Can someone please... (Vent)

BdblZ

...call my mom & explain to her why the 2 car seats she saved from my brother and I (who are now 33 & 29) are no longer "perfectly good". @-)

I did my best last night but had to get off the phone before I started banging my head against the wall. She is of the opinion that the "7 year" guideline was just arbitrarily made up by the "car seat people" to make more money.

I know she's just overly excited about her grand baby, and while I am not above a bargain or a hand-me-down (I'm a little scared too see what else she has saved), baby safety is just one thing I'm not going to compromise about.

Here's to also hoping the stubborn gene that runs strong and deep in my side if the family decides to skip the next generation :-<

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Kmm1023

Wow! That is crazy lol

RayRay007

I just don't understand people who keep shit around for 30 years (ahem, MIL). 

This sounds like a topic I'd just refuse to discuss. Don't try to explain it to her. 

bombe4

Wow, that is crazy that she kept the car seats for so long!

AllTheTeaInChina

Does she drive the same car from 30yrs ago? Safety advances & technology have changed so much, same applies to car seats. What was safe then is no longer safe now.

If she insists on giving them to you, take them and trade in at BRU at their next trade in event.

BdblZ

alissendis said:

Presuming you're from the same generation as me, car safety + kids then was not exactly what it is today. I remember MANY instances of my sisters and me chilling in the back of our station wagon, seatbelt-free, at risk of serious injury if we were ever in an accident. And there were no booster seats.

Definitely put your foot down, haha. Just smile and nod... and then buy a new car seat.

This is definitely true - i know as an infant I was transported around in an unsecured Noah basket placed between the two captain seats in the front of my dad's truck!  

BdblZ

twolittledogs said:

https://blog.isisparenting.com/why-do-car-seats-expire/

I emailed her that link...

(Now awaits phone call for instruction on "how do I read that email you sent me")  LOL

I love my mom to pieces and she would do anything for DH and I, but sometimes I think a class on how 1985 =/= 2014 would be more than appropriate for her!  

erien

Wow.  Just wow.  You don't need to explain yourself, but for starters, you can tell her that they will not let you leave the hospital with an expired car seat....so.....yeah, it's a no go.  Although I'd love to see a picture of the relic(s) if possible!  I have an vision of what I probably rode around in but I really have no clue what carseats from the vintage were like. 

allonsyalonso

In addition to what others have already said, make sure she knows that she will not be allowed to use the seats in her own car, either.

BdblZ

erien said:

Wow.  Just wow.  You don't need to explain yourself, but for starters, you can tell her that they will not let you leave the hospital with an expired car seat....so.....yeah, it's a no go.  Although I'd love to see a picture of the relic(s) if possible!  I have an vision of what I probably rode around in but I really have no clue what carseats from the vintage were like. 

I'm stopping by on Saturday to see what other treasures her and my dad pulled out of storage.  I will def try to get a pic of them, and anything else worth while.  

Maybe I should just go with a whole "Vintage Baby theme"?  

CandEChicago

I like the point about not having the same car as 30 years ago and that tge hospital will not approve it as well. Plastic becomes brittle. Elastic looks it's stretch.

Offer to take them from her so you can get store credit for the trade in. Then she feels like she has still contributed. (This is assuming that she doesn't have an extra special attachment to them.)

Cryssteen

I'm finally thankful that my mom throws everything out... like even the cup you're currently using.

BdblZ

Good tips on using them for trade-in credit - I was not aware that was even an option.  (Although would they take ones that are that old?)

freakyfast

I lol'd at this.  It is sweet, but dang.  Time to throw some things away. 

AllTheTeaInChina

BdblZ said:

Good tips on using them for trade-in credit - I was not aware that was even an option.  (Although would they take ones that are that old?)

I've never traded anything myself but believe they destroy old gear. There should be one coming up soon, sometime this fall.

brittandjp

I'm amazed she's kept them that long!! I could be wrong, but do they not have expiration dates on older car seats?

There are several things you could tell her:

(Pretending to be totally naïve) I was thinking about using the seats, but then oh my gosh, I just heard about the worst story (an reference some story about an expired car seat causing harm).

I was reading up about car seats and the hospital won't even let me take the baby home in an expired seat. (This is a legit excuse).

Or just have her do a simple google search - expired car seat safety - and TONS of information will come up!

RayRay007

brittandjp said:

I'm amazed she's kept them that long!! I could be wrong, but do they not have expiration dates on older car seats?

There are several things you could tell her:

(Pretending to be totally naïve) I was thinking about using the seats, but then oh my gosh, I just heard about the worst story (an reference some story about an expired car seat causing harm).

