Obsessing over weight

binzy55

Is anyone else struggling with this? I started at 195 pounds and now I'm at 203.6 pounds and I can't stop obsessing over the scale. I take walks most days with my husband and dogs and eat healthy for the most part. I find I splurge here and there but I do eat healthy and have had an aversion to meat. Just looking for support and any other advice. Thanks!

Stephij1

I'm the same way. I started out a little overweight (after losing 30 pounds), so it freaks me out a little. I find that I feel better about myself when my version of eating healthy is low carb. I gain weight much more slowly when I don't eat grains and sugar very often. Good luck!

robsbabygirl08

That's only 8 pounds!!! You are doing a fantastic job!! It's hard not obsess over the scale, but I still do it. I finally hid my scale because I was crying almost every morning. Even though I'm not happy about the way I look, I feel better knowing that #1. It is all for a good cause, and #2. I know I can get the weight off so I'm trying really hard not to dwell in it.

binzy55

Thanks ladies! It's hard because my OB says that she only wants me to gain about 10 and I still have 3 months to go. Also when I weigh in at her office the scale NEVER matches what mine says at home. But it's in the afternoon and I've eaten lunch, been constipated (tmi, sorry) and so she's like "well it's not good." Just discouraging

AggieMom0809

I am in the same boat. I didn't worry about the scale this much with either of my other pregnancies. I finally started loosing weight before I got pregnant and now I am in fear of going back. What helps me is that thought that as long as I don't eat out of control and exercise, I can get back where I started. Breastfeeding will be my secret weapon after the baby comes to lose weight.

soon2bejp

I can't believe the Dr is giving you shit! I'd take some laxatives and leave her a nice present on the scale next time you go in.

BookitBoo

Try not to worry too much, it sounds like you are working to control your weight gain and 8 pounds is really awesome!

soon2bejp

Too much? I'm feeling kind of hostile. My poor husband...

emilyp2013

I'm with the above, especially @soon2bejp‌ . Lol ;-) Keep doing your best for baby! If you go over the 10lb goal, it's still something you can lose later. I've had to lose about 45 lb in the past with an endocrine/metabolic disorder so I promise it can be done! I'm proud of you for working so hard and loving your baby so much!

Stargirlb

Don't worry-- the first year after pregnancy I felt a great surge in desire to workout and meet my goals. Pregnancy is not the time to be stressing about weight. I'm doing a basic fitness plan right now with weights and cardio. Nothing intense, just enough to keep my muscles going and feel Good physically. Maybe that is something that would work for you too.

Maebb

I think you're doing great! I've gained 15 lbs, and my doctor told me to try to stick to 3 lbs per month for the remaining time. I wasn't caring at all about my weight before, but now I'm thinking about it more.

I agree with PPs to try to stay active because the exercise will keep your weight gain on track as long as your diet is also reasonable, and it will also help during labor and delivery. I don't want to have too much weight to lose post-partum, but I also want to enjoy my pregnancy and not obsess about food or my weight (in a counter-productive way), so I'm trying to do that.

tanya_erin

You're growing a child, so it's normal to gain weight. I'm sure you will lose once baby is out.

csjsmom

My doctor told me I had gained too much at my last appointment with her (around 18 weeks) and I was up 6.5. She told me to watch my weight gain, cut out extras (cake, etc). It's stressful!

I started out heavier than I was at the end of my 2 other pregnancies so I am trying to keep the gain less than the other times. With my first I gained about 40. The second I gained 20. But I felt pretty good about the 6.5 at that point! I have had an enormous amount of difficulty losing weight after I have had my babies even with exercise and breast feeding so I'm careful. But I don't think I can really do any better than I am. Drives me crazy!

MusicFanatic

binzy55 said:

Thanks ladies! It's hard because my OB says that she only wants me to gain about 10 and I still have 3 months to go. Also when I weigh in at her office the scale NEVER matches what mine says at home. But it's in the afternoon and I've eaten lunch, been constipated (tmi, sorry) and so she's like "well it's not good." Just discouraging

Your doctor sounds like a true lovely peach. Personally speaking, I would find a new one- sounds like she has some weird weight hang ups. And she definitely has no tact.  

8 pounds is absolutely fine.

lbete

I started at 180 and weighed in at 195 yesterday and got a mini lecture "well you can't exactly diet but..."
I now weigh what I did full term with my son 5 years ago (
I am confident I will lose it but it's pretty hard to get an earful at the doc.

Eyefrog

my family doc is more about how much one is gaining to try and help mom with post partum, when the body can be really changed from previous it can help bring on or make pp blues/depression worse. My ob on the other hand never talks about what the scale says, just great, good or same. If I ask she will tell me the gain for the month but not the actual number. Try to focus more on enjoying the remainder of the pg, eat healthy, continue your walks and you will gain what your body thinks you need

LooneyLife

Oh good, a topic we haven't discussed yet.

