On today's episode of "you know you're pregnant when..."

leoandethansmom

....You are doing the laundry and while checking your pockets you find an uneaten piece of chocolate still in the wrapper.

jennielee123

Did you eat it when you found it? If you did, then THAT'S when you know you are pregnant.

leoandethansmom

Ummmmm duh! What was I going to do, throw it away?! Hell no.

Manateearmz

Pocket chocolate is the best!

agsgrrl

You're plotting on how to tame your bush 3 days before your next appt.

smack427

You try to adjust your seatbelt to be safer but it won't stay down anymore because your bump is massive.

Tarene

you know you're pregnant when...you stretch up/laugh/sneeze/blink too too forcefully & you know you've peed yourself just a tiny bit.

Shortstack06

This may go with UO thusday but... you stop drinking caffiene because you get the shit kicked out of you at night

nextworldwonder

Shortstack06 said:

This may go with UO thusday but... you stop drinking caffiene because you get the shit kicked out of you at night

this

kutenpretti

You paint your toes and it looks like a three year old art project! Time to go to the professionals!

BayCamp

I can no longer reach the bottom of the washer when I'm doing laundry. I had to have DH come in to rescue the last few remaining socks.

kimba1976

While playing with your daughter in the swimming pool, you get stuck in an inner tube and have to let air out to get it off. 

ambernjj

You have two, or more, breakfasts and still planning on having lunch.

ladybug480

Bathroom stalls are my new nemesis. Were they always so small? Plus with my increasingly tiny bladder, I'm inside one practically all day long.  I probably hit myself with the door a dozen times a day.

PacoCat33

Every time you roll over in your sleep,  you wake up and have to completely sit up to hoist yourself over and then think, while I'm up, I may as well pee. 

SeeRealSky

When washing dishes suddenly becomes a contact sport between counter and bump.

Apologies, baby. Mama's gotta lean.

allfalldown14

You know you're pregnant when....all the receptionists at your doctor's office know you and you just waddle in and they nod and say "hey baby(I look 16) go on and have a seat" without having to ask your name or any other normal doctor's office questions. 

Mousy345

SeeRealSky said:

When washing dishes suddenly becomes a contact sport between counter and bump.

Apologies, baby. Mama's gotta lean.

This.

devinefisch

PacoCat33 said:

Every time you roll over in your sleep,  you wake up and have to completely sit up to hoist yourself over and then think, while I'm up, I may as well pee. 

Almost every night!

CandaceC1020

ladybug480 said:

Bathroom stalls are my new nemesis. Were they always so small? Plus with my increasingly tiny bladder, I'm inside one practically all day long.  I probably hit myself with the door a dozen times a day.

Truth.  I've started using the handicapped stalls and I don't even think twice about it. 

abcmom12

when you can no longer walk really fast to take DD to the restroom without becoming winded and need leverage on BOTH sides now to get up from the floor

ThePregosaurus

You cry when DH eats something you reeaaally want or can't have. (DH had a piece of an Italian combo sub from work the other night but it had been sitting out all day so I didn't trust it. I just wanted salami! I couldn't even help the tears.)

jayellekay

You spend about half a second plotting how you can get to Little Caesar's for a hot-n-ready cheese pizza at 9 pm, when 3-year-old DD is already asleep and DH is working late at the office. You quickly realize it ain't happening, and then want to cry because you can't satisfy your craving.

jayellekay

MissChristineMarie said:

jayellekay said:

You spend about half a second plotting how you can get to Little Caesar's for a hot-n-ready cheese pizza at 9 pm, when 3-year-old DD is already asleep and DH is working late at the office. You quickly realize it ain't happening, and then want to cry because you can't satisfy your craving.

I wonder... do they deliver hot-n-ready pizzas?

Our Little Caesar's doesn't deliver at all! Booo. And no other pizza would do the other night, nevermind the 4-5 delivery places we do have. Haha.

nopegoat

You stop food from falling on the floor with your belly and you get damn good at it.

LeviJeans

Hufflepuff42 said:

kdm06c said:

You stop food from falling on the floor with your belly and you get damn good at it.

Corollary: Your clothed boobs and belly are also very good at catching random drops of sauce/frosting... even if you don't want them to.

But when things do manage to fall/drop past the boobs/bump, you just look at it on the floor, say fuck it, and walk away. Not worth the bend at this time

bowlwoman

Hufflepuff42 said:

This may go with UO thusday but... you stop drinking caffiene because you get the shit kicked out of you at night

See also: (Not GD) You want all to nom all the sweets but stop yourself knowing the LO will keep kicking and kicking and kicking...

LOL. You're GD and you want all the sweets but you stop yourself knowing that you don't want another lecture from the doctor because your after dinner number was already one point too high from that crumb of corn chip you accidentally inhaled from the kids' lunchboxes as you were cleaning them out.

Also, you wake up at 6:30 to get the kids ready for school, then when DH takes them off at 7:30 you fall back asleep on the couch until 11. I may or may not do this on a weekly basis.

kimba1976

LeviJeans said:

kdm06c said:

You stop food from falling on the floor with your belly and you get damn good at it.

Corollary: Your clothed boobs and belly are also very good at catching random drops of sauce/frosting... even if you don't want them to.

But when things do manage to fall/drop past the boobs/bump, you just look at it on the floor, say fuck it, and walk away. Not worth the bend at this time

Or you call the dog over. After all, the little moocher needs to earn his keep. 

ColeyCannoli

When food that people recommend for heartburn is the cause of your heartburn to start with. Oh? Just eat some bread and drink some milk? That should counteract the acid reflux caused by my morning cereal, thanks. My heartburn has heartburn.

bowlwoman

ColeyCannoli said:

When food that people recommend for heartburn is the cause of your heartburn to start with. Oh? Just eat some bread and drink some milk? That should counteract the acid reflux caused by my morning cereal, thanks. My heartburn has heartburn.

Prilosec and baking soda dissolved in water. Either works wonders for me.

leoandethansmom

@ColeyCannoli I'm loling at my heartburn has heartburn. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing because I'm in the exact same boat.

leoandethansmom

My bump has knocked over a picture frame on my desk twice today. Twice! Which then knocks over the salt shaker and paperclips in a domino effect. (Yes, I keep salt on my desk)

agsgrrl

I've got another. When scraping the leakage crust off your nipples before you get in the shower has become part of your morning routine.

ambernjj

agsgrrl said:

I've got another. When scraping the leakage crust off your nipples before you get in the shower has become part of your morning routine.

This. Also, I am so glad I am not the only one. My DH walked in on me doing this and just kind of made a "WTH did I just see" face, and walked right back out.

Shortstack06

agsgrrl said:

I've got another. When scraping the leakage crust off your nipples before you get in the shower has become part of your morning routine.

This scares me. Like I don't even know what to make of this.

agsgrrl

Shortstack06 said:

agsgrrl said:

I've got another. When scraping the leakage crust off your nipples before you get in the shower has become part of your morning routine.

This scares me. Like I don't even know what to make of this.

No leakage yet?

smack427

When your DH shaves you because you can't see or reach anything below your belly button.

leoandethansmom

MJLovey said:

When you reach for a glass/plate/dish in a kitchen cabinet and your bump touches the countertop and gets in the way.  

This! I swear my countertops are out to get me.

BayCamp

When I just popped 2 tums while catching up on this thread....

jennielee123

Your ribs ache. All. The. Time.

allfalldown14

...you go through your underwear drawer separating "granny like undies that still fit my larger than life ass" from "cute little things that I may or may not ever be able to get past my thighs again".