Hey fellow 3T-ers,
I don't have any news to share about my journey, I just need to let off some steam, frustration, and overall crappy emotions. On Tuesday, I flew from CA to NJ for my sister's baby shower. Ever since I got here I have been working on baby this, diaper that, or some other baby centered task. In what little off time I have had, I find myself researching endometriosis and endometriomas. I love my sister and I am thrilled for her, but every happy emotion is quickly crushed by the recent news that I have stage IV endo and my never have children or at least will most likely not have children naturally. My Mom understands that it's hard for me to put on a smile and she has said to me many times that I am a good person for coming to support my sister. What makes it worse is that all of my childhood friends who are still here all have children of their own and whenever we get together, all they seem to do is talk about their children. My only other friend who does not have children just moved to Florida so she is not here. Fortunately, my best friend still lives around here and she has suffered for several years with very painful, stage III endo and has undergone numerous procedures with little to no relief. I am not saying that it's fortunate that she has endo, but I am glad that I have someone around who I can talk to and I am looking forward to getting together with her in a few days. She has a daughter, but she is five and I don't have the same negative attitude to her.
Anyway, I am trying to not let it get the best of me and especially not say anything that will take away from my sister's special day. Also, I am trying not dwell on something that I do not have all the facts for yet. I have an MRI the day after I get back, and then I meet with an OBGyn the following Monday. At this point, all I know is that there is a growth that is "likely" an endometrioma (the word "likely" is used on the Ultrasound write-up). I am looking forward to getting home to my husband and our two cats and focusing on what needs to be done next. I just need to remember to breathe. I am certain that even if I can't give birth to a child, I will give one a loving and nurturing home one way or another.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I feel a bit better. Now I have to go make dinner while my sister lounges on the couch. :-/
Love to all of you!