Grrrrr...kinda long.

Kevin Mathewson

So, I decided to let my sister in on my little secret that DH and I are TTC.  I knew she would be excited because she askes me about every day when are we going to have a baby.  Her response began with, "OMG!  I'll finally have a niece or nephew!"  Unfortunately it was followed by this, "I think we're going to try to have baby number 3 too.  Wouldn't that be so much fun if we were PG together?"

Now, under normal circumstances this would be exciting.  However, my lovely sister already has 2 kids (4 and 8 months) and has just receintly moved her family in with our grandparents because finances are so bad.  So let's just go throw another baby into the mix.  That should fix everything.

 It took everything I had not to lose it on her when she asked why DH and I waited so long (I don't think 2 years is long).  I wanted to be like "Well, unlike you we wanted to get married first, I didn't want to be pg at my wedding, and we wanted to get our finances in order so we didn't have to rely on the rest of the freakin' world to help us!"  But of course I didn't say that!

 Vent over!  Thanks for listening!

mooeta

sorry.  I know how you feel though.  apparently 5 yrs means you're never  going to have children and there's something wrong with you.  I think waiting for us was the best thing.  I hope they don't have another till it is right for them.  GL

AMYfromKY

I know she's your sister and you love her, but people like her will never learn.  There really is no point worrying about it because if you say something she will just think your jealous.  Just know since you did wait that your life will be easier and your baby will most likely have a lot more opportunities.  GL with TTC!

AmyfromMI

That's a tough one, unfortunately people are going to do what they want, when they want to, not when it's right to.  On top of it all add a little sibling rivarly to the mix.  Hopefully things work out for the best.

happysong

That's frustrating.  At least you know that you and your DH have made the choices that were right for you.  I probably wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut if it were my sister.  I wouldn't be mean, but I could see myself saying, "really?  And how are you going to be able to afford another baby?"

AJflowers

Oh how well I know this story.  My grandma said (as DH was showing her pics of our dogs), "Most people have these kinds of pictures of their CHILDREN."  She seriously thinks that you get married to have children, rich people should have the most children...WOW. 

DH and I waited until after we were married 3 years...for several reasons.

MSC03

I think I would have said something like what you described, especially if those are your reasons for waiting.

lyse2143

Do you not have the type of relationship with your sister that you could talk about the fact that maybe she should wait for #3 until her finances are in order?

katers1279

You just described my sister's life, to a T.  Only, she DID have the 3rd baby last week...and I have no idea how they're going to support any of the kids. 

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can say or do to change things.  I find my sister does thiese things for attention and the more I question them, the more attention she gets.  So, I'm happy for another nephew, but, I don't think it was a good idea...at ALL.

You made the wise decision to wait until you were ready/it was a good time.  Be proud of that. 

Kevin Mathewson

lyse2143:

Do you not have the type of relationship with your sister that you could talk about the fact that maybe she should wait for #3 until her finances are in order?

 My sister is one of my best friends.  But for some reason there is no reasoning with her on this one.  She thinks that no matter what you will always find a way.  I agree with this to an extent.  I think that when you have children you do what you have to to make things work, but I don't want to start off my childs life not being able to aford a place to live.

She always brings up our parents who had 3 kids way way way too young and how we made it.  This is true but I think she forgets how hard it way.  She is obviously forgetting that is was way too hard on our mom b/c she left us.  Besides, don't we all want better for our children?

lyse2143

I see what you mean. I know people like that who will never hear another person's opinion because they are already set in their way of thinking. It is too bad that she is choosing to struggle, but you are doing better for yourself and you should be really proud.

samarice

She had a baby right now why does she need another one so soon?!  I bet this is though though sorry. I think you did the right thing though, dh and I have been married for 3 years and that was good for us, we wanted to live married life before throwing a baby in, its a lot of work in itself. I wouldnt worry about her, just go on with your thing, people will be excited for you regardless of what happens with your sister, try not to stress over it too much

Kevin Mathewson

samarice:

She had a baby right now why does she need another one so soon?!  I bet this is though though sorry. I think you did the right thing though, dh and I have been married for 3 years and that was good for us, we wanted to live married life before throwing a baby in, its a lot of work in itself. I wouldnt worry about her, just go on with your thing, people will be excited for you regardless of what happens with your sister, try not to stress over it too much

 She has 2.  She had one 4 years ago.  She and her H had only been dating for about a year.  Then 2 months before their wedding she got pg again.  That baby is about 8 months.  Lord only knows why she needs another.  Don't get me wrong, I love my nephews more than anything, I just don't understand why she needs another.  DH thinks she said it just to say it.  He said she just can't stand for the attention to be on someone else.  I wouldn't doubt it.