Name Nightmare!

taylordifazio

Xxx

Everyusernameistaken

Yeah you ned to relax. It's not the end of the world. My friend had her baby a few weeks before us and gave him.the name we'd (secretly) picked for our son. I told her we loved the name she'd picked, so much that we'd also chosen it for our son as well. We laughed and moved on and we both have kids with the same name now. No big deal.

I'm dying to know what your daughter's name is though.

serenbach

I would be frustrated as well, however it was a risk that you took by keeping the name a secret. My partner has said since he was young that he wanted to name his first son after his grandad, if someone else close to me was to chose the same name I would think that it sucks but it wouldn't make me change the name because that's the name I've imagined since the ultrasound and become attached to.

If I were in your situation I would probably

1st - calm down!
2nd - speak to your friend and say how surprised you were about the name because that's what you chose months ago, explain the story to her about how you came about choosing the name etc and if she says that you shouldn't go ahead and call your child that then maybe you shouldn't be friends with someone like that... Which might work out nice for you because at least then your child and hers won't spend too much time together!
3rd - don't worry about what others think, it's just a coincident, you haven't stole the fetus out of her womb you simply have both picked a name that you both like. And as for the social media aspect, I can't even.

mb314

Come on, after all that text with no paragraphs - WHAT'S THE NAME?!?!

Unfortunately, you run the risk of someone in your family/friends circles using your baby's name any time - but even more so when you choose not to tell people the name ahead of time (FWIW - I like not sharing baby names until the baby is born.  That's what DH and I did with DS1 and we're doing the same now). 

As pp have said, no one owns a name.  And typically, when people think they've come up with a unique or unusual name, it's not as unique or unusual as they think (or if it is, it's a completely made up name). 

You need to first, stop acting like a victim in this case.  Your friend had no idea that she was choosing the same name as you.  It's not her fault.  Being "genuinely concerned about my friendship with this person" is childish.  She didn't know.  She didn't do anything wrong (and even if she did know your baby name choice, no one owns a name). 

You have two choices - use the name, or pick another name.  If you use the name, you need to have a heart to heart with your friend and explain the situation.  But don't tell her you're upset about the situation - just explain the situation and how much the name has meant to you all this time, how it's been attached to your LO already.  I don't know your friend or how she will react.  But maybe your girls will grow up together as the two [INSERT NAME HERE] and will think its cute to have the same name. 

If you pick a different name, I think there's no need to talk to your friend about the situation - at least not now.  Don't stress her out with drama that was not her doing. Maybe someday, once your LO is here and you love the other name you picked, you can tell her the story about she chose the same baby name as you, and you can laugh about it.  But you're clearly emotional about it now, so it is not the time to involve your friend. 

ashiscute

I agree about paragraphs.  That was hard to get through. 

I think you need to get the idea of "name stealing" out of your head.  People cannot steal names from one another.  Especially if they never knew that name was being used by someone else.  I think you are allowing yourself to be upset because you are acting as if something was taken from you versus an unfortunate coincidence.  If you don't get over that part you will have a hard time either picking a new name or continuing with the original choice.  And please do not let a name affect your friendship with someone.  

If you love the name then use it.  I shared my name with lots of kids growing up and I don't feel my name is tainted.  If it bothers you that much then pick a different name.   I don't believe in the whole idea of "the name" but then I've never picked a name before my kids were born.  And next time don't keep the super special name a secret.

munchiemama104

it is not a big deal. My name is super popular and I went to HS with 14 other girls with it. I lived in a tiny town, so there was always another one in my class. I have a friend named Bliss, her BFF is also named Bliss. Talk about a weird coincidence, but they say part of the reason they are friends is because they can relate to having such an unusual name. Just relax and take it as a compliment that you picked a nice name. 

allrightmeow

There is no other choice but to kill her.  THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! 

allrightmeow

megrobsonx said:

I would be frustrated as well, however it was a risk that you took by keeping the name a secret. My partner has said since he was young that he wanted to name his first son after his grandad, if someone else close to me was to chose the same name I would think that it sucks but it wouldn't make me change the name because that's the name I've imagined since the ultrasound and become attached to. If I were in your situation I would probably 1st - calm down! 2nd - speak to your friend and say how surprised you were about the name because that's what you chose months ago, explain the story to her about how you came about choosing the name etc and if she says that you shouldn't go ahead and call your child that then maybe you shouldn't be friends with someone like that... Which might work out nice for you because at least then your child and hers won't spend too much time together! 3rd - don't worry about what others think, it's just a coincident, you haven't stole the fetus out of her womb you simply have both picked a name that you both like. And as for the social media aspect, I can't even.

