~~~ October Angel Mamas' Check-In 9/16/14 ~~~

meredithcarole

Welcome to the October Check-In. This check-in is for anyone who has had a loss with an EDD in October.  

 

Members, give us an update on how you are doing. If I didn’t tag you with specific questions, it’s only because we didn’t hear from you last week (or for a few weeks) - please jump back in. Please pop in and let us know how you’re doing even if you don’t have time to respond to everyone individually this week! New members, introduce yourself so that we can get to know you.

If you get a BFP, please PM me so everyone can congratulate you!

Question of the Week:

(This may be a sensitive subject, please feel free to opt out of answering if you are not able to)

What was your EDD in October and which idea did you like the best for a month board memorial? 

Some ideas that were thrown out were: donate to March of Dimes, release a balloon on a certain day, make a keepsake.

Feel free to give more ideas if you have thought of something inspiring.  We can also do a combination of things.

Quote of the Week: 

"Your absence has gone through me 

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color."

~ W.S. Merwin

----------------------

Updates:

@Stephy1221- How is AF?  I know you were feeling down last week, are you doing better?

@Denamaree- How's the 2WW going?

@Momentomori- How are you doing this week?  

@Yorkielove83- How are you this week?  Did the earlier O change the dates for your IF testing?

@daystardreams - What's new with you this week?

@cheesypeas - How is the 2WW going?

@caschlientz - How are you doing with the new house and everything?

@mkfish31 - How are you holding up?

@EJ83 - Did you decide on somewhere fun to go after your test next week?

meredithcarole

Hey there ladies!  I hope everyone is doing well this week.  AF is visiting me (hurray) so that is where I am.  Hopefully she packs up and leaves soon

DenaMaree

@meredithcarole‌ Isn't it crazy how excited we can get for AF to make appearances after a MC as we prepare for the time when we can be done burning the bench! Remind me, are you back to TTC? I am on CD21 and according to FF It seems to think I could have ovulated on Friday, but I haven't gotten a positive with OPK's. I am doing digital and Frer's and the digitals have never indicated a positive and the frer's have never made it to the same shade of the control line let alone gotten darker! I had two great follies at my CD16 check but the unknown is if the egg(s) ever dropped and I actually ever ovulated! I will do CD23 blood work on Thursday to see if I ovulated and how my progesterone is! If I haven't ovulated and I find out I am gearing up too still I will likely have to avoid as at this point with a 31 day cycle I would worry my luteul phase is too short and a break through period would cause a MC! In October we are Definitely doing the trigger at my CD16 appointment! We didn't this time because DH had a silly hunt that he was away at on CD17/CD18 so if it would have encouraged ovulation too soon we would have definitely missed it! I REALLY hoped I would O on CD19 as it would have been ideal with our crazy schedules! Next month our TTC is our top priority!! September has just been one of those months

[Deleted User]

@meredithcarole hope AF leaves soon, thanks for the check in!

I'm ok this week. Stupid FF moved my O date to CD21 then moved it back to CD17... IDK. This month is just crap, I'm pretty sure I'm out. DH has been working a lot and I've been battling a sinus infection so we kind of let this month go. 

Testing will happen whenever AF shows up. I'm just not sure about doing the HSG test. I'm having a hard time justifying the need/cost/effectiveness of it. When I asked if it was necessary I was told it's just one of the tests they do. DH and I have talked and think we want to wait, do the HSG in Jan, if we're still not PG. What do you all think?  

DenaMaree

@YorkieLove83 I have heard of many instances that the dye from the HSG can work in great ways to make you more fertile for up to six months after a HSG! We got pregnant three months after ours, but I also was on clomid so I don't think the HSG had anything to do with getting pregnant! It will definitely confirm if there is any blockage and supposedly has benefits of helping with fertility! With that being said January isn't very far away so continuing to try without it for a few months isn't a bad idea and you can always revisit the idea early next year! Good luck with the decision and hugs!!

daystardreams

@meredithcarole I'm with you on just sitting around waiting for my period to end.

@DenaMaree I remember how happy I was when my first post loss period came but now every month it seems my period hurts more and more emotionally anyway. I hope your CD 23 check goes well!

