Babies on the Brain

3 kids vs 4 kids

Hi!  Are there any moms out there who have 4 kids?  If so, tell me about it.  We have 3 girls and are considering a 4th.  We don't feel done but 4 feels like unchartered territory by most.  My girls ages are 7,5 and 2.  Thanks!  

Re: 3 kids vs 4 kids

  • My husband is one of six, I'm one of two.  I think that every time you add a child you're going to have less time to devote to the ones you already have.  I see this with my husband's family.  They each got much less attention individually than I did. 

    As long as you're okay with that (and it isn't necessarily bad) and as long as you can afford them and have the space, then go for it. 

    We just had number 3 and at this point, even though the baby isn't even 4 weeks old yet, we know we are done.  I don't want to be pregnant again, I don't want to go through the newborn phase again after this time.  I also feel like I want to devote my time and energy to the 3 children I have and not add any more.

    This is so personal though.  I can see advantages to a large family, they will have each other and it can be more fun, and more crazy. 

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  • Mine are the same age as yours and this summer cemented us being done. It's overwhelming and expensive!
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  • My Aunt has five kids and she swears 4 & 5 were a breeze.  Said the transition from 2 to 3 was the hardest, not because of baby #3 itself, but I guess just the changing dynamic.  I have always been of the mind that you will never regret having another (provided everyone is on board and you can support them), but you might regret not having another.
  • We also have three girls. I would love to have another and we are considering it. My girls are 7, 5 and 3. It is hard to know if I crave another baby because my girls are growing up, or if it is a "sign" that we aren't done yet. I just know so many of my friends say, "oh we are definitely done" and I don't feel that way.
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  • I've heard that 3 is the hardest number of kids to have. I also have a work friend with 4 kids of similar age spacing. She found having 2 older and 2 younger worked well also. But what doI know? ;) I've only got 2 atm.
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  • My friend has four. I can't go to her house for more than an hour without wanting to cry. Granted their ages are far apart (11 & 10 boys, 3 & 1 girls) its hectic and crazy. I personally couldn't do it, I grew up with 3, but some people are more capable of handling four then I am!

  • I grew up in a family of four. When I was born my oldest sister was 9, my other sister was 6, and my brother was one and a half. I never felt neglected. Finances were tight but we had an incredibly happy child hood because we have such great parents. I wouldn't have it any other way (especially since I was the last born!) My mom said that she had never felt done until I came around and then she just knew that she was done. Good luck!

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  • We only have 2 now, but are considering going to 4.  We have two that are close in age and think it would be good to have 2 more that are close in age, but we want to wait until our oldest starts school before TTC.  Good luck!
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  • sschwege said:

    My Aunt has five kids and she swears 4 & 5 were a breeze.  Said the transition from 2 to 3 was the hardest, not because of baby #3 itself, but I guess just the changing dynamic.  I have always been of the mind that you will never regret having another (provided everyone is on board and you can support them), but you might regret not having another.

    I feel the same way! When I nannied, the family was considering a second child. One day the mom asked my opinion and I said that same thing- they likely wouldn't regret another, but may regret not having one.

    In any event, they did end up going the second child route!
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  • I'm the youngest of 5 but there was a large age gap between me and the oldest-16 years!
    I loved coming from a big family! I'm currently pregnant with #3. I always thought I would want 4 but I think we are going to be done at 3. My husband has a high stress job and isn't home much so I think 4 would be too many for our family.
  • I am the youngest of five and I love it (maybe because I am the youngest? I will have to ask my brother) My two brothers moved away one in California the other in Colorado and then my two sisters are around. I love that we have family dinner on Sundays and blood is thicker than water. I know that I want to have a bigger family I say three or four DH says 3 but we don't even have one yet. I like the saying that you will never regret having another but you might regret not having had another. Do what feels right for you and your family.  Good Luck
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