Babies on the Brain

Intro and a question

Hi Everyone!

My husband and I have decided to start TTC our first child this November (so excited)!!  We have been married for 4 years now so we are constantly asked when we are going to start our family.  Some family members know we are planning to start trying this fall but we have not told them any specifics. 

My question for all of you is:  They are already asking me "Did you get your IUD out yet"? almost weekly.  I just keep saying not yet as my husband and I decided we would keep it to ourselves when we do get pregnant for at least 8 - 10 weeks (ill probably tell my mom sooner but that's it). I don't want "Did you get your IUD out yet"?  to turn into "Are you guys pregnant yet?" and  I am not good at fibbing, never mind fibbing on the spot, how do I answer these pesky relatives without making them feel like I am blowing them off? Or making them suspicious and asking more questions? Its specifically my sister in law and mother in law bugging me....

Thanks in advance!

Heather


Re: Intro and a question

  • Monicagail1Monicagail1 member
    edited September 2014

    Personally, I think it's weird for someone to ask you if you've had your IUD out.  I would just say no, not yet.  And then maybe ask them if they'd like to do it for you, lol.  Maybe they'll stop asking then.

     

    ETA: or you could use my real life story, which is that my OB coudn't get the IUD out.  It had migrated from my cervix area to somewhere else in my ute.  It took 2 visits (spaced almost 6 weeks apart :() and help via a ultrasound to finally get it out.

    Love: 8.10.99
    Marriage: 12.18.04
    DD1: 5.19.10
    DD2: 4.11.12
    #3 EDD 4.23.16

  • I have to agree with PPs. I know I am guilty of asking people personal questions like that. However, I limit it to people I am actually close to. For instance, I can have those conversations with my best friend and I currently have those conversations with my SIL, but they are almost always the instigators of the conversations.

    Also in agreement with PP I think you should just tell them you aren't comfortable having this conversation with them. Personally, if I do not want to have the conversation with a certain person I just give a general "no more kids" (not true) or "we'll see"

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • I have to agree with PPs i would say not yet. And try to give them a hint that its personal between your DH and yourself. Like cut the answer short "well see" was a great example from PP and they should get that u dont want to talk about it. Also you can try to change the conversation..

    Personally when that happens to me i joke around about it. I get asked when the 2nd baby is coming. And I answer them "as soon as DD turns 18 so i dont feel lonely" lol and other jokes too.
  • I think it's sort of weird that your family members know your prefered method of birth control, frankly.

    That aside, unfortunately, since you have decided to tell them your TTC timeline, the questions seem only natural.  Other than saying "when there is something to tell, you will be amongst the first to know" I am not sure I have much advice.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

  • I agree that sharing my preferred form of birth control is not something I want to do with my family, but hey, to each their own.  You're starting to experience, however, the consequences of sharing details even with those near and dear to you.

    A nice response to questions about your IUD, your uterus in general, and anything else to do with possible procreation is a smile and "We'll let you know when we have something we want to share."  If your family persists in personal questions, I love Miss Manner's suggested response: "That's such a personal question, why do you ask?"
  • Thanks all.  DH and I have always been very open and honest with our families because we are close with them.  It has always been normal for us girls to sit around and talk birth control preferences/experiences or future family plans. DH and I talked recently and decided that this was something we wanted to have to ourselves.  So again, your right I am dealing with the consequences of that openness.  I'm so used to sharing everything that I'm just not sure how to deal with getting a little privacy and having people respect it!

    Mostly I have been avoiding my SIL and only talking with her via text.  We have always been very close and I know she doesn't understand why I've been so absent lately.  Looks like I'm going to come right out and tell her to back off.

    I am loving the "we'll see" and "when there's something to tell  you'll be amongst the first to know"  so thank you for that.

    Heather

  • First off your family knows you have an IUD? my family and I are close but my birthcontrol is not something we regularly discuss...

  • I get similar questions on an almost daily basis from family, friends and coworkers.  My general way of handling it is to just laugh and say that we are thinking more seriously about children and that everything will come about soon enough.  Much like you, I am really open with family and some close friends, but we want to keep TTC between my DH and me.  We are planning to start TTC in November as well.  Anyone that has any idea that we are getting close to TTC is constantly asking questions, and I just laugh them off without over sharing.  It is really difficult to for me to lie/fib as well so I am just really vague with my answers.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"