Edvent

I started out at a similar weight last time and whenever I brought up my weight my Dr would say "you're pregnant, you're supposed to gain some weight". I gained 30 total and he was fine with it and never brought it up unless I did, and then only to reassure me. I think if there's no other health concerns it seems like she's being a bit extreme. I agree to eat healthy and exercise, but you're pregnant, you're going to gain some weight. Sorry your dr is not being more supportive.

AggieMom0809

MusicFanatic said:

binzy55 said:

Thanks ladies! It's hard because my OB says that she only wants me to gain about 10 and I still have 3 months to go. Also when I weigh in at her office the scale NEVER matches what mine says at home. But it's in the afternoon and I've eaten lunch, been constipated (tmi, sorry) and so she's like "well it's not good." Just discouraging

Your doctor sounds like a true lovely peach. Personally speaking, I would find a new one- sounds like she has some weird weight hang ups. And she definitely has no tact.  

8 pounds is absolutely fine.

The OPs OB is going off of the weight she started. I'm not sure how it's a hang up on weight to tell her patient that she is above where she should be according the their chart. It's what the OP will do with the info. The OB wouldn't be doing their job if they just sugar coated it and said everything way going as it should. 

I don't think the OP needs to be stressing over it though. If nothing else stress tends to pack on weight. I waiting for the comments from my OB when I go in this week. I know it's not going to be good, but I'm not going to let myself stress about it either. I know I can lose the weight once the baby comes and I'm not to a point that the weight gain is a risk factor for the baby.

liladelphia215

I'm in the same boat. 

I weighed around 174 (according to my Dr.'s scale and I'm 5'2 so that is overweight) my first apt - we have 5 doctors in the practice and the first one I saw said that ideally my weight would stay the same throughout the pregnancy, with a very maximum at 15lbs gained.

At the end of my pregnancy with DD I was a little over 200 lbs and had gained 55 lbs. I was in a lot of pain from the extra weight, so I appreciated the recommendation to gain minimally, because the end of my last pregnancy was rough. 

I figured 0 lbs gained was a pretty stressful goal, so I am trying to stick to one rule... Eat when I'm hungry, don't eat when I'm not, no mindless eating and let the pieces fall as they will. As of now, I'm up around 10 lbs (my first few months I only gained 3-4.. this month I put on six.. whoops). None of the other doctors in my practice have mentioned my weight so I guess it's okay.

You can only do your best. Believe me, I know it's hard to hear from the doctor about your weight, but I sincerely believe that sometimes advice like that is for the best so that you don't over gain. Don't make yourself be hungry, do what you can, and the rest will come together. 

ginnyroy

I feel ya.... I think the less weight you've gained, the more you freak out when you start gaining. I am a larger woman anyways, i started out weighing 245 then lost down to 230 and am now back up to 235 and I'm nervous about those 5 lbs I've gained since I'm technically not supposed to gain much at all.

NatureLovers

I'm in a weird place with this too. Thanks to the HG, I initially lost about 15-16lbs. At nearly 27 weeks, I'm finally back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm surprised at how much the weight gain is bothering me, mostly because I'm just thankful to be able to eat at all. I guess it's because I started out at my highest weight ever thanks to some steroid treatments and a bad accident, so knowing that when I deliver I'll be well over my highest weight is a tough pill to swallow, but there's nothing I can really do about it. I'm just trying to focus on being thankful to be eating and I'll deal with the rest later.

Maebb

@BabyStandish‌, this is a little off-topic, but DH has said before that he kind of wishes he could get pregnant and breastfeed just to see what it's like and to get to spend that extra time with the baby. If that could be medically possible, I would definitely be in favor of it!

idontevenknow

Well now I feel like shit. I started at the same weight as you and am now a hefty 215. but I guess I'm not doing anything about it, so perhaps this post will kick me into high gear! Or not... idk.

peggels24

I am way heavier than you and was told by both my OB and the MFM that I met with that I should expect to gain between 15-25 lbs.  My OB hasn't said one word about my weight this entire time.  I think your doctor sounds like an ass.

That being said, I can understand how hearing your weight gain is "not good" is disheartening.  However, it sounds like you know how to eat healthy - so just eat as healthy as you can making sure that you and the baby get the nutrition that you both need.  The number on the scale is not the only thing that matters.

I'm sorry that your doctor said that to you.

vjdk07

OP, your doctor is an idiot.  Sorry.  Today, I was 252.  Heaviest I've ever been in my life and I've gained 12 pounds so far (24 weeks today.)  My doctor has not said a single word about my weight.  Nothing.  Just keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. 

