Rude comments

ssm1218

Has anyone experienced rude comments from total strangers on how big you look? I don't feel I look any bigger than normal for 20 wks but the most recent comment from a guy who installed my dog fence "you're the biggest I've ever seen, are you being active, are you working out" is making me feel like maybe I do look like a whale. I have received two other comments (both from random strangers -men). Has anyone else experienced this?

lionyloo32

Thank God, no! I'd slap someone. Totally uncalled for and seriously not their effing business how "big" you are!! Sorry people are twatwaffles.

Sweetsix06

People always ask if there's two in there. I think it's cause my arms and legs are still thin, so it makes my round belly look bigger.

Just throw your middle finger up at him if he says anything else. What a jerk face. Yes, we're pregnant, not sure why randos feel the need to say anything to a pregnant woman.

LilnNimoy

A guy I work with asked me if I was getting fat or what exactly was going on around "there". With about two additional minutes of inappropriate comments.

What my nice cousin said was: people don't always know the right thing to say but they sure always know the wrong thing!

CandEChicago

alexiab421 said:

Has anyone experienced rude comments from total strangers on how big you look? I don't feel I look any bigger than normal for 20 wks but the most recent comment from a guy who installed my dog fence "you're the biggest I've ever seen, are you being active, are you working out" is making me feel like maybe I do look like a whale. I have received two other comments (both from random strangers -men). Has anyone else experienced this?

This is your first discussion... so welcome to the board and congrats!

Nope...closest I got was my mom's contractor telling me that he wouldn't want to knock a pregnant woman off their pedestal (I was on a step ladder).  I made sure he knew that the comment was completely uncalled for. 

ssm1218

Thanks everyone.. Just makes you wonder if some people were raised by wolves... Like hello!!! What is wrong with you!!! Did you mean to say that out loud or do you have Tourette's?!? And you look further along than me and you aren't pregnant so keep your comments to yourself!

allfalldown14

I get a lot of comments saying I carry "around" or "side to side" instead of all in the front. I always smile and nod, but inside I'm thinking "wow, thanks for telling me my hips are huge".  

Smoby1231

I had a few nasty comments last time around. One lady put her hand on my bump and told me I was about to burst any minute! (I was only about 25 weeks) I then reached over put my hand on her stomach and said "I'm pregnant what's your excuse?" This was probably a little over the top but I was totally over the comments!

ssm1218

Love that comeback! I'm going to start using it! Maybe it is over the top but it might make them think twice the next time they risk saying something stupid.

ssm1218

Ugh stupid people - I just don't understand why your body now that it is "with child" becomes "open bar" for anyone and everyone's thoughts!

LinziLoo09

I don't think I've really gotten any rude comments about how I look yet -- except my cycle instructor who keeps telling me "It's gonna be twins. A boy and a girl". But I think that's based more on his naivety about medical technology (he doesn't realize that we can totally tell there's ONLY one in there lol) than about my size. I've heard repeated stories, though, of these types of rude comments. My plan for belly rubs is to rub their belly back --- I already did it to my mom when she rubbed me out of nowhere. If they ask if I have twins, I'll ask, "No, are you?". And another just-to-make-them-uncomfortable statement...if they comment on my size, I want to say, "Well the antichrist demands spacious quarters." And then walk away.

nbateman5

people are such douche bags, its that way with every life changing event you're about to go through..

getting married: "don't do it, things will never be the same", "get out while you can", "I thought you didn't want to get married", etc. etc.

getting pregnant: "you barely look pregnant" is just as bad as "are you sure you're not having twins", F off!

having a baby: "enjoy your life in peace and quiet now", "go on a babymoon before your life changes", "things will never be the same", "enjoy your sleep now while you can"

next time someone says something about how drastically my life is going to change, I think I'm going to throw them off by telling them not really I'm a surrogate, LOL!

nbateman5

or my favorite was things two people said to me at the gym (after I lost 60lbs and kept it off for three years before getting pregnant):

"I didn't think you'd let all your progress go to waste"

and

"I thought to myself, hmm...well she is putting on weight, maybe she's pregnant"

ugh

britgil89

A coworker told me yesterday he has to respect me now that I'm pregnant. I didn't let it get to me though, some men just don't know how to speak! Glad mine is not one of them

nopegoat

Yep. I got a ton with both my boys and I am waiting for them to start this time. People are stupid and have no filter. As annoying as it is I just try to brush it off.

desireeariel

I hate the "you don't look pregnant" comments. Knife through the heart. Thanks for telling me I just look fatter. Thank you so fucking much.

colliebabe

I haven't yet this time around, but last time I did as I got further along. This time if anyone says anything I plan on using the line "just because I am pregnant does not give you the right to comment on my body."

