Moms of two or more.

J&NL

Do you ever find yourself liking* one kid more than the other? Some days I adore DD and I feel like she is the sweetest thing ever. Other days, not so much. However, I find myself loving on DS more. I guess since he's so little and such a sweet heart that it makes my heart swell. 

Is this a common thing for mothers of multiples? Or am I alone? 

I feel guilty from time to time because I feel like I don't love on DD as much as I should, which is usually a check for me so I make a conscious effort to. Toddlers years are so difficult sometimes.

Anyways, sorry for the rambling. Just wanted some other opinions. 

ETA: clarifying. 

Jessimax

I don't love one kid more than another. But I definitely like one more than another at times.

J&NL

That's what I meant. Of course, I love both of my kids the same. 

zazu13

I joke that whoever is happiest is my favorite. I know what you mean, but I think deep down you know you love them both equally. I just try to get some 1:1 snuggle time with each every day and take advantage of 1:1 time when DH is home or I have a second person to take one or the other. When you're always juggling two, it sometimes feels foreign to have just one to love on, but I find it makes me feel more bonded to them and love them that much more.

yellowflower15

Well, I didn't like my toddler much when she bit me today. And even less when she bit me a second time. Fun day.

J&NL

Yeah, I definitely make an effort to love on both the same. I just find it so much easier to love on the little one compared to the older one but it's just like you said, who ever is easiest is the one I like the most and 9 times out of 10, he's easier. Which also makes me feel guilty. Ha. The mom guilt never ends, does it?

J&NL

yellowflower15 said:

Well, I didn't like my toddler much when she bit me today. And even less when she bit me a second time. Fun day.

Yikes! We went through a biting stage. Now it's alllllll attitude. 

Bluebird2318

To be quite honest, it's never even occurred to me. I have moments of frustration with both of them but it never reflects on the other, neither for better nor worse. 

yellowflower15

J&NL said:

yellowflower15 said:

Well, I didn't like my toddler much when she bit me today. And even less when she bit me a second time. Fun day.

Yikes! We went through a biting stage. Now it's alllllll attitude. 

Ahhhh! Hoping it's a one off and not the start of a long term phase! She does it once in a while, but so far not regularly.

Laroo0220

I'm having a hard time with this right now. Ds is in kindergarten and has been super naughty everyday and dd has been the happiest sweetest baby. I try to be conscious of it but its hard. Glad I'm not alone

BuggasMom

I have never felt that I like one more than the other. But each kid has their good days and their bad days which obviously sets my mood for the day.

But I really strive to make time for each child one on one daily. I am super cautious of being fair and splitting my time due to having parents that did not.

chichi589

DD has been so sassy I put her to bed an hour early the other night I felt so guilty but I was ready to pull my hair out. It's so hard sharing attention..

joyfullyfound

Yeah, of course. For me it's the opposite of you - I have a deeper relationship with DD because she has been in my life longer and is old enough to converse with me, be affectionate, and is totally hilarious. DS is super sweet, but he's still a pretty little baby and he isn't super fascinating to me, haha. 

momofmanyinthemitten

Whoever I'm playing with at the moment I like the best. It's forever changing throughout the day.

strawberrytree

For sure. When LO was going through his horrible early days where he screamed for hours due to reflux, I worried that I'd resent him for being such a hard baby. Now when my toddler is being a turd I often think well, at least THIS one isn't simultaneously telling me to go away and ordering me to get him a snack right now.

Ashleypixie

I love them all, but they are very different people. My 12 yo is an old soul, and I really love hanging out with him and he makes me laugh. My 9 yo is very dramatic which would probably be annoying to another parent but I thinks it's hilarious. And she is extremely intelligent. Like doogie howser smart. And the baby is obviously perfect, just happy and cute. I have some days when one of them gets on my nerves, but I'd say my 9 yo was a generally sucky toddler. Toddlers are cute mini satans.

Dahlia414

I for sure have a favorite right now. LO is so sweet and cute, smiling and laughing all day. Toddler is a horrible screaming mess everyday. I love them the same and I know at some point LO will be the screaming toddler. I'll just never tell them.

Smores730

Don't feel guilty. I've been in squishy baby heaven with #3 and I remember trying to hide it when #2 was a little baby too. Babies are so simplistic and easy to please compared to young children. All their bs drama wears you down (oh did I give you the wrong color sippy cup?) It will all even out. Your baby will turn into the PITA toddler soon enough and at that point you'll probably be having these same feelings but in reverse and feeling self conscious about loving too much on the older one!

J&NL

Ugh, I don't want him to grow up. He can stay a little squish foreverrrr  (

cnbean

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only mom who feels like this! Most of my IRL mom friends only have 1 kid so I can't ask them. For me I think DS1's personality is too similar to mine and he can push my buttons so fast. But DS2 is just a sweetheart and he is so fun to be around that I feel like I 'like' him better. And then I feel like a bad mom!

JWest07

I was describing my feelings on this to a friend the other day (she us planning for her 2nd). I described it as a completely different love for each child. To quantify the love, it is the same amount, but the feeling is very different for each one.