How old is too old for tantrums?

WonderWomanAbbey

My almost five year old is really well-behaved, most of the time. He does what he's told, he remembers the rules. He gets whiny here or there, but if it's headed off quickly, he knocks it off.

I've been working on my own patience with him for a few months now - the pregnancy had me easily agitated and exhausted. But, we've been doing better.

Today, I took him to the park. He was playing with some kids and pushed another little boy going up the stairs - not cool. I told him to apologize and then sit on a bench for a couple of minutes until he remembered that pushing isn't okay. He's not a violent kid, so that surprised me, but what surprised me more was that when I sent him to the bench he started to have a meltdown. This is seriously uncommon for him, we see MAYBE one a week, and it's usually accompanied with exhaustion or needing to eat. And he usually pulls it together really quickly, after being warned once or twice, he's calm. Today, I don't know what happened, but I decided to just remove him completely. We left the park and he went to his room when we got home.

When asked, he can tell you that throwing fits doesn't get him his way and only puts him in more trouble. But if they know that, why do they still try it?

I kept my cool, but my preggo hormones were screaming right back at him in my head. Is 5 too old for tantrums?

bumpuser10199668

That's a really hard question to answer. Ideally, sure, five would be too old.  But that isn't how kids work.

Being 5 is hard work as it is, but especially with a baby on the way. I have one or two Kindergarteners who continued to have tantrums throughout the school year...so, I'd say it isn't out of the question that he'd still be having them.

Also, asking why he knows something but still tries it.....its because he's 5.  Logic and knowledge don't mean nearly as much as emotional reaction.

brittneyandadam

My DH still throws tantrums and he's 31...I mean he doesn't kick and scream, but he gets bitchtastic and pouts.

My point: Everyone has meltdowns at one point or another. I'm a FTM, but I'm going into this with the attitude that as my kid gets older, her outbursts will get less and less common. You said it's uncommon for YS, so I'd probably chalk it up to him dealing with some frustrations of losing his "only child" status and even his feelings of nervousness and excitement.

conradraging

My niece is the same age, and her brother is 1 and she still occasionally has tantrums, mostly because she's jealous of the baby.

WonderWomanAbbey

I appreciate the feedback! I guess when you take a step back and look at it - he's young and has a lot to deal with at the moment, and a baby coming is a big change after five years of being the only child. Getting his playtime taken away - even for a few minutes - is just something else going out of his control. Some days I want to throw tantrums myself...

Djcieply

brittneyandadam said:

My DH still throws tantrums and he's 31...I mean he doesn't kick and scream, but he gets bitchtastic and pouts.

My point: Everyone has meltdowns at one point or another. I'm a FTM, but I'm going into this with the attitude that as my kid gets older, her outbursts will get less and less common. You said it's uncommon for YS, so I'd probably chalk it up to him dealing with some frustrations of losing his "only child" status and even his feelings of nervousness and excitement.

This is exactly what I was going to say!

amom2four

My step-daughter is approaching 17 and still throws tantrums regularly.

I really wouldn't be worried about one here and there. There are different times where kids just get overwhelmed and are having a hard time whether it's from being tired, hungry or maybe the other kid said something to ys that upset him or even cut in front of him. It could be so many things or a combination of any of them.

You sound like you are on top of watching for patterns and should things become a regular occurance at any point, you will be right there ready to intervene.

rlyttle

Yes and no. Kids are going to throw a random tantrum for years to come. Adults do it! It's too old to be throwing a tantrum every time they don't get their way, but it not too old for an occasional tantrum. They are still trying to figure out their emotions too.

WonderWomanAbbey

So grateful for this mommy brigade we have here. It's especially helpful those days that I'm wanting to pull my hair out and cry at the same time for being the worst mom in the world.