Friendship over !

Esthi

I have/had a really good friend who is about 18 years older then me. we were like two sisters . Really close . Lately I told her that I am really busy with DD. ( she is awake day and night ) now my friend cut all ties. She is not interested anymore in keeping up the friendship ... Can you understand this ? Nothing else happened between us, plus she also has grown up kids . She does not reply to any of my text

Esthi

itsmeally said:

I'm sorry. Sometimes things like this really make you realize who your true friends are.  

Yes but after about 20 years of friendship !?

ccip82

I'm confused too. She is eighteen years older than you and you have been friends for twenty years?

holly142

Maybe write her an email or talk in person saying how much you value your friendship and how you consider her to be like a sister.  Tell her you are really struggling with DD being awake right now.  Ask her how she is doing.  Maybe something happened in her life and she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about it right now because so much is going on in your life? 

Maybe invite the friend over?  I know when I am tired I don't want to going anywhere, but I don't mind if someone comes over for lunch.  I need to eat anyways, plus my friend and I can take turns eating and playing with DD, so I actually have a better chance of eating!     

Esthi

ccip82 said:

I'm confused too. She is eighteen years older than you and you have been friends for twenty years?

Yup indeed . I am 35 ! I know her since I am around 15. I Was in school with her younger sister.

Esthi

itsmeally said:

Sounds like there's more to the story, unless she feels as though you're not putting forth enough effort?  Either way, still shitty for her not to discuss it with you.

@itsmeally‌ : I was a bit less "active" lately.( we used to chat for hours daily) But only due to being really busy with DD. I explained that to her

Esthi

holly142 said:

Maybe write her an email or talk in person saying how much you value your friendship and how you consider her to be like a sister.  Tell her you are really struggling with DD being awake right now.  Ask her how she is doing.  Maybe something happened in her life and she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about it right now because so much is going on in your life? 

Maybe invite the friend over?  I know when I am tired I don't want to going anywhere, but I don't mind if someone comes over for lunch.  I need to eat anyways, plus my friend and I can take turns eating and playing with DD, so I actually have a better chance of eating!     

@holly142: yes i will have to try find out if something happened by her . That's an option

Esthi

Sorry sorry sorry I just realised what rubbish I wrote . Gosh I need more sleep to get my brains working again... It's like that : she is 10 years older than me, but I know her for about 18-20 years already . Honestly can't believe I wrote it so wrong

Rebis58

Is this behaviour typical for her? Has she ever given you the cold shoulder before, or have you seen her cut other friends off like this? If this is normal for her, it's super immature and I would probably just let her pout or whatever she's doing until it blows over.

If this isn't normal for her I would wonder if there's something going on in her life, or if you inadvertently offended her in some way. A 20 year friendship is worth fighting for, so I would definitely try to talk this out with her. It's unfortunate she's not willing to tell you what is upsetting her. If she won't answer her phone or texts, I guess try sending an email? Are you still in touch with her sister? You could try to get a message to her through her sister if you are.

Hope you are able to sort this out - losing a friend sucks.

ETA: fix word