Waiting post loss

purplehaze11 · September 2014

Declaimer: I am not asking this question because I am going against OB advice. I was at the naturopath today and she mentioned that perhaps I had gotten pregnant too quickly after my last loss and it might have been a factor in the miscarriage. DH and I waited the amount of time recommended by the OB (two cycles), and I'm pretty taken aback that she would say that as I explicitly said I followed his advice. She said that it can take longer for your hormones to regulate, Iike closer to six months. I was just curious if anyone has heard this? While I'm certainly following my OB's advice throughout this process, a little piece of me is now wondering if we tried too soon and it was the reason for our loss, or is this practitioner off base? Thanks for anyone who got through my convoluted thoughts

Menrandes · September 2014

I don't know, I have only have my limited experience to go off of. I know that after my first loss, my Dr. told me that I needed to wait 3 cycles or more because she had personally seen less losses after that mark. Whether that was coincidence or not, I don't know and neither does she. Everyone is different and one-three cycles may be enough for someone and not enough for someone else.

gscoville · September 2014

Personally I think it was horrible for your naturopath to say that! So often we never know a reason for any loss, it was irresponsible and quite honestly unprofessional of her to make you feel like your decision to follow your doctor's advice caused your loss.

rslh10 · September 2014

I'm going to agree that it was kind of rude of her to say that. If she has ever experienced a loss before, she would probably have known better. That is hurtful. I'm sorry she said that love. It was nothing you did that caused your loss. Nothing. Big giant hugs <33

mrsjg2013 · September 2014

Big ((HUGS)). I'm sorry she said that to you. My RE is very, very statistical, and he told us that we could try after only 2 months post loss (11 weeks, d&c). I know that if he had any data to prove that waiting longer would be beneficial, he would have shared it when I asked him pointedly.

meredithcarole · September 2014

I am sorry. Please don't blame yourself or the timing. Rarely do we know what caused a loss and there is no sense speculating.

jms627 · September 2014

That's a really shitty thing for your doctor to say. Please, please don't let that make you feel like you did anything. You did nothing but what you were supposed to. (((HUGS)))

purplehaze11 · September 2014

Thanks ladies. It really upset me, and it just wanted to be sure that I wasn't crazy for feeling that way.

RNMoMmy17 · September 2014

That was insensitive of her to say! The last thing any lady who has miscarried needs to hear is that something she did caused it. I wouldn't see her anymore. There is no way of knowing why it happened, most commonly it's a chromosomal formation issue, completely out of anyone's hands. I have heard waiting 1 cycle safe> to 6 cycles are needed. There are plenty of ladies out there who never get AF after MC b/c the are pregnant already and end up having successful pregnancies. Wishing we could be that lucky! All that being said, no y'all didn't try too soon and is it absolutely not your fault. I'm sorry that happened to you. Props to you for trying again! Don't give up!

buggirl72 · September 2014

gscoville said:

Personally I think it was horrible for your naturopath to say that! So often we never know a reason for any loss, it was irresponsible and quite honestly unprofessional of her to make you feel like your decision to follow your doctor's advice caused your loss.

This.

You did what your OB said to do. Your OB is an expert in the female reproductive system - and they have experience with treating patients post loss. It's their wheel-house so to speak.

A ND is not an expert in reproductive medicine. If anything, they would be more on par with a family practitioner as far as "specialty" and should not be telling you that by following the specialists orders, you were not physically ready and that is why your loss happened.

sunflwra · September 2014

So sorry that you are having to deal with this- I agree with the others that it was really wrong of her to say what she did. With my experience- I think my OB is pretty conservative and we were told to wait 3 cycles post loss. I'm not sure what she would consider as your hormones "regulating" but I know that my cycles (once they returned- 6 weeks post loss both times) fell in line with exactly what they'd been pre-loss (length, O timing, etc). I know everyone is different, so maybe that's what she was referring to but in these situations I would most definitely follow the guidance of a medical professional and anything said to possibly make you feel guilty for that is just shitty.

purplehaze11 · September 2014

Thanks ladies. I'm really debating not going back, but she does come with high recommendations. I'm still sitting on it, but glad you all agree that what she said was out of line. I mentioned it to an IRL friend before posting, and she seemed to feel like it was fine, hence why I posted.

reds2929 · September 2014

I have nothing new to add, just wanted to echo what everyone else said. I'm so sorry for your loss, and so sorry you had to hear that. I can't imagine how difficult that was to hear.

For whatever its worth at this point, my OB told me to start trying "whenever I was ready." As we all know, every person and every pregnancy is different. And, unfortunately, sometimes bad things just happen for no reason. Please don't blame yourself. Take care, I am thinking about you.

4N6s · September 2014

I haven't read any scientific evidence that proves waiting is better. It's recommended but not back by science.

If anyone has scientific proof or studies, please send them to me! I've been trying to find as much data as possible.