People say the dumbest things

southernyankeegirl

I just can't with some people, for serious.

Since finding out we're expecting a boy, I've heard the following comments:

"Your husband must be so excited that it's a boy!  Dads always are most excited to have a son."

"Now it doesn't matter if you can have a second child - at least you have a son to carry on the family name!"

"With a boy, you'll only have to worry about controlling one penis rather than all of them."

"Well, you won't have to worry about a son getting knocked up in high school!"



I'm the sort to straighten people out, and I definitely do try.  But holy hell, the absolute nerve of some people!

What terrible things have you been told recently?

Roxycc55

"I knew you had it in you!" -from DH's friend after he found out we were having a boy. Cue major eye roll.

SRose1005

From the ultrasound tech, "well I'm glad to see you're having a girl, because I have a 15 year old daughter and misery loves company."


Thanks buddy. I did chuckle a little, because I was a terror when I was about that age, but overall not a totally helpful comment.

BookitBoo

Hahahaha WHAT. People be crazy

Maebb

When people find out that our #2 is a second boy, "So, are you going to have 3 to try for the girl?"

Cool your jets, people. I don't know what makes them think that we have to have a girl, but what if it's another boy? Just keep having more until we finally get a girl?

sanbry

Wtf with the knocking up comment, last I checked, my son should be equally responsible if he gets a girl pregnant when they are teenagers. I hope neither of my children do that. I have a daughter and this one is a boy.

robsbabygirl08

I am Team Green but someone asked what I was gonna do if it wasn't a boy? Um, shit, well, I guess I'll put it back where it came from until it grows the "proper" appendage!!!! Seriously WTF.

In all honesty I would probably be relieved because I love the girl name I picked out and am tried of arguing with DH about having to carry on the male tradition of names on his side.

Milagros315

WTF.

Thankfully, no one has pissed me off yet. However, when we told my MIL it was boy we all joked that we hoped he wouldn't take after my FIL (multiple affairs, divorce, etc). We said we weren't worried because H turned out fine and she replied "There's still time". I think she would love it if H left me.

LaBellaVida

"Oh, 4 boys? You'll have to try again."

I'm so sick of hearing people's thoughts and opinions. I'm sick of being told I have to have another. I'm good. I'm content. I'm not having any more. I said this was my last, boy or girl.

People need to lay off!

Jamie02Lee

I've gotten "oh man,I wanted u to have a girl" well too bad, it's a boy n were thrilled so idc what u wanted lol...

lavet22

LaBellaVida said:

"Oh, 4 boys? You'll have to try again." I'm so sick of hearing people's thoughts and opinions. I'm sick of being told I have to have another. I'm good. I'm content. I'm not having any more. I said this was my last, boy or girl. People need to lay off!

When I was pregnant with DS3, a complete stranger saw me in line with the other 2 and asked what I was having.  When I told her another boy she looked devastated and said, "Well, keep trying until you have a daughter.  Even if you have to have 7."  She was completely serious.  I actually laughed in her face and said, "Um. No thank you.  I'm done."  I don't know what they think is so wrong with all boys.  All mine are mommas boys and I LOVE IT!!!!  I always tell them, "Better all boys than all girls.."  Funny, no one has disagreed with me on that.  LOL

luciddreamer106

WTF is wrong with some people?! I haven't had any crazy things said to me, at least that I can remember.

rainbows

My aunt wants me to keep trying until we have a girl.  Im ilke WTF, we dont even have this baby out yet, and Im not looking foward to going through all this again.  So I told her she was lucky there was even one baby coming for her to try to spoil  (My DH avoids her like the plague, and I dont care for her much either).

Edit.  Although to be honest, The though that he wouldnt get knocked up in HS, was a thought factor in being glad that we were having a boy.  Yes, it takes 2 to tango, but proper contraceptive use still resides mostly with the females at this time.

LadyXaverian

Everyone knows this is our last baby, and we'll have 2 girls now. Before we found out, everyone told us that they hoped it was a boy. We said that we didn't care, but apparently we were the only ones. EVERYONE told us they hoped we were having a boy.

So when we announced it was a girl we got lots of "congratulations" but with a sympathetic tone in their voices or look on their faces. 

It's kind of annoying because we're not disappointed at all, but no one has said anything terribly rude about it, and I hope it stays that way.

BookitBoo

LadyXaverian said:

Everyone knows this is our last baby, and we'll have 2 girls now. Before we found out, everyone told us that they hoped it was a boy. We said that we didn't care, but apparently we were the only ones. EVERYONE told us they hoped we were having a boy.

