An intro I didn't want to make

SeaParrot · September 2014

Hi TTCAL. I'm new to The Bump, but came here first for a birth club. Since I'm now here, I'm sure you can guess why. I have lost five pregnancies now; 4 at 5w or less, including this one (somewhere around 5w anyway), one at 8w. Also lost baby B of a twin pregnancy at 7w in 2010. It wasn't bothering me so much last night, since I'd been trying to not let myself get too excited. But today, I am just so, so sad I can barely describe it. We were discussing pregnancy physiology in one of my classes (I'm a university student) and I had to leave. I just can't handle it right now. I'm surprised by how emotional this loss is for me. Probably because there's no possibility of me seeing an RE or even an OB. The OB/Gyns here won't see women for non-pregnancy/non-urgent things due to overload, so I can't even go see mine to talk about clomid again. But I'd be seeing him soon if I were still pregnant. But I'm not, and the fact that I can't even go see my damn doctor to discuss this is another reminder. Our only fertility specialist in this region left two months ago, so it feels like the ship has sailed and any hope of any medical assistance is out the window. I'm just a huge mixed bag of crap right now and I just can't sort through it all. It just hurts that my uterus won't cooperate. I hope I can find some peace here.

CandST2014 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope you find some support here. Are you able to change doctors? That seems absolutely ridiculous that you can't get in to see a doctor. I would also think after repeated loss, you would be referred to a specialists. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that right now. (((Hugs)))

beemaya83 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. I agree with the previous posts. Take care of yourself and welcome to the board!

meredithcarole · September 2014

So sorry for your losses. Are you in Canada? Would you be willing/able to travel to see an RE?

SeaParrot · September 2014

There isn't a specialist in my entire province. I mean that literally. There was one but she left in July. When I say 'the OBs here' I mean all of them, not just at the office I went to. My province's entire population is less than a small city, so we don't have much. Yes, I'm in Canada (that's probably apparent now) in the Maritimes. The closest RE is in Halifax. I could get a referral and see them for a consult, but that takes a long time. As I'm young (late 20s), they won't see me for at lest a year of TTC anyway, even with confirmed PCOS.

rslh10 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. Welcome to the board. I hope someone here can offer a suggestion to you that will be helpful. ((Hugs))

Elliecat17 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself here. Please be gentle with yourself and take time to heal. I hope that you figure out the doctor/health services problem soon. This is a great place to be, even if we all have ended up here because of not so happy reasons. ((hugs))

stinybean · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses and the medical frustrations. Many (HUGS) & welcome to the board.

cbmikk · September 2014

I can't imagine your pain. I could only imagine the unanswered questions in your mind of why? Keep your head up. As hard as it may be don't let yourself get defeated. (Hugs)

jms627 · September 2014

So, so sorry for your losses. I hope this board gives you some comfort and support.

mflowers929 · September 2014

*big hugs* I'm in NB, so I feel you. I'm lucky-ish in that I'm only about an hour and a half from Halifax, so if I ever needed to see the RE it wouldn't be THAT big of a deal, but still, nobody wants to have to go that length just to see a doctor.