Advice on Naming Disagreement

rowboat4

We officially found out last week that we are having a girl, and we are so excited! That being said, I am in sort of a dilemma with DH. The name that dear husband loves for our little one is a masculine name, spelled in a "youneek" way. I don't hate it, but there are so many names that I like so much better. But, he doesn't love any of the names that I love, and really seems to have his heart set on naming our daughter this name. I know what the general consensus is on this board about masculine/youneek names. I also think that it is so sweet that he is so excited and in love with a name for our little one. My question is, is it worth it to continue the fight to find a more feminine, less youneek name, or should I just let it go, and agree to name our daughter the name that dear husband loves? 

conradraging

I would push for proper spelling in the very least.

CML11

I would veto it. It's more than just trying to be agreeable, this is the name that will become her identity and follow her through adulthood. I would try and find a name you both agree on and love.

rowboat4

The name is Rylie. He likes Rylie Belle.

ETA: He likes it spelled that way because its a combination of our first names 

conradraging

In the United States Riley is currently more popular on girls than boys, so you probably wouldn't get too much side eye, but I stand by spelling it properly.

rowboat4

MauiBliss said:

Honestly, I think it's worth continuing to talk about it. You should both love your child's name. Could you middle name his favorite and see if you can find a first name you both love? If you absolutely must use his as a first name, please at least spell it properly. What is the name? 

This. This is exactly what I've been trying to explain to him. I love that he loves the name (if that makes sense) but I don't love the name.

BananaLettuce

I really, really dislike Riley on a girl.

My H's fave name was Hensley. It's a surname and hard to pronounce. He also liked Brooklyn. I vetoed both, and now we have Ruby and Catherine nn Kate in our top two.

Keep negotiating and find something you both love.

rowboat4

Thanks for the advice ladies. I really just wanted to make sure I wasn't being ridiculous by insisting that we try to find something else that we both like and can agree on. It's been hard because we both have very different styles of names we like, so it's definitely going to be a process.

Helenahhandbasket

mrsanders2013 said:

The name is Rylie. He likes Rylie Belle.

ETA: He likes it spelled that way because its a combination of our first names 

OK-- I thought this was going to be much, much worse.  I was imaginaing Addycyne.

OP-- the sentiment is really sweet, but if you don't love the name and don't think you ever will, maybe gently try to persuade him to use Rylie as a MN?  Or spell it Riley?  That spelling still has all of the same letters. 

GL!

deafy2006

I like either spelling but there has to be a compromise somewhere. I think my husband submitted on one of our names but he did give an opinion on whether he liked it or not. If he wasn't happy with it, I'm sure we'd still be sitting there staring at each other lol

saham07

I would at least insist on spelling the name correctly . What is the name? That would help me form an opinion on if you should keep pushing for another name.

rowboat4

@helenahhandbasket Yes, it's not as bad as something like Addycyne. But trust me, there are some other names that he has on his list that I thought for sure he was joking about, but he is dead serious. 

BananaLettuce

mrsanders2013 said:

MauiBliss said:

Honestly, I think it's worth continuing to talk about it. You should both love your child's name. Could you middle name his favorite and see if you can find a first name you both love? If you absolutely must use his as a first name, please at least spell it properly. What is the name? 

This. This is exactly what I've been trying to explain to him. I love that he loves the name (if that makes sense) but I don't love the name.

******

It makes total sense to me. I considered Hensley because I liked that H picked it out and loved it so much, and at least it was spelled properly. But I love Ruby and Kate so much more, and he loves Kate just as much, if not more, than Hensley.

Also pregnancy brain made me consider some crazy names I think. Haha.

lneice0160

DH and I had this problem with DD, we finally decided I would pick first name and he would choose her middle name, turns out we worked well that way!

saham07

saham07 said:

I would at least insist on spelling the name correctly . What is the name? That would help me form an opinion on if you should keep pushing for another name.

I just read the comments and see the name is Rylie. I don't like it. Could you give her a formal name and use Rylie (any spelling) as a nn? Rhiannon ?

rowboat4

BananaLettuce said:

MauiBliss said:

Honestly, I think it's worth continuing to talk about it. You should both love your child's name. Could you middle name his favorite and see if you can find a first name you both love? If you absolutely must use his as a first name, please at least spell it properly. What is the name? 

This. This is exactly what I've been trying to explain to him. I love that he loves the name (if that makes sense) but I don't love the name.

****** It makes total sense to me. I considered Hensley because I liked that H picked it out and loved it so much, and at least it was spelled properly. But I love Ruby and Kate so much more, and he loves Kate just as much, if not more, than Hensley. Also pregnancy brain made me consider some crazy names I think. Haha.

Can I blame pregnancy brain for his crazy choices?

rowboat4

saham07 said:

saham07 said:

I would at least insist on spelling the name correctly . What is the name? That would help me form an opinion on if you should keep pushing for another name.

I just read the comments and see the name is Rylie. I don't like it. Could you give her a formal name and use Rylie (any spelling) as a nn? Rhiannon ?

