attend one, don't go.   ::shrug:: 

OneLastRefrain

Bliss+Berry said:

OneLastRefrain said:

MandJS said:

MichaelaMTP said:

We had our party about two weeks ago. Some people asked prior if they should bring gifts. DH and I said no to the gifts. We just wanted to celebrate with everyone. After we revealed our baby's sex our family members gave us gifts. We were not expecting gifts and certainly didn't ask for them. However, our family was very excited about our reveal and to buy a gift for our LO. The gifts ranged from a book to an outfit LO can wear. Nothing extravagant or from our registry.

Even if you say no gifts, your family may want to give you something. They're just excited!!

Yeah, but see... they can give you gifts WITHOUT the formal party. The ONLY way a SEX reveal is appropriate is if it's done as PPs suggested - you are getting together with everyone, anyway, and SURPRISE PEOPLE! we are revealing if it's a boy or girl baby.

Those people who bought outfits... think they might have bought 2 and had to return 1? Yeah. 

Is there a rule on what's "appropriate"? If the couple wants to have a reveal party, who the heck says that's inappropriate? Because you say so?  I think that's very rude to the poster.  Why does it have to be a surprise?  I don't get the hostility about reveal parties on TB. If you don't want one, don't do it. If you don't want to attend one, don't go.   ::shrug:: 

There are some of us that don't understand the need people have to attention whore every aspect of their pregnancies. Seriously, where does it end? Not everything in your life needs to be celebrated with a Pinterest worthy party in your honor so you can AW it all over facebook and Instagram. Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around your pregnant belly.

::::steps off soap box:::::

Bliss+Berry said:

OneLastRefrain said:

MandJS said:

MichaelaMTP said:

We had our party about two weeks ago. Some people asked prior if they should bring gifts. DH and I said no to the gifts. We just wanted to celebrate with everyone. After we revealed our baby's sex our family members gave us gifts. We were not expecting gifts and certainly didn't ask for them. However, our family was very excited about our reveal and to buy a gift for our LO. The gifts ranged from a book to an outfit LO can wear. Nothing extravagant or from our registry.

Even if you say no gifts, your family may want to give you something. They're just excited!!

Yeah, but see... they can give you gifts WITHOUT the formal party. The ONLY way a SEX reveal is appropriate is if it's done as PPs suggested - you are getting together with everyone, anyway, and SURPRISE PEOPLE! we are revealing if it's a boy or girl baby.

Those people who bought outfits... think they might have bought 2 and had to return 1? Yeah. 

Is there a rule on what's "appropriate"? If the couple wants to have a reveal party, who the heck says that's inappropriate? Because you say so?  I think that's very rude to the poster.  Why does it have to be a surprise?  I don't get the hostility about reveal parties on TB. If you don't want one, don't do it. If you don't want to attend one, don't go.   ::shrug:: 

There are some of us that don't understand the need people have to attention whore every aspect of their pregnancies. Seriously, where does it end? Not everything in your life needs to be celebrated with a Pinterest worthy party in your honor so you can AW it all over facebook and Instagram. Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around your pregnant belly.

::::steps off soap box:::::


It doesn't revolve around it, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with having a little fun. I find parties fun. If five minutes of the party involves cutting a pink or blue cake, yay. The rest of the time is mingling with whoever came.

I wasn't going to have one because I'm impatient and want to know right away, but my GIRLFRIENDS actually said, "you ARE having one, right?!?" So when I realized people would actually WANT to come, I said I could wait 24 hours and have a nice little get together. I love photography and documenting events via scrapbook or photobook, and this is just something else special and fun. It doesn't have to be this evil selfish act some people on TB make it out to be. Can people make it over the top and gift grabby? Sure. Am I? I don't think so. And it doesn't seem the OP is either.

:;steps off pink and blue soapbox::

Lyndee720

I really don't understand all the animosity towards gender reveal parties. I understand that some might use it as an excuse to ask for gifts again, but if you are simply having the party to celebrate good news with family and friends, why is it so terrible? 

I am having a gender reveal party. My husband and I are letting people know through word of mouth that we do not want gifts. We only want people to come and celebrate with us. In fact, we plan to give out small prizes at the party to our gifts. If people don't want to come, fine. We will not be offended. But we have tried for 3 1/2 years to get pregnant. We did 3 failed IUIs. Then, after scrounging up the money for an IVF treatment and undergoing weeks of pills, injections and many 6-hour trips to the doctor for monitoring, we were blessed and got pregnant with twins. We are super excited about this and want to share as much of it as possible with our family. This will likely be my only pregnancy, given all of our struggles to get pregnant in the first place. I want the full experience. 