So when we announced it was a girl we got lots of "congratulations" but with a sympathetic tone in their voices or look on their faces. 

It's kind of annoying because we're not disappointed at all, but no one has said anything terribly rude about it, and I hope it stays that way.

I'm also worried about this. Everyone says that they hope we have a girl and I just kinda laugh it off. I don't really care if we have a boy or girl, and would be really ecstatic to have a pack of boys running around my house. We're more concerned about the reactions of friends and family.

southernyankeegirl

rainbows said:

My aunt wants me to keep trying until we have a girl.  Im ilke WTF, we dont even have this baby out yet, and Im not looking foward to going through all this again.  So I told her she was lucky there was even one baby coming for her to try to spoil  (My DH avoids her like the plague, and I dont care for her much either).

Edit.  Although to be honest, The though that he wouldnt get knocked up in HS, was a thought factor in being glad that we were having a boy.  Yes, it takes 2 to tango, but proper contraceptive use still resides mostly with the females at this time.

But... why?  That's just so weird to me.

If my son sticks his dick in some girl, they both need to deal with the consequences.  Sure, he wouldn't need to miss class to deliver a baby, but he'd be working after school to pay for medical costs and diapers and formula (if needed) and doing his part in raising the child. 

And it's his dick - it's his job to wrap it if he wants to use it.  I don't get why there's this attitude that "boys will be boys" and it's a girl's job (and her parents') to hold them off.  We need to teach boys that they CAN control themselves and make smart decisions.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/carina-kolodny/the-conversation-you-must-have-with-your-sons_b_3764489.html

BookitBoo

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

I have a workmate due a few days before me. She's has two girls already and this baby is also a girl. I was asked the other day what I was having. When I said boy, the person replied "you should tell her what you did to get a boy! Good for you having a boy first!"

Um... I thought for sure this baby was a girl. I wasn't trying for a particular sex; it was a 50-50 shot at one or the other

I would be really irate if someone said this to me. What kinda person thinks it's ok to say something like that? How rude!

LaBellaVida

rainbows said:

My aunt wants me to keep trying until we have a girl.  Im ilke WTF, we dont even have this baby out yet, and Im not looking foward to going through all this again.  So I told her she was lucky there was even one baby coming for her to try to spoil  (My DH avoids her like the plague, and I dont care for her much either).

Edit.  Although to be honest, The though that he wouldnt get knocked up in HS, was a thought factor in being glad that we were having a boy.  Yes, it takes 2 to tango, but proper contraceptive use still resides mostly with the females at this time.

Oh FFS, I can't even deal with this comment. This rubs me the wrong way. I'm mobile, and cooking dinner, maybe I'll come back later when I've got time and give a piece of my mind on this.

ChelCChargers

People I barely even know from work that only started talking to me because I'm pregnant saying "I knew it was a girl" hmmm is that so? I'm also tired of hearing people talk about how "tiny" I am and how I "don't even look pregnant" well I'm sorry that I was skinny before I got pregnant and I haven't gained a bunch of weight...but I'm pretty sure that my bump wasn't there before, therefore I look pregnant.

I'm just so tired of people talking about my body like it's their business. Half these people wouldn't even talk to me if I wasn't pregnant. I just keep telling myself only 2 more months of dealing with these people at work then I'm out!

southernyankeegirl

@ExcitedMama2 - people suck.  I've similarly (though different circumstances) had people ask me, "Are you absolutely sure they used your husband's sperm?" because we did artificial insemination to get pregnant.

"I've heard that this one couple doing that 'stuff' ended up having a black baby, and a black couple had a white baby."  I wish I were kidding with this shit.

All I say is, "Well, if my husband turns out to not be the biological father, we at least won't have to worry about how we're paying for college!"

It blows my mind the nerve some people have!


ETA:
Oh, oh, oh, and my favorite - how could I forget?!

I was at the grocery store one day to pick up some cottage cheese.  At the check-out, the cashier looks at me and says, "You need to make better choices."  And I thought she was talking about the cottage cheese brand, so I said, "Haha, I know, but the generic is pretty good!" and she looked obviously at my belly and then at my empty ring finger (I wasn't wearing it, so sue me - didn't realize it was a law around here).  And she said, "That baby needs a father."

I just... I couldn't.  I didn't even buy the cottage cheese.  I mumbled something to the effect of "This baby has a father, fuck you," and walked out.

