Sex versus gender, and why it really does matter

beatlesgal4

I will as well- they may say no, but it certainly can't hurt anything! I don't mind "taking up my time" on this pertinent issue.  

ruemorgan

sellers7 said:

Have we become so darn politically correct that we are actually concerned about this? Let me tell you, ladies, (and it's not just the hormones talking) we need to find more pertinent issues to take up our time. This post makes it so clear that we are entirely way too concerned about social qualms rather than issues against the human race. SAD.

kellbell1982

@carmar3 why no avatar? You really should pick one otherwise when you love tit something we can't tell who you are and you will be forever looking like a newb

kellbell1982

Carmar3 said:

I don't know how to change it or how to tag someone lame I know! Care to educate me?

To tag someone simply type an @ and then the screen name and it will do the highlighting automatically. For the avatar and siggy just click on the new here thread and it will take you to the blog where they teach you how to do both really easily. I can't remember how I did my avatar that's why I recommend you look there but I recall it being simple. I hope you didn't take offense to my post I just wanted to let you know that it was confusing to me and I'm sure others when we can't tell who you are in love tits

kellbell1982

earthian said:

Carmar3 said:

When I created my bump account I never uploaded anything. I'd love an avatar but not sure where to start. I don't have Facebook, too many crazies on there!

I always recognized you because the Bump generated ones I've seen always look like pregnant ladies with bumps that are colorful. Lol.

The only way I know of to change it is on a PC, you go to your account and there is somewhere to load one. There might be a mobile way to but I don't know of it, i bet someone here does though!

There definitely is a mobile way cause I have an avatar and a siggy and I've never used anything but mobile

kellbell1982

Carmar3 said:

Siggy and click? Is that an autocorrect fail or am I missing something?

I had to edit it but it's fixed now if you look back at it

kellbell1982

Carmar3 said:

So I attempted to change my avatar on the website but it's not showing here WTF? Oh well maybe tomorrow.

I see it and it looks great good choice for pic

kaydedid

Truly, if you believe that sex and gender are the same thing (as I do), why on Earth would you choose the word that some find offensive over the one that everyone is ok with?

Of course, offending people does work REALLY well to make them see the errors of their ways and the right of yours *sarcasm*.

Skrittens

kaydedid said:

Truly, if you believe that sex and gender are the same thing (as I do), why on Earth would you choose the word that some find offensive over the one that everyone is ok with?

Of course, offending people does work REALLY well to make them see the errors of their ways and the right of yours *sarcasm*.

The whole point of this post is to address the difference between sex and gender. This original post describes the difference in an objective and informative manner.

What word do some people find offensive?

thejucheidea

kaydedid said:

Truly, if you believe that sex and gender are the same thing (as I do), why on Earth would you choose the word that some find offensive over the one that everyone is ok with? Of course, offending people does work REALLY well to make them see the errors of their ways and the right of yours *sarcasm*.

Wait.

Are you saying that you don't like the word 'sex' and therefore want to use 'gender' in place of sex because sex is an icky word?

Because that's how childish you're sounding to me right now.

kaydedid

@skrittens and @thejucheidea‌ I was advocating for using 'sex', not 'gender', to refer to male or female anatomy. My earlier post was worded very awkardly, sorry about that.
Also, I don't believe that sex and gender mean the same exact thing (physiological vs. Psychological/sociological) just that they should match (both male or female). I absolutely respect people with different beliefs/viewpoints, so I was advocating for being kind and respecting everyone, and using 'sex' in these situations. I'm sorry that it came across wrong!

stine28

kaydedid said:

@skrittens and @thejucheidea‌ I was advocating for using 'sex', not 'gender', to refer to male or female anatomy. My earlier post was worded very awkardly, sorry about that.
Also, I don't believe that sex and gender mean the same exact thing (physiological vs. Psychological/sociological) just that they should match (both male or female). I absolutely respect people with different beliefs/viewpoints, so I was advocating for being kind and respecting everyone, and using 'sex' in these situations. I'm sorry that it came across wrong!