@YorkieLove83 I too have heard what DenaMaree mentioned about HSG helping boost fertility the first few months after it. I don't know how much truth there is in it but I think my answer depends on how long you have been trying and also your patience level. I'm very impatient and I think that because of that I would go for it just to see if it finds anything. However, two months isn't a lot of time so if you both are feeling like you want to wait then I don't see any harm in waiting either.

School started for us last week so it's been really crazy and hectic. I'm sure it was like this last year but it just seems so crazy after a nice calm summer!

My EDD was October 31st.

I think that there is a lot going on dealing with miscarriages in October because of the Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day on the 15th. I think that the most important thing we can do is make a list of our due dates so that we can offer support on those days. I'm so scared that nobody will remember that my baby was due next month. I'm scared that I'll be mourning alone and it seems important to me to be able to let other mothers know that even though I don't know them. I understand.

ETA: posted too soon.

DenaMaree

@daystardreams you will absolutely not be mourning alone!! My EDD based on my O would have been Oct 30th but our OB had already told us we wouldn't have gone later then September 11th so DH and I built our garden and did a small memorial with family that evening (of Sept 11) We will release three pink balloons on 10/30!! I'm sending you super big hugs!!

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the info @DenaMaree‌ & @daystardreams‌ we're reconsidering waiting.

Oh, my EDD was October 23rd. I still like the idea of doing something at the same time. Balloon release would be beautiful. What about going to a park and releasing floating lanterns?

meredithcarole

VesperLynch said:

Hello ladies,

May I please join you? I never joined this check-in because I suppose part of me thought I'd be "over this" by now, but the last week or so has been more difficult again and feel like a throwback to earlier this year. Nothing ever showed on my u/s so there's no official date, but TB or some other online calculator had me due on October 2--a week before my birthday. Just thinking about the day now has me at the edge of a crying fit.

Anyway, here are some treats for you:





Edited: image fail

Aw, ((hugs)) Vesper. I am sorry you are having a tough time and of course you can join us. We are all feeling it a little more acutely as October approaches.

DenaMaree

@VesperLynch  Welcome! So sorry you find yourself joining us!! The specific date isn't important as we can all understand the entire month will be difficult! Be kind to yourself! Take everything one day at a time and know we all understand exactly how you feel!! Sending many hugs your way!

mkfish31

Thanks for the check in @meredithcarole ! Sorry AF is here. Hope she gets the heck out soon. How are you holding up? 

I'm doing pretty good this week. I had a good cry  this past week while walking the dog with DH. Just when you think you are doing better…wham! You get overwhelming sadness with no real trigger except your own thoughts.  I'm almost to my fertile window so I think DH might be tired by next week.  

@denamareeI hope your CD 23 check goes well! I also hope October will be your month!

My EDD was October 28th. I often think of how wonderful that would have been…Having my sweet little one around for the holidays.  I like the idea of releasing balloons. I think it would be a sweet private moment for DH and myself to share together. 

DenaMaree

@mkfish31  Unfortunately the emotions tend to creep up on us and catch us off guard! Big Hugs!! Hope you confirm O and have great timing!! 

meredithcarole

I saw everyone's reply so far. I will reply this evening when I get home.

meredithcarole

DenaMaree said:

@meredithcarole‌ Isn't it crazy how excited we can get for AF to make appearances after a MC as we prepare for the time when we can be done burning the bench! Remind me, are you back to TTC? I am on CD21 and according to FF It seems to think I could have ovulated on Friday, but I haven't gotten a positive with OPK's. I am doing digital and Frer's and the digitals have never indicated a positive and the frer's have never made it to the same shade of the control line let alone gotten darker! I had two great follies at my CD16 check but the unknown is if the egg(s) ever dropped and I actually ever ovulated! I will do CD23 blood work on Thursday to see if I ovulated and how my progesterone is! If I haven't ovulated and I find out I am gearing up too still I will likely have to avoid as at this point with a 31 day cycle I would worry my luteul phase is too short and a break through period would cause a MC! In October we are Definitely doing the trigger at my CD16 appointment! We didn't this time because DH had a silly hunt that he was away at on CD17/CD18 so if it would have encouraged ovulation too soon we would have definitely missed it! I REALLY hoped I would O on CD19 as it would have been ideal with our crazy schedules! Next month our TTC is our top priority!! September has just been one of those months

Sorry your cycle seems to be a little out of whack. I would say CD17 looks like a possible O day, but it is hard to say given that your OPK results are not definitive. Sounds like you have a good plan for next month if this one doesn't work out, however. FX for this cycle!

