Am I a bad friend/whining/sympathy?

highbornhunter

So I texted (I know, first fail) my good friend/husband's cousin last night to let her know we are not going to make it to her daughter's birthday party this Sunday. I had originall said we would go, but it's an hour+ drive to where she and her daughter live.  So it's not like this party would just take up a couple hours, we'd spend that just getting there and back.  I can tell from her response that she is hurt and disappointed and I feel bad but I don't know what else I can do.  We are going to my niece's birthday party today and that's a command performance because my husband's parents are away and my other sister and brother-in-law can't make it up from Maryland so we are the only family on my DH's side who can make it.  This is a 3 day weekend for both DH and I, and we've been running continuously every weekend in August, and September and October aren't looking any less crazy.  Our house is a disaster, we have more work to do on the baby's room. I want to buy paint and start painting BB's room this weekend.  DH has run himself ragged between work and taking care of his parents house this week while they are on vacation. I'm 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow and with the hospital tour this week, and baby showers looming on the horizon (baby things already beginning to fill up his room!), it's getting pretty real around here. 

I need a break and I need to get my house in order and I don't want to spend my whole 3 day weekend running to birthday parties. And I feel shitty about it.

Mostly I'm just looking for sympathy, or a kick in the butt, whichever you feel is warranted.  

Kristy774

I understand where your coming from and I don't think your being unreasonable. You can't do everything, your attending one party, you have things you need to do for your own baby, just make sure you send a nice gift

silverwings72

I totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes our family forgets how much we truly have to do just to prepare for LO. Also, there is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are feeling overwhelmed and need some down time. She is probably just sad you can't make it, which is understandable. I like @Kristy774‌'s idea about sending a nice gift. Maybe even a phone call during the party wishing daughter a happy birthday.

highbornhunter

Thank you ladies! I was going to see them today at this niece's birthday and take her daughter's present with to send home with them

k1911

Do not feel bad!!! I would have done the same thing. It sounds like you've been busy and you need your rest at this point. I'm sorry but a kids birthday party is not important in the grand scheme of things. She should have responded that she completely understands but people are funny. Your health is top priority right now so be easy on yourself and listen to your body. So many people push it and then have complications later on. Do not feel bad and put you and baby first!

Maelara

It sounds like you guys had been super busy! There is nothing wrong with taking some time to yourselves and getting your house in order. None at all. There will be other birthdays

ssstephanie214

If itd make you feel better, you can still put in a phone call to wish the girl happy birthday and tell your friend you're just not up to it. Don't underestimate how much down time you need!

absolutelymaybe

I wouldn't sweat it.

musicalmommy3

I get where you are coming from completely. Sometimes you just have to say no. You can only do so much!

creativesoul83

I don't think your a bad friend. she may have been disappointed because you are such a good friend and she will miss you. I am sure she understands especially having one she should understand where you are coming from.

I have missed so much this spring/summer but been busy as a bee.

I would call and wish happy birthday and talk with your friend like pp said. enjoy the down time you can.

hjenni

I don't think you're being a bad friend. One of the nice things about pregnancy is that it forces us to take care of ourselves. Plus, it sounds like your DH could use a breather himself. She may be disappointed because she will miss you and I don't want to speak for her but my guess is that she really does understand.

kikimeemee

Turn the tables-- are you mad or hurt when someone doesn't come to your party? No - because things come up and life is busy. It's ok to skip out on things sometimes IMO.