Maebb

@southernyankeegirl‌, WHAT, I would have been LIVID at that comment from the cashier. It definitely was not her place to comment on your groceries or your personal life. Maybe you were too shocked and angry to talk to the manager, but you should. Many of the comments in this thread are dumb, but that is truly offensive and over the line.

southernyankeegirl

Maebb said:

@southernyankeegirl‌, WHAT, I would have been LIVID at that comment from the cashier. It definitely was not her place to comment on your groceries or your personal life. Maybe you were too shocked and angry to talk to the manager, but you should. Many of the comments in this thread are dumb, but that is truly offensive and over the line.

I agree, I wasn't equipped in the moment to handle it better.  However, I don't remember what the cashier looked like and certainly not her name.  It wouldn't be very productive at this point.

DH and I now joke every time I'm going somewhere without my wedding ring that I'm "making bad choices".

rainbows

southernyankeegirl said:

rainbows said:

My aunt wants me to keep trying until we have a girl.  Im ilke WTF, we dont even have this baby out yet, and Im not looking foward to going through all this again.  So I told her she was lucky there was even one baby coming for her to try to spoil  (My DH avoids her like the plague, and I dont care for her much either).

Edit.  Although to be honest, The though that he wouldnt get knocked up in HS, was a thought factor in being glad that we were having a boy.  Yes, it takes 2 to tango, but proper contraceptive use still resides mostly with the females at this time.

But... why?  That's just so weird to me.

If my son sticks his dick in some girl, they both need to deal with the consequences.  Sure, he wouldn't need to miss class to deliver a baby, but he'd be working after school to pay for medical costs and diapers and formula (if needed) and doing his part in raising the child. 

And it's his dick - it's his job to wrap it if he wants to use it.  I don't get why there's this attitude that "boys will be boys" and it's a girl's job (and her parents') to hold them off.  We need to teach boys that they CAN control themselves and make smart decisions.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/carina-kolodny/the-conversation-you-must-have-with-your-sons_b_3764489.html

Because a boy needs to use a condom once.  A girl has to remember to take a pill EVERY day.  I wasnt trying to say a boy doesnt need to be responsible, but its way easier to have to think about protection once you are ready for the act than it is to remember to take it at the same time, every single day.  

Edit:  Thats one of the reasons why i switched to a long term solution once I got married.  

SpaceGirlSpiff

Yeah... The usual... This one is a girl, my first is a boy so naturally I'm getting the "that's perfect!" Comments .... Or "oh good!!" Like its a relief I just roll my eyes... Not worth the energy to get actually offended or angry... But yeah it's stupid. I would have been just as happy with another boy and we still would have been done at 2 

That story about the cashier -- such bullshit. I would have gone straight to the manager .... Not ok

Maebb

@rainbows, I think the part of your post that bothered people is "proper contraceptive use still resides mostly with the females at this time."

As the mom of (soon to be) 2 boys, DH and I will teach them that it is 100% their responsibility to wear a condom every time they have sex, and to take accountability for whatever happens as a result of their choice to have sex. Proper contraception use is everyone's responsibility. You can't depend on one person or the other to use contraception, and proper contraception use does not "reside" with any one sex. I get that maybe some people feel that the female carries the brunt of the responsibility since she would be the one carrying the baby, but that is BS.

longcat07

i haven't had anything too bad, other than the inevitable question of whether or not i'm "hoping" for one sex or the other, usually followed by the person answering for me by saying, "oh, but you have a boy, so you'll be wanting a girl then."  ???

@southernyankeegirl - i would have been livid.  i'm NOT married, and this baby definitely has a father who is committed to me and BOTH of my children, even the one that isn't biologically his.  and to make such an awful comment based on a RING (or lack thereof)?  fuck her.  what a fucking douchenozzle.

Stargirlb

I wish people asked me rude and stupid questions because I have a zillion rude and stupid zingers ready for them!

bigbobdole

Stargirlb said:

I wish people asked me rude and stupid questions because I have a zillion rude and stupid zingers ready for them!

You have rude and stupid zingers? Doubt that. :P

Everyone says to me that they think I'm having a girl but they really hope I "get my boy." I have a daughter already so I guess I need a boy to complete the set?

If my baby is a girl does anyone wanna trade me their boy?

Stargirlb

Ok actually someone IRL did ask me if I was gonna get a cake for the 'gender reveal' after my ultrasound. I told them about my Idea of filling black balloons with ketchup and tiny baby figurines and then getting everyone to pop them with a pin and be like "surprise! We are having an abortion!"