I was reading up about car seats and the hospital won't even let me take the baby home in an expired seat. (This is a legit excuse).

Or just have her do a simple google search - expired car seat safety - and TONS of information will come up!

They probably didn't have expiration dates on seats back then. 

AllTheTeaInChina

I just remembered seeing crash videos with expired seats. You can see the harness rip through the shell.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wvCRz7BRAM0

Cheekers2010

Omg! Sounds like my mom. She saved a bunch if my plastic toys from 30+years ago. Who the heck knows what was in the plastic back then and how it's broken down at this point. Eeeeek

RayRay007

Cheekers2010 said: Omg! Sounds like my mom. She saved a bunch if my plastic toys from 30+years ago. Who the heck knows what was in the plastic back then and how it's broken down at this point. Eeeeek -----------------quote fail------------------------

MIL had a bunch of plastic toys from when DH was a kid that she brought out when DD was littler and still putting toys in her mouth. Some of them were cars (think Little People) with metal axles. I took those out of the mix, but still made sure she wasn't putting any of the toys in her mouth. 

agsgrrl

Man, as a 29 year old I'm trying to remember ever being in a car seat...hmmmm :-/

emp156

ha! i'm with the others who are amazed that she kept the car seats that long. would make me nervous to find out what else is lurking in storage... 

also, good thought to the person who said to make sure mom doesn't try to just use those car seats in her car w/ your kid! eeek

Beevol

As my southern coworkers would say, "bless her heart." My best advice, thank her graciously and then pitch them! 

My grandma kept a carseat that she bought when she first became a grandmother 32 years ago and I finally got her to throw it away when I had my daughter with a promise of making sure that DH or I would always be able to put a car seat in her car for her when she watched our kids. 

That being said, DD definitely wore a bunch of super cute overalls that my MIL saved from when DH wore them. 

mlee116

Are you sure she is not related to my MIL?  My MIL didn't save everything (thank God), but she must've said 100x that she wish she had saved DH's playpen because he "really enjoyed it as a baby and I think Samuel would too!"  The dang playpen belonged to her sister and was used for her kids, who are now almost 50.  Um, no, I think we can splurge on a newer one.

ColeyCannoli

I know you are frustrated but your mom sounds pretty adorable. I had a similar situation with a friend who saw his neighbor was throwing out their kid's car seat and wanted to pick it up for me. Took me a little longer than it should have to explain why that was a terrible idea :P

At least she loves ya and wants to help. But if she won't let it go, simply take it and trade it in. Hey, you might get some money from it! 

Eora3

Honestly, I don't know why you are bothering to argue about it. By entertaining this type of nonsense you are giving her the idea that she gets a vote. Put your "mom hat" on and tell her that your child will not be using unsafe expired products and that is the end of the discussion. Stop the drama. Just say no and stop talking about it.

Also, on a side note you need to think twice about using her for childcare if her judgement is that poor and she is that insistent on outdated and dangerous childcare practices.

nolanova85

Bless her heart.

My mom remains in constant amazement at how different things are today than they were with my brother and I (28 &30).  Yesterday I sent her the BeBeVue video of our anatomy scan (my office provides them free).  Mind = blown.  She moves with the times pretty well, but this baby stuff is just crazy to her.

RayRay007

Lol check out these old car seats https://www.babble.com/baby/history-of-the-car-seat/ 

abcmom12

lol did she save your drop down side cribs too?

BdblZ

abcmom12 said:

lol did she save your drop down side cribs too?

LOL  yes, yes she did!!  Our saving grace there was there is some piece missing, rendering the crib useless.  I was super upset about that (as i'm sure you can all imagine)

LinziLoo09

Haha that's sweet she wants to help at least. If all reasoning and logic fails, accept the car seats, toss them, and install a new safety-approved seat in your car anyways. Good luck!

mrsshour

Ok, so my husband has the same issue. He hates that they "expire". The expiration dates are REAL as far as the longevity of the safety of the material. They might be able to make a better plastic, etc for the car seats so they last longer but they don't. Maybe it has to do with money. But the fact of the matter is that the integrity of the car seat is compromised after so long.
Also, once the straps are washed with anything but a damp towel they are technically void of warranty. Just like the regular seat belts in cars.

MissMeegs

Oh, your mom is too cute.

Is it 7 years? Can someone please tell my friend that? She's expecting her second in September, and her daughter only just turned 3, but she is CONVINCED that her infant carseat has expired and she needs a new one. I mean, it's not my money, but I keep telling her that I'm sure carseats are usable for longer than 3 years, but she completely denies this.

I don't know why it bothers me, hehe...I think she's just one of those people who is so convinced she's right about everything, and I am also one of those people, so I feel I must convince her!