when is baby coming home? — The Bump

when is baby coming home?

FI parents ask this question everyday - everytime we talk to them. It's such a sensitive question for me since I don't know when she'll be home and it makes me emotional thinking about how she's not with me. Having someone ask all the time makes it "real" that she's not with me. She's a late preterm baby but she's very little and in the incubator(though no lung issues). I know her stay will hopefully be shorter rather than longer and some or most of you have babies in the nicu longer....but how do you handle that question?
IAmPregnant Ticker}

Re: when is baby coming home?

  • Depending on my mood,

    I usually just go through what he has to do to go home and say there's not a date.  (he's passed the date that normally the babies go home)


    sometimes they ask me like every day..and if I'm feeling snarky, I say when he's ready, he really likes the nurses.
    [Deleted User]flerlgirl[Deleted User]
  • @jennl7 that's a great idea to have a caring bridge page.

    We do try to keep everyone included so they know what's going on but I feel very overwhelmed and emotional when they ask for a date. I don't even know when she'll be home...if i did I would have said she'd be home on x date. I guess it also reminds me that as soon as she's released everyone is gunna ask to comes see her and that gives me a lot of anxiety...
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
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  • Yeah, I always was just like, "they say it will be around her due date."  That's what they did say, and it was just lucky that a nurse happened to say to me that they probably wouldn't keep her around much longer because she was eating...  One day after she said that, we were home, much earlier than her due date.  If you want to talk more, you can say, we're just waiting on him being able to get through 24 hours of full feeds or whatever.  
  • We keep them updated on her progress as much as possible and they get a call everyday. We tell them the nicu won't say a date she'll be home because it's up to her but they still ask for a date anyway. I'm getting irritated however FI doesn't seem to mind.

    I'm very anxious about her coming home and them asking constantly to visit her...but that was expected anyway since i had anxiety about that when i thought she'd be full term
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • I usually said "hopefully before their due date". The NICU was also at capacity for most of our stay which meant no visitors other than parents. It was a wonderful built-in excuse.

    Since they were feeders/growers w no major medical problems, everyone wanted to come see them when they came home. That was harder to control than the NICU stay itself. I have a hard time saying no and w twins and a big one, I did need the help but it was still overwhelming. I did make sure to ask everyone to wash their hands and use lots of hand sanitizer.

  • I answered differently depending on where we were, how stressed I was, what the timeframe actually was. But if they are asking everyday, and it's bothering you, I'd kindly tell them to stop asking. Tell them you will let them know as soon as you have new information, but the daily asking is wearing you down.
    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers
    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

  • We visited FI parents yest to drop off some pictures and discuss emmas progress. As the conversation went on they started saying they'll come over for visits often (when she comes home) and they'll take me to the hospital to pick her up when she comes home since I can't drive for awhile and FI is going back to work. It made me very anxious. I don't mind giving updates and generalized info but every update we give spurs into "oh so she'll be home soon" or "so have they given you a day she'll come home?" I'm not sure why the update wouldn'tbe good enough... :/ I have FI fi elderly the calls and since he's going back to work tomorrow his dad said he'll back off the daily calls so at least there's that...and since FI works all day he'll be able to call and talk without me over hearing..
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • I HATED this question from people! It was so emotional for me, especially as time went on and we still didn't know (we ended up with a 115 day NICU stay). I just tried to remind myself that people really only meant well/hopeful when they asked. My response was simply "We aren't sure yet, but we'll be sure to tell everyone when we know."
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