I told DH I posted that here too and that nobody liked it. He rolled his eyes and was like "Brittany, stop torturing these americans. Of course nobody liked it. What did you expect?"

mandikins27

ExcitedMama2 said:

Being a single mom, I get the "do you know who the father is?" and "is the father going to be involved?"  I'm one to make people feel equally uncomfortable asking questions like the first one, so I'll say something like "I didn't really get a good look at him." or "I've narrowed it down to 10 or so.  We'll see when the baby comes if I'm right!"  

For the record...I DO know who the father is, there was only ONE possibility, and we had been dating for quite a while when I got pregnant.  

Haha thats awesome. I do the same thing or say well we will find out on maury.

southernyankeegirl

@longcat07‌ - I agree, having two committed parents is awesome. Being a single Mom is harder but still awesome. Marital status really has nothing to do with that. To hell with this bitch - if I had my wits about me, I probably would have told her that.

And given the conservative Christian community that's pretty strong around here, I shouldn't have been too surprised. It just was so strange and took me off guard!

LovelyLips

My uncle in law asked me if I was scared. Me all puzzled said of what? He said, of giving birth and all that. It's gonna hurt ain't it!

Well thanks for that Sherlock. Well done. Like I need reminding of the fact. Yes it's gonna hurt like hell but I've been there done that and as I'm a WOMAN and born to handle that shit I think I've got this one in the bag. What an ass. Men are such pussies. Slightest cold and they're rolling around dying.

Also the "Oh no youre having another boy! Shame it's not a girl!" type of comments.

longcat07

southernyankeegirl said:

@longcat07‌ - I agree, having two committed parents is awesome. Being a single Mom is harder but still awesome. Marital status really has nothing to do with that. To hell with this bitch - if I had my wits about me, I probably would have told her that. And given the conservative Christian community that's pretty strong around here, I shouldn't have been too surprised. It just was so strange and took me off guard!

yes, this too.  i don't know why i didn't touch on that either, because i've done the single mom schtick and it had nothing to do with choice (and it seldom does...and even when it DOES, what business is it of anyone else's?).

between that and @ExcitedMama's comments about knowing who the father is, i may have lost what little faith/optimism i had left in humanity.  most of these are just dumb and eyeroll-worthy but those are just plain douchebaggery.

mandikins27

CrazyMonkeyBear said:

I was just reminded of another one I got when people were finding out I was pregnant... "You're going to get married before that baby comes, right? That baby needs married parents before it gets here. Just go have a quicky wedding and not tell anyone. I can't believe you planned having a baby before marriage." Now, she looks at my hand whenever she sees me to see if there is a wedding band instead of just an engagement ring. She'll also call my FI my husband to see if I won't correct her.

I got this too!! And i laughed so hard and said god no taking care of baby is enough i dont need to take care of a man on top of it
She had a utterly horrified look on her face

letsgox

I still don't get your explanation @rainbows‌.

We are team green, but I get asked if we will "be done after this one if it's a boy." I tell them we don't need the baby to be a certain sex for our family to be complete. They don't know what to say, usually.

ShuShubee

Wow. Most of the comments directed at me recently have been about my growing belly. One male coworker called it a pot belly. Ummm, no. There is another human being in there, thankyouverymuch.

firegalb

One of my old bosses saw me last week and hasn't seen me since I started modified duties. He doesn't like me.
He just shouted "woah look at you, you're filling out!!"
I've gained 6 pounds and I'm 5 months.
He didn't say it to be nice. He's an asshole.

ljordan722

We found out we were pregnant with my now 4yr old about a week before our wedding that November, we'd been engaged since august. His mother had the balls to say " Oh, so THATS why y'all are getting married!" I was livid! I still don't like that woman, but luckily we live about 30 minutes away from her now, and she never comes to visit!

stlchic

My favorite is "Wow isn't it time for that baby to come out yet?" Um no I'm 5 months pregnant, and the person just noticed I was pregnant. So thank you for telling me I'm too big already. He already measures 2 weeks ahead, he's going to be a big boy, I'm not some small girl either. So yes I look pregnant and I'm sure I will get an unendless supply of stupid comments.

Stargirlb

haha oh I have gotten the "is Jon (partner) excited?"  

and I always just say a variation of, "Well, there's a pretty good chance it's his, so he's stoked!"

LaStella25

Almost all strange comments that I have no clue how to answer (without being a total smart ass) come from my MIL.

One of these days I'm going to dish it like it's served....one day.