Oh I did have a woman at the gym say "so much for that beautiful figure, huh?" before I was even showing and I just said "no, I think I'll keep it. Not everyone turns into a fat slob while pregnant."

Kmm1023

Only rude comment was from DH's brother about how DH finally figured out how to knock me up. He said he was thinking he was going to have to step in and show him how it's done! GAG!

brittandjp

Sort of.

I've had several strangers act shocked when I tell the how far along I am. This has happened at various stages throughout my pregnancy, but I've always looked at likes 8-10 weeks farther along than I am. It's usually something along the lines of, "Oh you look so great! or What an adorable bump!" Followed by, "So when are you due? or How far along are you?" When I answer their question it is ALWAYS followed by, "Oh, wow!" or something along those lines.

My coworker that KNEW I was pregnant on one of the last days of school before I quit teaching (I was around 11weeks or so) saw me that morning and literally said, "Oh wow! You must not want to hide it anymore! I assume you're telling people now then?" in reference to my at the time extremely bloated baby blump.

I swear, some people are SO rude and just have NO FILTER!

katiescarlett1

I get the opposite..."Your belly is tiny. You don't look pregnant. Are you sure she's in there?" yada yada.

 It's hurtful too because a) It makes me as a FTM worry that my baby is too small and b) I may not be thin but I did NOT have this freaking belly 21 weeks ago, thank you very much!

They should try YOU LOOK PRETTY (may also substitute with gorgeous, lovely, glowing, wonderful...)        Is that so hard???? Hahaha.

mothstothemoon

I know it's right in the throws iof summer, people, and yes, it's awfully hard to put your mind in December when winter seems so far away but for fucks sake! I get asked daily when in due and the response is always the same "oh wow you've got a long way to go" followed by a comment on how huge I am and how miserable I will be by the end.

We are half way done and I feel like my belly is reasonable (very much like a soccer ball strapped to my body, but reasonable) for being about 5 months.

I was super fit and worked around a lot of the public in workout gear so I guess it's just a bfd digesting my body before and my body now.



My comeback is now: Since I keep getting comments like that, thank god I'll be really big in winter then I'll just snuggle up and not leave my house for the last 2 months and hear to everyone's opinion on my body!

brookey79

I've had many of these comments throughout my pregnancy.  I started showing early (I am quite small and put on 6 pounds in the first trimester), and co-workers started commenting on my belly at 11 weeks before I wanted to announce.

I was at the gym last week and a stranger came and asked me how far along I was. When I said just shy of 5 months, she looked aghast and replied "Well some people just pop early".  

Cheekers2010

Is that for real! Oh my goodness. I thought the "you must be having twins" comments were bad. I have no idea why people think it's appropriate to comment on you being "fat". I don't mind the wow your belly sure popped comments but anything else is ridic.

agsgrrl

Good lord people are stupid! I don't think I've had much said to me that was rude, maybe the stereotypical nice Portland thing is true... Or I might just be lucky that I'm usually standing behind people and that I'm in charge of their appearance....

allfalldown14

alissendis said:

katiescarlett1 said:

They should try YOU LOOK PRETTY (may also substitute with gorgeous, lovely, glowing, wonderful...)        Is that so hard???? Hahaha.

My doctor, an extremely bubbly woman who seems to always be in a good mood, greeted me at my appointment this week with, "Wow, you look GREAT!" It made me feel like I could take on the world. Her attitude is 100% the reason why I opted for shared care (meaning she, my family doctor, will be the one to do almost all of my prenatal care, and the OB will only take over at 30 weeks).