 Say what!  Neither one of them owns the name.  Her friend didn't "steal" it.   She doesn't need to go ask her permission to use the name. The friend should be the one concerned with who she is friends with.  If I found out a friend went online and went on a rant like this because I picked a name I liked having no clue she liked it too, Id sideeye the shit out of her.  

OP any chance you are going to tell us what this super special name is?

girlnextdoornco

I like what megrobsonx posted..I think it's wise advise.

jcrising

No matter how unique you think your name is, I guarantee there is some other child with the same name.  And really, who cares if more than one person has your name.  If you love it, use it.  She will be the one freaking out, and again, who cares?  This is a very small problem.  I know you are upset, but you should use the name if you love it, or pick another if you want to be unique.  It is that simple.  Relax, and get ready for the ride of your life with your amazing little girl!

notreal2

Is it Sophia? I bet it's Sophia.  It's Sophia, isn't it?

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AthenaNabi

A little over dramatic. People can't stop crying when they find out their baby is going to have some horrible medical issue. Name drama? Not so much. 

If you like the name, use the name. You might not even be friends with this chic in a few years and your kids might never even spend any time together.

Either way, either use the name or don't, but chill out!

Serunatu

You'll feel better if you just tell us the name....

allrightmeow

Aww man a DD.   Now we'll never know the super special unique name!  

serenbach

allrightmeow said:

megrobsonx said:

I would be frustrated as well, however it was a risk that you took by keeping the name a secret. My partner has said since he was young that he wanted to name his first son after his grandad, if someone else close to me was to chose the same name I would think that it sucks but it wouldn't make me change the name because that's the name I've imagined since the ultrasound and become attached to.

If I were in your situation I would probably

1st - calm down!
2nd - speak to your friend and say how surprised you were about the name because that's what you chose months ago, explain the story to her about how you came about choosing the name etc and if she says that you shouldn't go ahead and call your child that then maybe you shouldn't be friends with someone like that... Which might work out nice for you because at least then your child and hers won't spend too much time together!
3rd - don't worry about what others think, it's just a coincident, you haven't stole the fetus out of her womb you simply have both picked a name that you both like. And as for the social media aspect, I can't even.

 Say what!  Neither one of them owns the name.  Her friend didn't "steal" it.   She doesn't need to go ask her permission to use the name. The friend should be the one concerned with who she is friends with.  If I found out a friend went online and went on a rant like this because I picked a name I liked having no clue she liked it too, Id sideeye the shit out of her.  

OP any chance you are going to tell us what this super special name is?

Umm i haven't suggested any stealing/owning of unborn babies names, I just said that it was just a coincidence and depending on the level of friendship I'd probably have a conversation with the friend about it if she was a close friend. Hopefully laugh about what great taste we both have then call my baby whatever I wanted, not ask for permission (which I never suggested).

But anyway it was an over the top rant/question, hence why my first bit if advice was to calm down.

allrightmeow

megrobsonx said:

megrobsonx said:

I would be frustrated as well, however it was a risk that you took by keeping the name a secret. My partner has said since he was young that he wanted to name his first son after his grandad, if someone else close to me was to chose the same name I would think that it sucks but it wouldn't make me change the name because that's the name I've imagined since the ultrasound and become attached to. If I were in your situation I would probably 1st - calm down! 2nd - speak to your friend and say how surprised you were about the name because that's what you chose months ago, explain the story to her about how you came about choosing the name etc and if she says that you shouldn't go ahead and call your child that then maybe you shouldn't be friends with someone like that... Which might work out nice for you because at least then your child and hers won't spend too much time together! 3rd - don't worry about what others think, it's just a coincident, you haven't stole the fetus out of her womb you simply have both picked a name that you both like. And as for the social media aspect, I can't even.

 Say what!  Neither one of them owns the name.  Her friend didn't "steal" it.   She doesn't need to go ask her permission to use the name. The friend should be the one concerned with who she is friends with.  If I found out a friend went online and went on a rant like this because I picked a name I liked having no clue she liked it too, Id sideeye the shit out of her.  

OP any chance you are going to tell us what this super special name is?

Umm i haven't suggested any stealing/owning of unborn babies names, I just said that it was just a coincidence and depending on the level of friendship I'd probably have a conversation with the friend about it if she was a close friend. Hopefully laugh about what great taste we both have then call my baby whatever I wanted, not ask for permission (which I never suggested). But anyway it was an over the top rant/question, hence why my first bit if advice was to calm down.