And, honestly, the friends and family we have told about this have been really excited and happy for us as well. They are looking forward to the party. I don't understand why everyone on the internet seems to be so against celebrating another special part of pregnancy. How does it hurt anyone else that I throw this party? All it will cost my guests is a little of their time. What is so wrong with that?

graciesmurf

I don't understand why everyone is so negative about me having a party about my child's genitals.  I mean, I'm always telling my friends and family about my 2 year-old's vagina.  Why wouldn't I do the same for my fetus?

(sarcasm font)

OneLastRefrain

Then I guess you shouldn't tell anyone what the baby is, period. Since its a direct reference to their genitals. I mean, I certainly don't ask friends if they're having a boy or girl, I totally say "does it have a penis or clitoris?!?!?"

OneLastRefrain

Perhaps no one would be devastated, but I did mention in a prior post that my friends actually asked me to throw one. Maybe we are into the whole pinterest hype (so sue me), but if having pizza and cake and also saying "hey it's a girl!" makes me a creep, oh well sign me up. It's certainly nothing to get into a huff about.

Lyndee720

Me thinks the ladies doth protest too much. It makes me grateful for my very supportive family and friends. They are understanding and do not attempt to twist happy celebrations into something negative. I would never presume to tell others to have a party. That would be rude, given that it's really none of my business how they want to celebrate their pregnancy. I was just asking the question here to see if there was any logical reason others were so against the parties. Guess I have my answer. 

OneLastRefrain

Bliss+Berry said:

Lyndee720 said:

Me thinks the ladies doth protest too much. It makes me grateful for my very supportive family and friends. They are understanding and do not attempt to twist happy celebrations into something negative. I would never presume to tell others to have a party. That would be rude, given that it's really none of my business how they want to celebrate their pregnancy. I was just asking the question here to see if there was any logical reason others were so against the parties. Guess I have my answer. 

Why does support = showing up to some ridiculous party?  My family and friends are supportive, but I don't see how that translates into requiring them to come to some party where I reveal what sex organs my kid has.  

Why does every aspect of pregnancy have to be celebrated?  I mean really, what's next? Name Reveals?  Nursery Reveals complete with ribbon cutting ceremonies?  Why?  Not everything you do warrants a celebration.  

Also, FWIW, your friends and family will never tell you to your face that it's ridiculous.  They just come bitch about it here.

I dunno, but I've never had a good friend or family member want to celebrate something and me feeling like bitching about it later. Show up, eat pizza, eat cake. Talk with friends/family. Enjoy self. What's to bitch about? 

Amstreagle

OneLastRefrain

Overreaction gif, much?

Amstreagle

OneLastRefrain said:

Overreaction gif, much?

Nope! Someone asks for opinions, gets opinions, then said opinions are questioned. It's quite fucking annoying if I do say so myself.

OneLastRefrain

Amstreagle said:

Overreaction gif, much?

Nope! Someone asks for opinions, gets opinions, then said opinions are questioned. It's quite fucking annoying if I do say so myself.

OP's question was about how to make sure no one brought gifts to a party she's already decided to have. It's "quite fucking annoying" to read opinions that have nothing to do with the actual question, just continual soapboxing on whether said party is "tacky". 

VOR

OneLastRefrain said:

Amstreagle said:

Overreaction gif, much?

Nope! Someone asks for opinions, gets opinions, then said opinions are questioned. It's quite fucking annoying if I do say so myself.

OP's question was about how to make sure no one brought gifts to a party she's already decided to have. It's "quite fucking annoying" to read opinions that have nothing to do with the actual question, just continual soapboxing on whether said party is "tacky". 

Well, ironically enough, the OP is NOT having this party after all.  Because NOW she and her DH will know the sex but they don't want to tell anyone because now they want to only get gender neutral gifts. 

OneLastRefrain

MandJS said:

OneLastRefrain said:

Amstreagle said:

Overreaction gif, much?

Nope! Someone asks for opinions, gets opinions, then said opinions are questioned. It's quite fucking annoying if I do say so myself.

OP's question was about how to make sure no one brought gifts to a party she's already decided to have. It's "quite fucking annoying" to read opinions that have nothing to do with the actual question, just continual soapboxing on whether said party is "tacky". 

Well, the beauty of an online forum like this one is that we get to voice our opinions however we want (provided they follow the TOU), even if you disagree. Just like we have to read your opinions, even though many of us think they are rude and tacky. 

This is true. My one problem with gender reveal parties is when the parents already know. Then, IMO, it's silly. 

OneLastRefrain

Well, the beauty of an online forum like this one is that we get to voice our opinions however we want (provided they follow the TOU), even if you disagree. Just like we have to read your opinions, even though many of us think they are rude and tacky. 

Well if everyone answered every post with off-topic responses, the board would be a hot mess. But like you said, that's the "beauty".  ;-)