Rhiannon is a great name, but definitely too much "n" with our ln (Anders)

BananaLettuce

lneice0160 said:

DH and I had this problem with DD, we finally decided I would pick first name and he would choose her middle name, turns out we worked well that way!

I'm trying to push this one: Ruby Catherine and she can go by the double name Ruby Kate. That way we both win, right?

lneice0160

BananaLettuce said:

lneice0160 said:

DH and I had this problem with DD, we finally decided I would pick first name and he would choose her middle name, turns out we worked well that way!

I'm trying to push this one: Ruby Catherine and she can go by the double name Ruby Kate. That way we both win, right?

I really like Ruby, I had a favorite aunt with that name so soft spot in my heart. I see it as a win win lol.

rowboat4

@bananalettuce I think Ruby Catherine/Ruby Kate is perfect! Love it!

jennypolkadots

He doesn't get more say so in the name than you do, end of story. If you don't love Riley and he doesn't love your choices then all of those are out. He needs to understand that just by refusing to consider other choices, that doesn't make Riley more of a possibility. If you don't love it, it's out. There are thousands of names to chose from, you can find the right one!

I could have sworn you had settled on Belle Sophia Anders. Am I making this up? Belle is so much nicer than Riley and I remember the cute story of how you met and Sophia as a family name. And please oh please don't spell it Rylie. 

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rowboat4

jennypolkadots said:

He doesn't get more say so in the name than you do, end of story. If you don't love Riley and he doesn't love your choices then all of those are out. He needs to understand that just by refusing to consider other choices, that doesn't make Riley more of a possibility. If you don't love it, it's out. There are thousands of names to chose from, you can find the right one!

I could have sworn you had settled on Belle Sophia Anders. Am I making this up? Belle is so much nicer than Riley and I remember the cute story of how you met and Sophia as a family name. And please oh please don't spell it Rylie. 

I presented the Belle option to dh, and it's not totally out, but he doesn't like it on its own as a first name. He does like Arabella/Arabelle, so if we use that, Belle or Ari would probably be nn options. We both made new lists over the weekend, with the rule that we could each only include one of the names we had on our previous list, and his that he kept was Rylie. 

rowboat4

ClaryPax said:

Rylie Belle is a little too cutesy for me.  I know a Riley, and she fits her name.  I wouldn't say it is an awful name, but at least spell it correctly or MN it.  And the Belle sounds like a pet name not a grown up person's name.  For example Riley Annabelle might be cute because it is spelled correctly and gives a much more feminine middle name, then you can call her Riley Belle for short.  Personally though I would be more of a fan of Annabelle Riley (in this example), because I prefer more feminine first names. 

Arabelle/Arabella is a name that he does like (Belle is a very special name for us, so this still keeps it in the name), so maybe I can convince him to go with Arabelle/Arabella Rylie/Riley.

BethPSU

Maybe you can look for a name that is less feminine, but solidly still a girl name?  And definitely continue to fight for the original correct spelling!  Smoosh names are just not cool.  

Paige

Blair 

Teagan

Sidney

Aurora (Rory) - I think Aurora is super feminine and beautiful, but Rory is masculine and is a cute spunky NN.  

Maeve

rowboat4

BethPSU said:

Maybe you can look for a name that is less feminine, but solidly still a girl name?  And definitely continue to fight for the original correct spelling!  Smoosh names are just not cool.  

Paige

Blair 

Teagan

Sidney

Aurora (Rory) - I think Aurora is super feminine and beautiful, but Rory is masculine and is a cute spunky NN.  

Maeve

Blair and Paige are both options that I presented that are now on our combined list. (We made lists separately and then vetoed names on each others lists to make a combined list) I had Aurora, but dh vetoed it.

DaisyZH

I like Riley Belle, I think as long as you like it it's fine.

MissyCee

I agree with the other ladies that your child's name should be on you both like. It should be a joint decision. I've heard that some women make a deal where one person picks the first name and the other picks the middle name, but I know I personally wouldn't want to do that.

H and I didn't like each others top names, he thought my favorite sounded "old" (Elena) and I thought his sounded like a stripper name (Alexus). We both made lists together on a dry erase board and hung it up. We added to it as we thought of names and took time to look at them and think it over. We went to the hospital with the two names we both really liked though they weren't either of out top names, and then decided when DD was born.

shannm

My DH had opinions that were easily swayed when he heard outside opinions. I know not everyone likes to include others in the discussion but he would bounce things off of the nurses at work or read responses to my bump threads and often lose the extreme passion for the name. Like Emerson. He got over it quickly when he heard the bump feedback and he heard how popular it was.
And he didn't really click with DDs name when he first heard it but it grew on him over time and positive feedback from others helped. Now he brags about it and swears it is the only name in the world that suits her.

naflmj

As someone with major name regret because I didn't love a name and compromised because he didn't love my top contender, don't stop discussing.

And I don't love Riley or his spelling of it but I would at least push for Riley.