Oh, and to answer your question, I am now on the 5th month of TTC post-m/c.

meredithcarole

YorkieLove83 said:

@meredithcarole hope AF leaves soon, thanks for the check in!

I'm ok this week. Stupid FF moved my O date to CD21 then moved it back to CD17... IDK. This month is just crap, I'm pretty sure I'm out. DH has been working a lot and I've been battling a sinus infection so we kind of let this month go. 

Testing will happen whenever AF shows up. I'm just not sure about doing the HSG test. I'm having a hard time justifying the need/cost/effectiveness of it. When I asked if it was necessary I was told it's just one of the tests they do. DH and I have talked and think we want to wait, do the HSG in Jan, if we're still not PG. What do you all think?  

Ugh, I am sorry you're not feeling well. Maybe this cycle will surprise you, but if not you have a plan and that is good. I would say there is nothing wrong with delaying the HSG until January since you don't have to worry about deductibles. See what happens this fall and if you are still having trouble then go the more aggressive route on testing/expenditure.

[Deleted User]

meredithcarole said:

YorkieLove83 said:

@meredithcarole hope AF leaves soon, thanks for the check in!

I'm ok this week. Stupid FF moved my O date to CD21 then moved it back to CD17... IDK. This month is just crap, I'm pretty sure I'm out. DH has been working a lot and I've been battling a sinus infection so we kind of let this month go. 

Testing will happen whenever AF shows up. I'm just not sure about doing the HSG test. I'm having a hard time justifying the need/cost/effectiveness of it. When I asked if it was necessary I was told it's just one of the tests they do. DH and I have talked and think we want to wait, do the HSG in Jan, if we're still not PG. What do you all think?  

Ugh, I am sorry you're not feeling well. Maybe this cycle will surprise you, but if not you have a plan and that is good. I would say there is nothing wrong with delaying the HSG until January since you don't have to worry about deductibles. See what happens this fall and if you are still having trouble then go the more aggressive route on testing/expenditure.

I'm finally over the sinus crap!!! I can breath again! YAY! lol. Fx for a surprise, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I've decided I'm going to talk to the RE about HSG at my CD3 testing. If it'll increase our fertility even a little I'm like LETS GO! But I just want to get more info first.  

meredithcarole

daystardreams said:

@meredithcarole I'm with you on just sitting around waiting for my period to end.

@DenaMaree I remember how happy I was when my first post loss period came but now every month it seems my period hurts more and more emotionally anyway. I hope your CD 23 check goes well!

@YorkieLove83 I too have heard what DenaMaree mentioned about HSG helping boost fertility the first few months after it. I don't know how much truth there is in it but I think my answer depends on how long you have been trying and also your patience level. I'm very impatient and I think that because of that I would go for it just to see if it finds anything. However, two months isn't a lot of time so if you both are feeling like you want to wait then I don't see any harm in waiting either.

School started for us last week so it's been really crazy and hectic. I'm sure it was like this last year but it just seems so crazy after a nice calm summer!

My EDD was October 31st.

I think that there is a lot going on dealing with miscarriages in October because of the Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day on the 15th. I think that the most important thing we can do is make a list of our due dates so that we can offer support on those days. I'm so scared that nobody will remember that my baby was due next month. I'm scared that I'll be mourning alone and it seems important to me to be able to let other mothers know that even though I don't know them. I understand.

ETA: posted too soon.

I know what you mean about feeling a bit like your individual loss will kind of be lost amongst the ranks, but I think the important thing (as you said) is to remember here, support each other, and to know that our losses are the individual components that make October 15th a sadly necessary day. I think that general awareness is important, but it is also about us as individuals.

I hope things at school stop being so crazy soon!

meredithcarole

YorkieLove83 said:

Thanks for the info @DenaMaree‌ & @daystardreams‌ we're reconsidering waiting. Oh, my EDD was October 23rd. I still like the idea of doing something at the same time. Balloon release would be beautiful. What about going to a park and releasing floating lanterns?