Wait, what? Like you think that a person's gender ought to match their sex? (Probably true, in a scientific sense...) Or are you saying that you don't believe people when they say that their gender does not match their sex. If it's the latter, I don't know what to say. How kind of you to use the word sex, just to keep us heathens happy....

jvdurant

jessuhmarie said:

stine28 said:

kaydedid said:

@skrittens and @thejucheidea‌ I was advocating for using 'sex', not 'gender', to refer to male or female anatomy. My earlier post was worded very awkardly, sorry about that.
Also, I don't believe that sex and gender mean the same exact thing (physiological vs. Psychological/sociological) just that they should match (both male or female). I absolutely respect people with different beliefs/viewpoints, so I was advocating for being kind and respecting everyone, and using 'sex' in these situations. I'm sorry that it came across wrong!

Wait, what? Like you think that a person's gender ought to match their sex? (Probably true, in a scientific sense...) Or are you saying that you don't believe people when they say that their gender does not match their sex. If it's the latter, I don't know what to say. How kind of you to use the word sex, just to keep us heathens happy....

Yeah, I'm really confused if you are some kind of backwards idiot, why you would admit it on a thread like this, @kaydedid‌

edwa5733

I'm sorry but I can't believe there is so much discussion on this. This is just stupid. Who cares? This is to nitpicky....

Lark425

edwa5733 said:

I'm sorry but I can't believe there is so much discussion on this. This is just stupid. Who cares? This is to nitpicky....

I'm sad for you

Unknown

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stine28

edwa5733 said:

I'm sorry but I can't believe there is so much discussion on this. This is just stupid. Who cares? This is to nitpicky....

1) No, you're not sorry. Don't fucking lie.

2) You should really come up with a new username. Without even trying, I know your full name and about your weight loss journey.

lawsonellis

Update!

I sent the following to all 3 contacts that were given to me by @beatlesgal4:

"I have been active on the Bump for a few months now, and I love the many helpful articles and tools that you all provide for expectant mothers!

I do have some feedback that I think would greatly improve the quality and sensitivity of the site, however.

I've noticed that many writers and/or articles use the words "sex" and "gender" interchangeably.

This can come off as offensive to those women who identify with a non-traditional gender role. 

We several first time mothers on the site who may be ignorant of the difference, and then come to the forums to post about their baby's "genders" and offend several of the other members on the forum. 

It's just a friendly suggestion, and I think it would make the site a much more welcoming environment.

Let me know what you think!

Thanks again,

Deidre"

I'll let you know what they say! (If anything)

Unknown

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thejucheidea

I seriously adore how strongly people feel about sex v. gender on here. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

edwa5733

You girls are funny. If someone doesn't agree with you, they're stupid and ignorant. So I'm the jerk here, huh? I've seen many of you girls act like complete bitchy fools on here. But, whatever, I really don't care anymore. @stine28‌ ...stalk much?

transplantedhawkeye

kaydedidedwa5733

goofygoff

Jesus. Do I have to pull out the goddamn bingo card in an informational thread?

edwa5733

@carmar3 ... I think that is a fair thing to say, and for that I am sorry..really. I do see that I may have been a bit offensive, so I'm sorry. But honestly, I don't see the big deal about using sex or gender. I am just shocked about all of the discussion on this. We all use plenty of words that have other meanings. Like...bitch, or retarded. (As offensive word misuse examples) Am I going to correct every single misused word? ...no. we all know what everyone means and it seems silly to constantly correct people for a widely used word....even by doctors.

Guess I should have maybe said this instead of my other post first so I didn't piss so many ppl off. But I'm sure this post will anyway.

@CityBee‌ ...could you please point me in the right direction where the bump has the required minimum posts to participate so I can make sure to oblige to this. Thanks

goofygoff

Willful ignorance is the worst ignorance.

beatlesgal4

@edwa5733 Actually many women on this thread have corrected people who have used retarded to mean something is negative, etc. It is just as offensive and inaccurate. Same with using gay to mean something negative.

edwa5733

@ citybee I have no problem being grouped in an avatarless group. That is just hilarious. I didn't know it was so important. Lol... And apparently you do care how many posts I have since you seen so adamant about saying so on your previous post.

Ok, sorry to the other girls, I'm done now. Don't want to hijack the posts for silly arguments. Let's just agree to disagree, k? I apologize again and I'm done thanks.

Ashlee692

I get this completely , but someone needs to change this-

Which is on the bump app in reference to finding out the sex and doing an anatomy scan at week 20.

lawsonellis

@Ashlee692 I've already emailed several contacts at The Bump to get posts like the one you've shown changed.

It's a small step, and may not happen immediately, but the more we ask, the more it will get recognized.

janda426

Oh my god how is this an argument ?!?! How????

