i'm out. 5th time isn't the charm (updated)

Jodee37

**Update: HCG fell to 89 and I'm already bleeding. wishing you all the healthiest and happiest pregnancies and it was really nice to be able to sit here for the short while i did. i truly hope i get to be back. much love to you all.

well, it's not confirmed yet but i'm fairly certain i am out. again. POAS today and the digi calculator says 1-2 weeks instead of the 2-3 it said last week. of course i panicked and did a FRER and the test line is lighter than it was last week too. FUCK.

i am not bleeding but i'm also on prog supps TID. so there's that. going for beta again tomorrow (my betas have been really low but doubling). bracing myself for bad news.

not like i was ever feeling good about this pg after seeing those numbers. i stupidly thought since it was a fucking miracle i even got KTFU without IVF that this one would magically be a keeper. and since numbers are so low can't determine if this was a ute baby or a tube baby.

i'm so angry at the world. thanks for letting me vent and it was nice warm up this seat for all of 3 seconds. i'll update tomorrow when it is confirmed. 

:-<

KJsbabe

I'm mad at the world for you! This is so unfair I'm so, so sorry. I truly hope you are back again very soon with your rainbow-to-be. So many ((hugs)) I'll be thinking of you.

Jodee37

@kjsbabe i know. i am shaking my fist at the universe. how much shit must we take??

Danielle0311

I am so sorry, and I am mad at the world for you as well. It really isn't fair. Please take care of yourself, you are in my t&p's. ((Hugs))

haleyusf

((hugs)) I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

kefttsc

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It just isn't fair.

jlworden710

I'm so sorry. Sending you so many thoughts and hugs.

carlsonbaby2014

I am so, so sorry .

BluEyedGirl26

I'm so sorry. Big (((hugs)))

MrsHamon09

((Hugs)) I am so sorry

luciddreamer106

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I hope that things turn out ok and you get good news with the beta testing.

shandorfml2

I am so sorry...offering big (((hugs)))

co baby1

I am so sorry, sending you big ((hugs))

Mom2anAngel2

I am so sorry! This is so not fair.

chicagojackie

Sucks!! So sorry! Keep us posted

nohalo21

I'm so sorry :-( Sending hugs your way.

Jodee37

thanks everyone. i'm starting to cramp today. just waiting for this show to get on the road. let's see what tomorrow brings.

jap618

I'm thinking of you (((hugs))) and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

peggels24

I'm so very sorry

SamanthaLaura16

Sending Big ((Hugs)) your way. I am soo sorry.

maisonduchoco2

I'm so sorry, ::hugs::

MrsTuna08

I'm so sorry.  Big ((hugs)).

christia10

Hey I am mostly a lurker on here but I thought I'd share what JUST happened with me. I too used those tests to "monitor". I took one on a Thursday evening and said it was pg 3+ weeks. So I took one on a Sunday (after) and it said pg 2-3 weeks... I totally panicked but read several reviews online and on Amazon of women who took it the same. I waited til next day with fmu and sure enough 3+ again. I went to doc and my hcg was 6800 and two days later 18,000. I too have lost multiple pregnancies so I understand the super urge to test. That being said those things suck! They definitely don't indicate a mc as last Friday we heard the heartbeat 130bpm. So there is hope

BackstreetPixie

::just so many hugs::

Jodee37

thanks for all your love and warm thoughts. today another angel is looking down upon us. i am devastated.

Junebug060609

Lurking

Oh hun, I'm so incredibly heartbroken for you...there just aren't even words.  I seriously want to fly clear back over there to give you a huge hug...anything to maybe take a little of the hurt away. You guys are in my thoughts.

Samuelismomma

So sorry:( it is so unfair! Sending t&p's for you and your husband...

christia10

I am so very sorry. It is always so unfair. Nothing really ever makes me feel better. I hope you can get some rest and take some time. Praying for peace for you and your family.

Mel&John2013

I"m so very sorry for your loss.