"explain the story to her about how you came about choosing the name etc and she says that you shouldn't go ahead and call your child that then maybe you shouldn't be friends with someone like that.. "  

That's kind of feeding into her over reaction.  Why should she go over there and explain how they came about choosing the name?  To what end? OP would totally do it in hopes that her friend will say "OMG Im so sorry.  We won't use it since it was your super special secret name first".  It was the "not being friends with someone like that" that gave me a case of the ewws. And I wasn't saying you said stolen.  OP did. 

serenbach

I get what you're saying, honestly I agree with you!

My trail of thought was more along the lines that the friend of OP sounds like the sort of person to lose her shit over it after having a big gender/name reveal party and having a social media outbreak of this magical name.

I just know if it was one of my close friends I'd have a casual conversation about it when I next saw her (not setting up a specific meeting to go round hers to fight to the death over ownership of the name) and hope that she didn't get protective over the name and that we'd both laugh about having daughters with the same name!

OP ran away and took the magical name with her anyway so now we'll never know (

suncake

Awwww no fun. OP come back. What's the name!!

allrightmeow

She used her real name.  Quick, someone friend her on FB and ask her! 

sheluvs2travel

Sorry this happened to you.  If this was a name that you had already told your friend about, and she never mentioned wanting to use the same name, I would honestly no longer consider that person a friend.  Friends don't do that to each other.  

If you have your heart set on that name, I'd go ahead and use it as planned!

kaseyelliott22

I feel like alot of these responses are a little harsh. I understand she is upset and i understand she is over the top by being so upset, but i went through names and names for my little boy... Only because i didnt want some one close to me with a child with the same name. I dont want to have a play date with two little babies with the same name so i understand where she is coming from. Give her a little break she is pregnant and needs positivity not people downing her due to how she is feeling. This is a place to rant correct... a place to get advice?

Manateearmz

sheluvs2travel said:

Sorry this happened to you.  If this was a name that you had already told your friend about, and she never mentioned wanting to use the same name, I would honestly no longer consider that person a friend.  Friends don't do that to each other.  

If you have your heart set on that name, I'd go ahead and use it as planned!

Really? Maybe I place to much value in my friendships but it's not like they're "stealing" a name that was copywritten by the parents. They're not stealing the baby or their special snowflake personality. It is a NAME. Who gives a flying fuck how many people have it? Don't name your kid any name within the top 1,000 if it is something to lose a friendship over.

Oh and OP didn't disclose her name to the friend. She got all hurt over her unvoiced name choice.

2goingon3

K, I facebook creeped, pretty sure I found the friend, but the profile is private so all you can see is a few profile pics, no comments

I really wanna know!!!!

allrightmeow

sheluvs2travel said:

Sorry this happened to you.  If this was a name that you had already told your friend about, and she never mentioned wanting to use the same name, I would honestly no longer consider that person a friend.  Friends don't do that to each other.  

If you have your heart set on that name, I'd go ahead and use it as planned!

So what you're saying is you didn't bother to read OPs post.  K. 

ghostof5letters

kaseyelliott22 said:

. I dont want to have a play date with two little babies with the same name so i understand where she is coming from. 

ADC1979

Is it Meg?  I hope it's Meg.

2goingon3

cko521 said:

2goingon3 said:

K, I facebook creeped, pretty sure I found the friend, but the profile is private so all you can see is a few profile pics, no comments

I really wanna know!!!!

Send a friend request! Maybe she'll accept without thinking and you'll see the SS name. Or don't. That might be too stalkerish. I sometimes forget about boundaries and stuff.

Don't think I didn't think about it.....but yeah, pulled myself together and realized how creepy that would be

Nichole8787

It's Charlie. I bet you anything it's Charlie

lneice0160

Really!?!?!! WTF? I feel retarded now BC I just read all of thisand she never said the name! Its killing me now

Manateearmz

Idani said:

@lneice0160‌ the R word is completely offensive and ignorant to use.

Agreed!

@lneice0160‌ I would edit your post and change your wording before this post becomes about you.

I would also recommend editing your vocabulary to remove that word from it entirely.

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yvanehtnioj

So much stupid drama. Can you imagine what it would be like to be friends with OP? Your brain would literally melt as she prattled on about literally everything.

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ghostof5letters

It's obvious that OP is Mila and her "friend" is Tiger Wood's mistress and the name is Wyatt. Duh!

Maybe I read too much TMZ

kaseyelliott22

I never said i didnt want my child to play with a kid who has the same name. I just chose my sons name because i do not know anyone with a child with the same name. I loved plenty of names, but my closer friends or family members had the same or similar name. 

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