LuckyPenny1231

I have to agree that your doctor doesn't seem to have a lot of tact. I get that your overweight and shouldn't gain a ton of weight. But 8 lbs seems fine for how far along you are?

Honestly, keep up the good work with being active and eating healthy. I know how stressful it can be. I started out at 192 and I've been watching my weight like a hawk trying to make sure I don't gain very much. I eat when I'm hungry but try to stick to healthy snacks and watch my portions. My doctor said I should gain on the low end of normal which is what, 15-20 lbs max? I think that seems more reasonable than your doctors rule of 10lbs.

LaBellaVida

I agree with pp, your Dr. Sounds like an idiot.
I can't fathom why a Dr. Only expects you to gain 10 lbs.
Figure a baby weights between 6 and 9 lbs at term. Then placenta is about 2 lbs. Then water another 2 lbs. Then blood volume 2 to 4 lbs.
I wouldn't worry about 8 lbs.
I'm over weight too, and I was told 15 to 20 lbs I should gain.

If I gain a little more, whatever. ... eat right, exercise, you'll be fine.

honeybeee3

I have a hard time believing that your doctor has an issue with you gaining a measly 8lbs. At this stage of pregnancy, 8lbs is nothing and I'm pretty sure you know that. To me this all just seems like a weird way of trying to get validaton and pat on the back.

Sorry weight gain posts make me stabby. No good ever comes from them.

AggieMom0809

vjdk07 said:

OP, your doctor is an idiot.  Sorry.  Today, I was 252.  Heaviest I've ever been in my life and I've gained 12 pounds so far (24 weeks today.)  My doctor has not said a single word about my weight.  Nothing.  Just keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. 

Ever think maybe it's your dr that's the idiot or just doesn't care about you. Why would it be a bad thing that the OPs OB is concerned about a particular amount of weight gain?!?! It's the doctors job to make sure the patient is informed on how they should be progressing through their particular pregnancy, that includes weight gain. That doesn't mean the OP needs to go on a drastic diet or be depressed because she didn't get the OBs approval. It means going forward maybe choose to skip a snack or pick a healthier choice

AggieMom0809

LaBellaVida said:

I agree with pp, your Dr. Sounds like an idiot. I can't fathom why a Dr. Only expects you to gain 10 lbs. Figure a baby weights between 6 and 9 lbs at term. Then placenta is about 2 lbs. Then water another 2 lbs. Then blood volume 2 to 4 lbs. I wouldn't worry about 8 lbs. I'm over weight too, and I was told 15 to 20 lbs I should gain. If I gain a little more, whatever. ... eat right, exercise, you'll be fine.

The idea behind gaining anything less than the traditional 25-35 lbs is that you are still working on getting yourself to a "normal" body weight. 10 lbs is doable, but I personally thinks it's ridiculous to think that someone who is already overweight to start losing or stay the same through out their pregnancy unless they were already on a path of losing weight. It has to be a lifestyle change with all the other things to worry about during a pregnancy, trying to stick to a diet and exercise program is way down and the list.

AggieMom0809

honeybeee3 said:

I have a hard time believing that your doctor has an issue with you gaining a measly 8lbs. At this stage of pregnancy, 8lbs is nothing and I'm pretty sure you know that. To me this all just seems like a weird way of trying to get validaton and pat on the back. Sorry weight gain posts make me stabby. No good ever comes from them.

Obviously you weren't that overweight to start with, didn't gain that much, or your OB doesn't care. Mine said the same thing this week. 22w and I'm up 11lbs. I was told to try to only gain 15 lbs this time around.

Stargirlb

Doctors weight-shame ppl all the time. I don't find this hard to believe at all, and it's kind of rude to accuse her of lying and "seeking validation" when she already has said the situation has made her feel discouraged....

KnitPixy

Started at about 215lbs and am at 223lbs as of last week (I purposely only weigh in at doctor appointments).  I'd lost just shy of 40lbs over the year prior as well.

Both my OB and endo agree that it is best if I can keep the weight gain between the 10 - 20lb mark for the pregnancy but they have both stressed that it is a guideline.  As both have said to me, every woman is different in how, where and when they put on weight during pregnancy. 

Because I'm eating well, getting exercise (ie walking and swimming, I had to quit weight training at about 15 weeks thanks to body temperature spikes from the intensity of the workout) and generally taking good care of myself neither doctor is worrying over what the scale says too much.  Also helps that it is very obvious that all my newfound weight is sitting on my boobs and belly

Your doctor is probably well intentioned but I would suggest having a very honest and frank conversation with them about their comments.  If they ae concerned that you are gaining too much too soon ask them what they would suggest you do differently.  Most doctors are looking at BMI in isolation which is not always the best measure of a person's fitness level/health.