Whitfry

This thread is hurting my heart. I can't believe how willfully ignorant people are choosing to be.

I guess if it's appropriate to use gender instead of sex, it's also appropriate to use any racial slurs that may come to mind as well. Because it's all equally hurtful and stupid.

YorkieLove4

Look all you argumentative random peeps. This is a public forum, which you should behave as you would in a public setting, meaning with people you do not know. Walking around in public incorrectly using an offensive word be it gender, gay, retarded, and so on will put you in a position to get the stink eye. Luckily here, we are all willing to correct and educate people of their error. If this same situation happened in public, and you continued to use the word on purpose and argued that the people who reached out to you were ridiculous for being offended, what do you think would happen? You'd be ostracized and unwelcome. Do not expect any different when hiding behind a computer screen. We have real people here with real issues either personally or close to home. We are the good guys and will continue to shun the bad guys. Call us mean, rude, etc but it's simply not true.

Ashlee692

I will also point out the newsletter needs to be changed from gender to sex as well-

thejucheidea

edwa5733 said:

@carmar3 ... I think that is a fair thing to say, and for that I am sorry..really. I do see that I may have been a bit offensive, so I'm sorry. But honestly, I don't see the big deal about using sex or gender. I am just shocked about all of the discussion on this. We all use plenty of words that have other meanings. Like...bitch, or retarded. (As offensive word misuse examples) Am I going to correct every single misused word? ...no. we all know what everyone means and it seems silly to constantly correct people for a widely used word....even by doctors. Guess I should have maybe said this instead of my other post first so I didn't piss so many ppl off. But I'm sure this post will anyway. @CityBee‌ ...could you please point me in the right direction where the bump has the required minimum posts to participate so I can make sure to oblige to this. Thanks

Wait.

You actually use 'retarded'?

When I lived in Ghana, I worked at a school that still referred to children with intellectual disabilities as being 'retarded' and said as much on the sign for the school. After talking with the administration and explaining the changes in the vernacular, they ended up changing the name of the school to the location's 'special school', a change which I consider one of the biggest changes I've affected personally in my life.

If you actually, honestly, completely use 'retarded' as an insult, may jeebus have mercy on your soul.

beatlesgal4

@Ashlee692 I completely agree with you, and I will be writing a letter to TB as well, but you know that there's only so much we members can do, right? Your posts almost make it sound like you expect one of us to go in and change them. :P

Hopefully the letters make some sort of difference- we will see!

Ashlee692

I don't expect anyone to change them except the people that run the app and web site. I'm sorry if it came off that way, after reading this I started noticing it EVERYWHERE lol but I also thought that if people were reading the app that's probably where the confusion is coming from. No excuse now because of the thread but I was trying to figure out why it kept being miscommunicated.

corysgirls

Honestly, I'm "one of those people" who didn't know the difference. While I do have a few family members and friends who are homosexual, I don't (as far as I know) know anyone who has struggled with gender identity. I had no clue there was a difference. I have read most of the posts (took forever!) and have been informed now. One thing that does bother me is how fast people fly off the handle at others- whether it be on this subject or even others. I just don't think that telling someone to GTFO, F off, or other name calling really does much. And again, I'm not even just talking about this subject.
I do have a question, and this is an honest/not meaning to cause a shiz storm or whatever question-
When someon posted about doing a reveal party, she got *blasted* being called everything from selfish to basically feeding into the problem of gender vs sex. Personally I see no problem with using pink for a baby girl and blue for a baby boy. When my girls were babies, they wore pink but also many other colors. Same with my son. We bought toys that were targeted for girls because that's what they showed an interest in. When they wanted to play cars, they played cars. When our son wants to play with the tea set or his sister dolls, we see nothing wrong with that. But to tell someone that, and I'm summarizing, it's not ok to use girly things for baby girls and boyish things for baby boys because one day they may not identify with their born sex, is just as wrong.
Am I wrong on that? I am always ready and willing to be educated but, I along with most people, respond better to a gentle education rather than curse words and belittling, which I have seen quite a bit of. I'm hoping this doesn't start an ugly debate.

corysgirls

I have lurked for a while now, I joined when I found out I was pregnant back in June. I just normally randomly choose topics that pertain to me and my situation at the time. And for the record, it wasn't me making he offending post.

corysgirls

Holy crap- this has happened again! I had a nice long post and only part of it posted! What is wrong???

corysgirls

Haha! Maybe!