This is a hard post. But I'm not sure where else to turn.
I've been struggling with depression during this pregnancy. It's been completely new to me - I'm not an unhappy person. I love my family, my partner, this baby. But it's like I got put under some black cloud I couldn't see out of. I had to slow down at work, we moved farther from my people, and he had to pick up a bunch of overtime to make up the difference. I took it out on him. A lot. I didn't talk to anyone about it, i thought I could handle it on my own, that it made me a bad mother to feel the way I did. I didn't even see that I was doing it - starting fights, blaming him for not being here for me, making him feel like it was his fault that I was so unhappy. I love him, more than anything. It's like I wasn't even myself. I didn't see him trying, I didn't hear him. I was snapped out of it the other day, when he told me that he needed space. The reality of losing him crushed me. It was what I needed to finally yank me out of the fog I was in. The clarity hit me like a brick, I begged him to let me try again to be the person he fell in love with. He's been sweet and gentle and we decided to fix things.
I'm not sure how to do this part. How to not walk on eggshells. How to really make him believe how sorry I am for ignoring what was happening. How to stay out of that fog.
Re: Relationship struggles.
I can only echo what others have said in suggesting more open communication, seeing a doctor to see if there's something hormonal going on that needs medicine to balance, and pursuing therapy. None of these things can happen until you get to the point where you're willing to ask for help though, so you've already done one of the hardest parts.
Good luck to you!