 

vjdk07

AggieMom0809 said:

vjdk07 said:

OP, your doctor is an idiot.  Sorry.  Today, I was 252.  Heaviest I've ever been in my life and I've gained 12 pounds so far (24 weeks today.)  My doctor has not said a single word about my weight.  Nothing.  Just keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. 

Ever think maybe it's your dr that's the idiot or just doesn't care about you. Why would it be a bad thing that the OPs OB is concerned about a particular amount of weight gain?!?! It's the doctors job to make sure the patient is informed on how they should be progressing through their particular pregnancy, that includes weight gain. That doesn't mean the OP needs to go on a drastic diet or be depressed because she didn't get the OBs approval. It means going forward maybe choose to skip a snack or pick a healthier choice

Oh, @AggieMom0809, our resident J15 troll.  No, I don't think my doctor is an idiot.  We had the weight discussion once at the first appointment.  If there was an issue, he would tell me.  I'm not stupid, I know the risks and problems that can come from my weight and he doesn't feel the need to beat it in my head or shame me at every appointment.  8 pounds gained at 20+ weeks isn't bad no matter who you are. 

honeybeee3

Stargirlb said:

Doctors weight-shame ppl all the time. I don't find this hard to believe at all, and it's kind of rude to accuse her of lying and "seeking validation" when she already has said the situation has made her feel discouraged....

Yeah you're right, I didn't realize it at the time but my comment was slightly rude and unfair. Since I have no experience with "weight shaming" from a doctor, and because weight posts bother me so much, it probably would have been better for me not to comment. Or I could've at least been a little nicer.

Anyways, I apologize OP if I offended you.

AggieMom0809

vjdk07 said:

AggieMom0809 said:

vjdk07 said:

OP, your doctor is an idiot.  Sorry.  Today, I was 252.  Heaviest I've ever been in my life and I've gained 12 pounds so far (24 weeks today.)  My doctor has not said a single word about my weight.  Nothing.  Just keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. 

Ever think maybe it's your dr that's the idiot or just doesn't care about you. Why would it be a bad thing that the OPs OB is concerned about a particular amount of weight gain?!?! It's the doctors job to make sure the patient is informed on how they should be progressing through their particular pregnancy, that includes weight gain. That doesn't mean the OP needs to go on a drastic diet or be depressed because she didn't get the OBs approval. It means going forward maybe choose to skip a snack or pick a healthier choice

Oh, @AggieMom0809, our resident J15 troll.  No, I don't think my doctor is an idiot.  We had the weight discussion once at the first appointment.  If there was an issue, he would tell me.  I'm not stupid, I know the risks and problems that can come from my weight and he doesn't feel the need to beat it in my head or shame me at every appointment.  8 pounds gained at 20+ weeks isn't bad no matter who you are. 

Or maybe the realized with talking you at that first appointment that it wasn't worth their effort to keep telling you because  you'd be too stubborn to listen to them

Stargirlb

AggieMom0809 said:

vjdk07 said:

AggieMom0809 said:

vjdk07 said:

OP, your doctor is an idiot.  Sorry.  Today, I was 252.  Heaviest I've ever been in my life and I've gained 12 pounds so far (24 weeks today.)  My doctor has not said a single word about my weight.  Nothing.  Just keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. 

Ever think maybe it's your dr that's the idiot or just doesn't care about you. Why would it be a bad thing that the OPs OB is concerned about a particular amount of weight gain?!?! It's the doctors job to make sure the patient is informed on how they should be progressing through their particular pregnancy, that includes weight gain. That doesn't mean the OP needs to go on a drastic diet or be depressed because she didn't get the OBs approval. It means going forward maybe choose to skip a snack or pick a healthier choice

Oh, @AggieMom0809, our resident J15 troll.  No, I don't think my doctor is an idiot.  We had the weight discussion once at the first appointment.  If there was an issue, he would tell me.  I'm not stupid, I know the risks and problems that can come from my weight and he doesn't feel the need to beat it in my head or shame me at every appointment.  8 pounds gained at 20+ weeks isn't bad no matter who you are. 



Or maybe the realized with talking you at that first appointment that it wasn't worth their effort to keep telling you because  you'd be too stubborn to listen to them
--

SUPREME STRATEGY

Stargirlb

So Aggiesmom is basically saying that u are getting too fat AND your doc thinks you are a waste of time.

Stargirlb

She's like that offensive annoying MIL whose kids (and their wives,) have to cut out of their lives. Aggiesmom, there is still time to change and become more likeable.

AggieMom0809

Stargirlb said:

She's like that offensive annoying MIL whose kids (and their wives,) have to cut out of their lives. Aggiesmom, there is still time to change and become more likeable.

and you're one to talk about being likeable?