Really long intro (*~siggy warning~*)

alexkylee

DH and I decided to go with the NTNP method in July and got pregnant on the first try. We struggled with infertility for our DD so getting pregnant on the first try was unbelievable. I started spotting last Thursday (9w5d) and called the OB. They told me to drink fluids, stay off my feet and call back if it got worse and they would do an u/s. It got better that night, but was worse the next morning. I called Friday and the nurse told me they would do betas. I was in beta hell all weekend. Monday morning I went to the medical records department (I work in the hospital where I get lab work done). I requested my lab records and saw that my levels were going down. I prepared myself for the OB's call...which didn't happen until 515 that night. My OB's nurse said they still wanted me to do my first u/s the next day. When I went to the u/s the tech (who I know) excitedly asked me if I was ready. I got teary-eyed and explained my symptoms and my decreasing levels and told her we weren't going to see anything on the screen. She asked if I wanted my screen turned off and I said yes. The only thing I asked her was "I'm not measuring where I'm supposed to, am I?" The tech said, very sadly, "No." My OB wasn't supposed to be in the office that day, but just so happened to be. He saw me right away and was so understanding. I was able to get my D&C scheduled for the next day (9/17). The whole procedure went smoothly and I haven't had any pain since I left the hospital. DH told me that after the procedure my OB talked with him while I was in recovery. My OB apologized that the whole situation was poorly handled by his staff (I was bleeding for 6 days before I saw him). I feel better now that the D&C is over. There was so much anticipation for my u/s, but then all the worry when I started bleeding. I'm just glad to be off the rollercoaster for now. DH and I can't wait to start TTC again, but my OB wants me to wait three months.

I never thought "why is God doing this to me" or "this isn't fair." I know these things happen. What made me sad were all the plans and dreams we had made for our baby and in a flash they were gone. The "what-could-have-been" thoughts are the worst. I just keep tell DH, "this whole thing f*cking sucks."

The next few weeks will be rough for me. DH's brother and wife just had a baby and we are supposed to go visit this weekend. Then, in three weeks I'm hosting my sister's baby shower.

Sorry for the long intro, but thanks for reading. Feels good to get it out.

meredithcarole

So sorry for your loss

KingLED

I'm so sorry for your loss.

follourdestiny

I'm so sorry. I had the same procedure yesterday with multiple baby showers approaching and a SIL who's EDD was 4 days after mine. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Our ob said we could wait one cycle and TTC again but emotionally I don't think we're going to be ready for that. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat.

flyoffeve

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have been cursing and bsc for the past few days really about anything, but it includes saying "this fucking sucks" because it does.

ctk181

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know all too well the emotions you are feeling right now. The minute you know you are pregnant you start making plans for your future child. It is so heartbreaking to that child. Take care of yourself and feel free to PM if you ever need to talk. ((Hugs))