**pregnancy and pending loss mentioned** only a flicker at 7 weeks :(

CMH25

Sorry to be a Debbie downer. I had my first u/s today at 7 weeks 0 days. I had IVF so I'm certain of my dates. They couldn't find a measurable heartbeat. Only a faint flicker. With the uncertainty they want to do another u/s so I have no doubts. After they confirm the bad news, I will need to decide what to do next. Advice from anyone with a previous loss is appreciated. I can discontinue meds (progesterone and estrogen) and see if I pass the pregnancy on my own at home, schedule a D&C with anethesia, or take pills to force a miscarriage at home. This is so overwhelming.

aliciafiggy

Very sorry no advice for you.

Marissa6609

I am so sorry to hear this  

I was in a similar but different sitution when I had an ectopic in June. I was given the option to take the pills or have surgery and D&C. My Dr told me that the pills do not always work but we could go that route if I wanted to. He also said that I would have to wait 6 months to try again (I think most Drs may only make you wait 3 months). Since the pills were not a guarantee and I may have ended up needing surgery anyways, I opted for that. For me, limbo was the worst and I really felt like having the D&C helped me move on. Best of luck on whatever you decide.  ((HUGS))

turquoisequeen

I hate hearing this.  I am so so sorry! You'll be in my prayers. Good luck with whatever you decide. 

 

Carol77B

@CMH25 I'm so sorry you find yourself facing this. I had a similar experience with my u/s at 6 weeks. I highly recommend you search on the posts regarding natural vs D&C vs pills on the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss Forum. While I never posted on there, I found the current and archive posts incredibly helpful as I dealt with the loss and my decision about how to move forward. I chose to have a D&C under anesthesia and do not regret that decision. If you would like, please feel free to PM if you have any questions about that option.

Mrs.Ess

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't want to give false hope but I have heard stories of people who don't have a heart beat until they go for their loss confirmation ultrasound and then there it is. Maybe you can continue meds until that u/s just in case. I agree the miscarriage board is a good resource.

Huge hugs.

AMShark

*** Sigggy warning - lurking from PAIF ***

I'm so sorry to read this.  Your experience sounds a lot like my first IVF earlier this year.  My first scan showed a gestational sac, but the fetal pole was too small and hard to find, and there was no heartbeat.  I also needed to return for several additional scans, during which time a heartbeat finally did appear, but it was slow, and now the yolk sac was too big (which is, apparently, another bad sign).

Being in limbo was very difficult.  I had a very small chance of hope, but always attached with some bad news, or ominous sign.  It took several weeks, but it felt like a lifetime (I guess it *was* my baby's entire lifetime), but I returned for scans until the heartbeat stopped, and then did a D&C with anesthesia.

Compared to the waiting, the D&C was "easy" if that's the right word.  Because of the anesthesia, it felt a lot like ER, but without the hopefulness.  I did cry in recovery - a lot - they brought DH in to calm me down.  After that, life returned to pseudo normal, but during the weeks that followed, I had a few random days where I felt very depressed, or cried at the drop of a hat.

I think it took about 9 weeks for AF to return, and at that point, I was ready for IVF#2.  Daily injections are a great distraction, and helped me feel hopeful again.

I can only speak about the D&C, because that's my only experience, but I feel it was the right choice for me.  I did not experience any pain, other than constipation and bloating for the first week after the procedure (which was no joke).  In retrospect, I would have bought some stool softener in advance so I could have had it on hand.  You can always return it if you don't need it.  I saw a recommendation for Peri-Colace on these boards, and that's what I would try if I had to do it again.

I do not have personal experience with medication taken to induce the miscarriage, but the feedback I read on-line from people who went that route scared me a little.  I believe the miscarriage can involve painful cramping.

Don't give up all hope just yet.  Some babies just start their development slowly - It could be possible that yours will fight it out.

However, if you do lose your pregnancy, know that there are many women out there, and on these boards that have been through it, and who would like to give you their support.  There is a Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board and a TTCAL board - both of which are full of people that can answer your questions.

I wish there was something I could say to make it better.  Unfortunately, there are somethings we cannot fix, no matter how badly we want to fix them.

jessimi06

I'm so so sorry that you're going through this
I'm hoping that your little one is just a slow starter.

With our loss with chose to have a D&C. We had already been through the ringer with being in limbo for weeks before we got the m/c confirmation and my body was continuing on as normal so it would have probably been weeks/months before I m/c on my own and I didn't want to have to wait anymore. The D&C went as easy as you could expect it to. I will say that you'll likely bleed twice (no one told me this) once after the procedure and once when your hormone levels drop.

ETA: the D&C also allowed us to do karyotyping which helped give us answers as our baby was chromosomally abnormal and incompatible with life.

AMShark

If you are considering the D&C, you might want to look at the following thread from the "Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss" board - What I wish I knew post D&C

I found the information in that thread very helpful.

CMH25

You are all amazing. Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts and experiences. I will check on the miscarriage board as well, but feel so much more comfortable here.

sweetpotato123

Siggy warning

I have no advice, but sending prayers and thinking about you and your OH.

IfMamaAintHappy

First, I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. I also suggest that you at least go over to the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board to read even if you don't feel comfortable posting. That board was my lifeline in the initial dark days with my first m/c because otherwise I felt so alone. So alone. Those ladies are actually going through the same thing as you at the same time. It's a tremendous support resource.

** warning: specifics on my losses below**



Regarding your choices, I've done the medication (once) and natural (twice). I never opted to do the D&C because I didn't want to have a procedure and I didn't want to have any delays in getting my period. There are pros and cons to all of the choices:

Medication: it gave me control over the timing and took me out of the emotional limbo and gave me closure (the limbo and waiting are horrific- every day feels like a million years in hell); the medication induced a mini-labor for me and it hurt like hell even through pain meds. Not sure I would ever do that again, but it served its purpose.

Natural: the cramping was mild and definitely bearable, but drug on for days until everything passed. Did this twice so it was my most comfortable choice (but there is no way I could have done this for my first miscarriage when my whole world had just come unwound).

D&C: no personal experience, but my only regret here is that if I had chosen this route I could have likely had the tissue tested for chromosomal abnormalities and answered a lot of our questions.

Hope this helps and again I'm so very sorry that it appears you are going in that direction. Many hugs.

katers79

No advice, just wanting to say how sorry I am.
Eta spelling

Justone13

No advice. I just wanted to send you big hugs. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Sending t&p.

Pets4Life

I am so sorry you are going through this. We had a similar experience....first u/s was perfect, second u/s before being released to OB showed slow and abnormal heartbeat, third u/s showed that we lost our sweet little one. The waiting was awful and certainly some sad and dark days. Sending you strength for your journey.

***Specific loss details*****

We had the 3 options you were given. I agree with op, it is a personal decision and everyone feels a little differently. We chose D&C because I didn't want to *wait* for my body and the medication was not a guarantee. My RE also told me that at 8w5d there would be a lot of tissue to pass. She was able to get me into surgery the next day, the hospital staff was amazing, and I don't remember anything. We were also able to send off for chromosomal testing and get some answers. I did have some "mini labor" the night before the D&C and it was so awful. The pain was unbelievable and i did pass some blood but that was it.

Good luck to you. Be easy on yourself. Do not shut out your SO. Sending creepy internet hugs....