I like the idea of the floating lanterns. I don't know much about how to make them. Is there a great risk of fire? I always jump to the most extreme possible outcome for some reason

meredithcarole

mkfish31 said:

Thanks for the check in @meredithcarole ! Sorry AF is here. Hope she gets the heck out soon. How are you holding up? 

I'm doing pretty good this week. I had a good cry  this past week while walking the dog with DH. Just when you think you are doing better…wham! You get overwhelming sadness with no real trigger except your own thoughts.  I'm almost to my fertile window so I think DH might be tired by next week.  

@denamareeI hope your CD 23 check goes well! I also hope October will be your month!

My EDD was October 28th. I often think of how wonderful that would have been…Having my sweet little one around for the holidays.  I like the idea of releasing balloons. I think it would be a sweet private moment for DH and myself to share together. 

I am very familiar with having thoughts that coming seemingly out of nowhere and can bring on a good cry. I have a rather long commute and I do this to myself somewhat regularly.

I do think your point about including YH is a good one. Whatever we decide ultimately should be something we can do as couples since it was not only our loss, but our husbands' as well.

[Deleted User]

Haha @meredithcarole you can't make them, you buy them they're relatively safe because they burn out really quickly. Heres a link to an example... but I don't really want 10 of them lol. I'll keep looking! 

meredithcarole

YorkieLove83 said:

Haha @meredithcarole you can't make them, you buy them they're relatively safe because they burn out really quickly. Heres a link to an example... but I don't really want 10 of them lol. I'll keep looking! 

Ah, gotcha. I like that idea. It kind of seems a bit like sending a light out into the universe for your LO

meredithcarole

Oh! I forgot to mention it, but there are new badges available for October:
https://ttcalbadges.wordpress.com/months/september-october/

stephy1221

Sorry for the late response. Also a P&R.

I am doing better, still more emotional than usual.

My EDD was Oct 6th.

I like the idea of the sky lanterns.

Hugs & FX all around.

EJ83

Checking in super late this week. I've been keeping myself busy with projects this week. Sometimes, it's easier that way than to have too much time in my own head. We didn't pick anywhere fun to go, not sure what DH'S schedule will be next weekend. We will probably wait until Fri and pick somewhere or make for an awesome stay-cation.

Good news so far here, my last blood test results came back normal so (pending HSG test next week), we are back in the game and currently on CD 4. I'm excited but anxious to be starting again. Here's to round 4.

I know a lot of ladies here are feeling this next month coming up. I'm glad we are all here to support each other.

meredithcarole

stephy1221 said:

Sorry for the late response. Also a P&R.

I am doing better, still more emotional than usual.

My EDD was Oct 6th.

I like the idea of the sky lanterns.

Hugs & FX all around.

((Hugs)) to you Stephy. My EDD was the 7th.

meredithcarole

EJ83 said:

Checking in super late this week. I've been keeping myself busy with projects this week. Sometimes, it's easier that way than to have too much time in my own head. We didn't pick anywhere fun to go, not sure what DH'S schedule will be next weekend. We will probably wait until Fri and pick somewhere or make for an awesome stay-cation.

Good news so far here, my last blood test results came back normal so (pending HSG test next week), we are back in the game and currently on CD 4. I'm excited but anxious to be starting again. Here's to round 4.

I know a lot of ladies here are feeling this next month coming up. I'm glad we are all here to support each other.

So glad the blood test came back normal. FX for good results from the HCG.

[Deleted User]

Omg! I'm so excited! I started spotting this morning which means... I HAD A 'NORMAL' CYCLE!!!! 7 days light to medium AF, 30 day cycle, with O somewhere between CD14-17. I've never had a. a period that light, b. a 30 day cycle and c. So much excitement when AF showed. Happy dance!

I had to share with you ladies since the rest of the world (my husband included) thinks I'm crazy for being excited lol

EJ83

@YorkieLove83‌ Congrats!

meredithcarole

YorkieLove83 said:

Omg! I'm so excited! I started spotting this morning which means... I HAD A 'NORMAL' CYCLE!!!! 7 days light to medium AF, 30 day cycle, with O somewhere between CD14-17. I've never had a. a period that light, b. a 30 day cycle and c. So much excitement when AF showed. Happy dance! I had to share with you ladies since the rest of the world (my husband included) thinks I'm crazy for being excited lol

Yay!