We're all cheating cheaters who cheat

SpaceGirlSpiff

Chances are, this may have already been posted or referenced here because of the level of asshattery, and I'm just behind like I usually am ...but... still.

Can this please STOP circulating my facebook page? 

https://familyshare.com/10-ways-you-are-being-unfaithful-to-your-spouse-and-you-dont-even-know-it

SpaceGirlSpiff

• Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.

  Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.

• 1. Flirting

  Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into the category of flirting? Here's oneexplanation of what flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc."

  Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.

• 2. Confiding in the opposite gender

  When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness.

• 3. Spending time alone with someone else

  What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen." Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse.

• 4. Talking negatively about your mate

  When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.

• 5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex

  If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

• 6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse

  If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.

• 7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone else

  If you're writing a letter of condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.

• 8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse

  Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all aspects.

• 9. Putting your parents before your spouse

  Your spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others.

• 10. Putting your children before your spouse

  Kids matter. They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.

  Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage

ASmallWonder

Yeah, no.

insertclevername

Just no.

MyMorningCoffee

Eeew. This has appeared several time in my feed too, but I never opened it. 

vandelay

Yuck.

bearfootz

Is tongue wrestling someone other than DH wrong? Because I don't see it on the list..

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

insertclevername

I dressed up on to look nice on my girl's weekend. I am such a Jezebel.

theseaword

Author of article pictured below.

theseaword

Sorry for the triple pic...but it almost helps the joke so I'm leaving it.

bearfootz

But if you want DH to take you out on the town you'd better get some bling jeans...

5. Look pretty for the occasion

Dress up a bit. It's fun to be with a woman who cares about how she looks. Make him proud to have you by his side. That doesn't mean you have to get all fancied up every time you go out, but you need to change into something attractive, even if it's those trendy jeans with glitter on the back pockets. That alone will put specialness into the date. Make the man proud to be with you.

theseaword

If all my man has to be proud of is his wife's glittery ass, he has bigger problems than a frumpy date night companion.

Libby1978

Ummmm....my kids are absolutely #1.  My spouse knows this.  I brought them into the world, so they are my ultimate responsibility.   If he wants to be someones #1 he can go talk to his mommy.  And some of the other things on that list are just stupid.

bearfootz

Don't worry, the date spices up by #8

8. Sometimes, include another couple you both enjoy being with

 

sleepy33

LOL the authors of the article are a couple that look to be in their 70's, so that explains a lot.

lildevil968

bearfootz said:

But if you want DH to take you out on the town you'd better get some bling jeans...

5. Look pretty for the occasion

Dress up a bit. It's fun to be with a woman who cares about how she looks. Make him proud to have you by his side. That doesn't mean you have to get all fancied up every time you go out, but you need to change into something attractive, even if it's those trendy jeans with glitter on the back pockets. That alone will put specialness into the date. Make the man proud to be with you.

What if your DH hates bling jeans like mine does? Cries.

Dawn5481

Only thing that makes me want to pour bleach into my eyes more is the god awful mental image I got after reading #8 and seeing the author's picture.

SpaceGirlSpiff

What's even worse are the comments on this latest FB post I copied this from (I've seen it circulated a few times though)...this is not my FB friend... I'm assuming a friend of a friend...luckily my FB friend who commented is a guy that completely disagrees so...he may stay:

One girl said the following:

"I agree 1000%!!!!"

"How can this be crap? So you are perfectly fine with your girl making googally eyes at another guy? -wait because she's an adult, it's OK to go to lunch with the same guy? Then after that time they spend alone in the break room he touches her waist thinking this is OK because of all the alone time and connection between them. But she likes it and then what? See it all started from a hair flip and googly eyes. I'm not a jealous personmost of this stuff wouldn't bother me if it did happen in my marriage butlike the title says could be ruining your marriage without you even knowing it"

"Ha I know most people won't agree with me (name) but I strongly agree with the artical. This is also what my opinion of a strong Christian marriage looks like"

"That's a ridiculous comparative. Ever hear of we didn't mean for it to happen. I have. And as much trust as there may be, these CAN not will but can lead to something more. I think the artical is coming from a very strong Christ like relationship. Where you want to do everything in your power to be Christ like and sorry, Jesus isn't going to be flirting, bet he didn't make slight body contact, and pretty sure in the bible it says not to talk badly about your spouse. Why? Because it opens up an avenue where the road isn't solid. Marriage is hard enough"

IN RESPONSE TO: Delaina your argument is the same as a girl wanted to be raped because of how she dressed. My wife is a grown adult and our relationship is built upon trust. And I trust her 100%. I fell cheating is based on intentions not on perception

I just.... the stupid burns.  Again the lesson is learned....just LOOK AWAY from the comments.

Helenahhandbasket

I will always put my child before my spouse.

#cheater

bearfootz

It's true, some questionable people make the googley eyes

Whenigrowup

That "artical" is pretty awful.  And now I'm going to play devil's advocate.  Not in defense of #8 (because NO ONE, not even men, should feel obligated to have sex when they don't want to) but being totally honest here, I do think the level of intimacy (or lack of intimacy) is the #1 problem in my marriage, and it has led to a lot of questioning on my part.   

FFTC: I have even found myself thinking about being with other people IRL.  Not in the sense that I want to hook up with them, but like, "If I were with him, would we have sex more often? Would I feel wanted?"  

Are either H or I being unfaithful? No--though, according to that list, we both are.  8 is huge.  Not the obligation, but the WANTING to.  

Putting on flame suit...

SpaceGirlSpiff

I totally think sex and intimacy are an important part of marriage, and we should consider our partners in that department...absolutely.

The way this article describes the idea though? No.

That's the thing...some of the titles of each point on the list, I could kind of agree with or see as a valid point for discussion....UNTIL I read the reasoning/description after it.  Then it's just: NO.

JNerd

Hubby and I have talked about 'emotional affairs' et etc, and know where the lines are in our marriage. I think we are good.

The one thing I will say is, yes our kids are too small to meet their own needs so they are a priority, but, that does not mean our marriage is fully on the back burner. Kids live at home until 18ish, and I sure as hell plan on being married longer than that- so we make a point to stay connected and keep each other as priorities.

allrightmeow

<---- Dirty cheatin whore over here