October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
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TTC After a Loss
CheesyPeas
member
Intro - TTC after stillbirth
CheesyPeas
member
*ticker warning and living child mentioned*
Hi ladies. I'm a TTCALer (with a different user name) from back in late 2010/early 2011 (the Sham-Wow days, anyone?), and am unfortunately joining the board again if you'll have me.
A little about me. My husband and I are both 31 and currently residing in the midwest with our 2 year old son and two fur babies. My husband and I conceived our first angel shortly after getting married in 2010 but sadly suffered a missed miscarriage with a D&C at 10 weeks in November 2010. Following our loss, I joined this wonderful board and made lots of friends that continue to be an amazing support system for me to this day. I was able to conceive again with relative ease and went on to have my DS in October 2011. Given our luck conceiving easily twice, I thought trying for a sibling would be easy yet again but I was very wrong. Instead we struggled with infertility, joined the Secondary Infertility board on TB, and I fought with my body and its lousy excuse for a luteal phase cycle after cycle, growing more and more depressed with each one. And then, it happened. I finally got that BFP that I had been longing for and had a perfect pregnancy quite honestly, up until July 1st when my baby girl's movement started feeling off, and I couldn't get her to react to me at all. I thought I found her hb on my doppler that night, so I relaxed, chalked it up to inconsistent movement at 24 weeks gestation, and went to sleep that night. The next morning, I still couldn't get her to react and couldn't find her on the doppler. I found my own crazy high heartbeat a couple of times but noticed that I could slow it down with breathing and am now painfully aware that this is what must have happened the night before when I reassured myself that she was okay. She wasn't okay. I went in to my OB's office the morning of July 2nd and confirmed that my baby girl was gone. I was sent to the hospital for an induction shortly thereafter and delivered a 1 lb 1 oz, 11 inch long perfect baby girl that night. We named her Layla, and spent the next 12 hours holding her and loving her before we said our heartbreaking goodbyes.
My doctor ran lots of tests on me, the placenta, and some tissue from Layla, and unfortunately we don't have any real answers. The cord was around her neck when she came out but it wasn't tight, so my doctor doesn't seem very sure of that as a cause of death. My blood tests did show that I have one copy of a MTHFR mutation and a Protein S deficiency, but my levels were just slightly outside of the normal range and are known to be thrown off by pregnancy, so I will be retested later this month.
So now I wait. I wait for one more cycle before we're cleared to try again (my first AF just showed up yesterday), and I wait at least a month to know for sure what the protocol will be if we're able to conceive again. And I wait to see if my body perhaps wants to throw me a bone and say "let's just forget about all that infertility stuff this time around." And I watch the world full of pregnant women and newborns prance happily before me everywhere I go as the bitterness and sadness try to swallow me up.
So that's my story. I'm so sorry that all of you are here but I look forward to getting to know you and your stories over the coming days!
November 2010 - 10.5 week loss
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro - TTC after stillbirth
Wow, sorry that was long. It didn't seem that long as I was typing it! So here are some cookies:
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
DH: 45
BFP #1 3/19/14 EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
BFP #2 12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
Saw heartbeat 12/29. Please be a rainbow.
All welcome
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
DH & I are both 28 Together: 12 years Married: 09/24/2011
BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012
Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12
BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20
BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15
BFP 4/8/14, MMC 5/5/14, D&C 5/9/14
BFP 8/26/14 Due date 5/8/15
I'm so sorry for the loss of Layla. Beautiful name. I lost my son at 24w in Jan, it's been life changing.
I wish you the best. ((Hugs))
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013
BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)
BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014
BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!
My Chart
All are Welcome!
THE DARK SIDE IT IS
and GBCB
BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
~All AL always welcome~
Me: 31, DH: 30, Married July 2013
TTC since March 2014
BFP#1 5.17.14, EDD 1.26.15, MMC (measuring 6w3d at 8w3d), D&C 6.26.14
BFP#2 9.19.14, EDD 5.29.15, AF on 9.23.14 CP
BFP#3 12.17.14, EDD 8.25.15, AF on 12.21.14 CP#2
Current plan: TTC while waiting for RPL results to come back
Stalk my ute
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!
@PetraStonegirl and @MCH77, my former screen name was lindsey8301. It looks like I probably missed both of you on TTCAL though. My first loss wasn't until November 2010, so I think you graduated right before I joined, MCH77, but we probably hung out on PgAL if you were a regular there. Your name definitely looks familiar. And Petra, I exited this board in February 2011, so it looks like I missed you too but I definitely stalked the loss boards to follow certain people I had gotten to know well, so I got to "know" you too while I was being a creepy stalker in the shadows.
Edited to add: MCH, did you used to have a siggy picture with your cat/cats? Like laying in a window or something?
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Yes, I had my cats as my siggy.
Again, I'm so sorry you are here. I hope you are able to move on quickly.
((Hugs))
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
Married April 9, 2011
TTC since October 2011
Me 34, DH 40
IUI #5 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture Oct 24, 2014-->BFP!!! EDD July 17, 2015. Panorama=low risk...and it's a GIRL!
DD born July 10, 2015
--------------------------------------------------------
Trying for baby #2!
IUI #1 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture July 10, 2017-->BFP!!! EDD Apr 2, 2018. Panorama=low risk...and another GIRL!
My Ovulation Chart
Yep, I remember your siggy. I remember you popping back up on PAL while you were TTC, and I was really happy for you when I saw you conceived Timothy. I had grown a little discouraged by all the people with LOs much younger than mine who were getting KU while I was struggling, and you were one I was genuinely excited to see get a BFP.
I'm guessing this pic might've been in my siggy when we were on PgAL and PAL together (although I wasn't very active on PAL), so perhaps it will ring a bell:
I too am on a FB group with a lot of girls from TB that were due largely from October 2011 or so up until maybe mid-2012. We do have a couple of ladies on there with due dates around your July little guy too but they're largely a few months later. I'm sure I would recongize several people on your FB group and you would recognize several on mine. I bet we even share a FB friend or two
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
Started TTC Nov. 2011
1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d
08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN ,
10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
9/20/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d
10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
BFP#1 Oct/19/13, EDD June/27/14, MC began Dec/4/13 at 10w5d, sac measured 6w1d - blighted ovum, Misoprostol Dec/13/13 - nothing, bleeding, slow declining HCG, D&C Feb/6/14, HCG <1 Feb/18/14
My Ovulation Chart
When I lost my Zachary, one of the few things that made me feel better about moving forward with TTCAL was having a consult with an MFM and getting a game plan in place for a future pregnancy. There is so little we can control in any of this but knowing that a solid team is in place and what the plan was made me feel a little more in control.
More ((((hugs)))) an welcome back to the board.
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
My Ovulation Chart
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
Dx: PCOS/Unexplained
July '13 - Mar '14 - Letrozole and TI - BFN
April '14 - HSG - All clear - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFP
May '14 - Miscarriage 5w 3d
July '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFN
Aug '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFN
Sept '14 - Letrozole, Trigger and IUI - BFP
Beta 1 - 87 Beta 2 - 193 Beta 3 - 441
SA - All good
ALL Welcome
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss