My ILs (especially my MIL) are really starting to create problems between DH and I. I am at the point where I do not even want to go to Texas in October. DH thinks I am over reacting, please tell me if I am. I cannot take their political ideology that is repeatedly shoved down our throats. Without fail every time we visit them or they visit us...they have to make stupid little comments here and there regarding politics/current events. Politics are even brought up at the dinner table. I feel like I am going to explode at them if this happens when we visit. DH says to ignore it, but I do not think I can anymore. Do any of your ILs act this way? DH and I are starting to really fight about this, whereas in the past I've ignored my ILs when they get into their rants.
Should I simply suck it up and ignore them?
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sibling love
Re: Fighting with DH over ILs.
My question to you is -- do you think they do it specifically to upset you or cause angst or to get you going? Also, do they say anything that would be categorized as prejudiced or worse? My answer will depend on that.
My grandparents used to make racist comments and my mother simply told them that that's not how we were being raised and they were not allowed to speak that way around us. When she packed us up and left once after repeated warnings, they got it and it stuck.
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sibling love
Honestly, if they are not doing it specifically to upset you, I'd just roll with it for the most part -- unless they say something out of line. I would suggest coming to a compromise with your husband. You will just ignore it unless they say A, B, or C, whatever those important things might be. You know best the hot topics that come up and whether or not they are truly important enough to say "that is an unacceptable topic."
FWIW, all of my MIL's siblings (so my husband's aunts and uncles) are polar opposite in terms of politics from me, my husband, and my MIL. When they start their rants, I typically excuse myself. It's an effective way to let them know that I disagree but am taking the high road and not getting into with them.
ETA missing word
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sibling love
They can talk politics and religion all they want.
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sibling love
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sibling love
I completely understand you not wanting to go on this visit if this is how they act but I agree with PP that it may just make the situation worse by not going. Every time they get a rise out of you it makes them want to do it again. Imagine how they will interpret you not coming on the visit - to crazy people like this that is the biggest rise of all.
Also, I understand what you're saying about it being a subjective argument and some people are more knowledgeable -- and that might make it intimidating to discuss for some people. However, if I know anything about @ccip82, it's that she is an intelligent person, particularly about the world around her. More so than most people, I would guess. So this wouldn't really apply to her either.
(And I'm guessing you didn't read the part about what I actually do when things like this happen around me with my husband's extended family. I don't have to have a heated debate on everything. I definitely pick my battles.)
I'm not saying bend over and take it in the ass over everything! One particular subject? Yes. That's just me. I hate conflict, tho. Hate it...ruins my day.
Ok.... but if it's bothering her enough that she is considering not going, wouldn't you say that it's kind of a big deal?
Again, I understand your point of view for yourself. I'm just trying to get you to see it from her point of view. This is something that she cares about.
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sibling love
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sibling love
Turn it into a drinking game. Everytime someone says something offensive take a drink. You'll end up all shmammered.
PCOS diagnosed secondary infertility
BFP #1 (letrozole 2.5mg + ovidrel) February 2016, MMC April 2016 @ 7 weeks
BFP #2 (letrozole 5mg + ovidrel) July 2016, Beta #1 359, Beta #2 745, Beta #3 11484
EDD April 9th, 2017
In the past I've just ignored these comments or changed the subject to keep the peace because it just wasn't worth it. We really don't spend much time with them and it's not like we will ever be close. Now that DD is here I'm struggling with how to address it. I really don't want her to be exposed to those values but I know they will not be happy being told what to do around their granddaughter.
@ccip82
I hope your visit is tolerable and you're able to find a way to either address it with them or to just make it through.
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sibling love
Baby Chugging born 12.28.13
induction due to HELLP