This reminds me of my OBGYN. She's so bubbly and when she enters the room she just puts me at ease and makes me feel like everything is just groovy. She always tells me I look amazing. It's nice especially after baby's dad says "Wow, I remember when this was flat" while pointing at my growing belly. 

haleyusf

I started getting a lot of comments this week; guess I popped! It's obnoxious, but I know baby is healthy and my doc hasn't said a word to me about weight gain. Not going to worry myself about it either!

kgoodnow

I had a patient ask me when I was due I told her December and she was like ohhhhh I would have thought September. I was like nope just extra fat. So rude!!!

jray6456

Smoby1231 said:

I had a few nasty comments last time around. One lady put her hand on my bump and told me I was about to burst any minute! (I was only about 25 weeks) I then reached over put my hand on her stomach and said "I'm pregnant what's your excuse?" This was probably a little over the top but I was totally over the comments!

You're my hero lol

ajlmom

People need to keep their comments to themselves!

I got commented on how small my bump is the other day. I googled 20 week bump and feel that I'm right on track. I'm a FTM so must be on the smaller side. I know I'm bigger than my SIL when she was 20 weeks with my niece last yr.

LeviJeans

So here is my favorite youtuber that explains my feelings on what not to say to a pregnant woman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD621xdQpdE

ssm1218

Haha this sums it all up!

BrainCellSup

brittandjp said:

My coworker that KNEW I was pregnant on one of the last days of school before I quit teaching (I was around 11weeks or so) saw me that morning and literally said, "Oh wow! You must not want to hide it anymore! I assume you're telling people now then?" in reference to my at the time extremely bloated baby blump.

I swear, some people are SO rude and just have NO FILTER!

Wait, so what did she think, that you clearly didn't want to hide it anymore so you let your belly get bloated? All these comments are plainly rude, but even more they assume there's some sort of control that pregnant women have over this, or that what, we're lying about when we're due? People suck.

One co-worker asked if I was getting fat, with a wink wink look but dude, what if I was just getting fat? So cruel.

emilyrmaila

Oh I got told by a plus size girl ( not judging but she was bigger than me and im the one whos 21 weeks pregnant was a size 14 pre baby) that I'm too fat to be wearing tight shirts and shorts and should real not be stuffing my face with food but instead should be going days without eating. She was a complete stranger i saw while waiting to take my nursing boards when i told her i was pregnant all she said was oh and i should still consider a diet..... I've gained 13 lbs my whole pregnancy. .... People are Dicks!

ssm1218

Omg that is terrible! I'm sorry. I'm glad I put this out there - clearly there are just a lot of stupid ppl out there! I don't feel alone anymore!

emilyrmaila

There really are and it comes from people who shouldn't be judging others. Maybe they feel judged and have to pass it along. .. Who knows!

emilyrmaila

She really was and I was minding my own business her comments were completely unsolicited

agsgrrl

emilyrmaila said:

She really was and I was minding my own business her comments were completely unsolicited

You shoulda told her she should try a muzzle so she can stop eating and talking!!

Drgn30

it's pretty mild, but when my coworker stares at my ever-expanding boobs then makes a comment about how i shouldn't be pouring myself a cup of coffee  -  i want to stab him

tracey525

I haven't gotten any comments from strangers, but I've gotten a few from family members (this is probably a whole other topic)... namely: "You're getting wider. You're just like me when I was pregnant. You won't have the nice little basketball bump. Your hips and butt and legs will all get huge, too." Awesome. As if I didn't already feel self-conscious - that was in the middle of the "is she pregnant or just gaining weight" look. At least now I feel like I look pregnant, even if it's a wide pregnant.

Mariadot

This is a great blog post about this!! Made me feel so much better and appreciate after getting the comments "are there two in there?" "You are huge"
https://blog.ericasara.com/2014/07/i-look-big-thank-you.html?m=1

ECCostelloe

I had a coworker question my coffee one morning. That was irritating. And my boss "wasn't convinced" by my bump until this week, apparently. That made me feel like she thought I'd just always had a beer gut.

No comments from strangers yet. Is anyone else in the PNW? I feel like people in Seattle and Portland aren't really the type to go out of their way to comment on pregnant women, but maybe I've just been lucky.