Elias Josiah's Birth Story (ADC1979)

ADC1979 · July 2014

Hi All!

First, congrats to all who have new squishies since I was last able to really read here...it's been intense since my labor started and I've only had time to glance at the forum. I'd really been hoping to keep up and see how things were going with other moms, but was not meant to be! I'll have to catch up and read all the great birth stories over the next several days while I keep my giant clown-shoe-sized feet relaxing.

Here is the long, crazy story of my baby's arrival in the world.

My OB scheduled me for a membrane sweep on Wednesday, 7/23 since baby was overdue at that point and I really hadn't had any signs of labor. My OB was concerned because I'm over 35, I had scoliosis surgery, and it was hard for her to tell how big he was, too! While there, we also scheduled a growth u/s for Thursday morning in case the membrane sweep didn't do much. Aside from that, baby was sounding happy on Wednesday.

DH and I went home (well, after I demanded a chocolate milkshake to ease how I felt about the membrane sweep. I deserved at least dinner and a movie from my OB.) DH had some work to do so he did that, and at about 3 PM I decided I wanted to take a nap because I was tired from not sleeping a whole lot the previous night. So I laid down, relaxed...and then the back labor hit. It wasn't super close, but at about every 10-15 minutes it was enough to piss me off that I couldn't sleep. I wasn't having any contractions in the front of me, so I was also annoyed that it meant that not a lot was happening!

The back labor continued, and at about 5 PM I dredged myself out of bed and had dinner. The back labor continued to become more annoying and painful, so I asked DH to call L&D to see what they thought--my back contractions were anywhere from 6-15 minutes apart, but they were starting to feel like someone was trying to forcibly pull my spine from my back. DH spoke to a nurse around 7:30, and they said go ahead and come in to be evaluated.

We arrived at the hospital at around 8:30 and were checked out. A nurse called my OB to see if I should go home after they discovered I was only 3 cm dilated. I was terrified they'd say to labor at home--I was in so much pain, I knew that would be a bad idea. My OB said that since I was overdue and in a lot of pain, that I should stay.

My Mom arrived to help out with labor, so that was good. Back contractions continued to ramp up. An anesthesiologist came by to evaluate me since they knew of my history with scoliosis surgery. He took a look, declared "Oh yeah, we can do an epi, no problem. It may have spotty coverage, but it might help." In the meantime, they gave me Staydol which had this effect on me, but did nothing at all about the pain:

I pretty much only had Staydol from around midnight on Wednesday until baby came on Thursday night. Sadly for me, after several doses it lost the trippin' part of it. I went from having awesome waking dreams about 1980s toys getting stuck in hurricane fencing and monster trucks to...no relief at all.

As the hours wore on, we tried every trick in our Hypnobirthing arsenal. We tried visualization. (The only visualization that vaguely worked was one I made up on my own, where I became a fire-breathing dragon. That one stopped working after one use, though.) We used relaxation scripts. We used calming music. We even used calming scents. But none of those could have any effect on the back labor. It was too intense. Sometimes I hurt so badly and moved so much that baby's monitor would get knocked out of place and we'd think he was in distress, but he at least was handling it all fine. This mom, not so much.

Going to the bathroom, which I had to do a LOT or any urine in my bladder made the contractions so much worse, started to become referred to by me as Adventure Time. I explained it to my husband it was because it was like going on a very long journey with a hobbit who couldn't walk. My DH and mom had to help me to the bathroom each time, and often had to hold me up as contractions hit while trying to use the restroom.

But then I'd have to use the restroom again, and we'd have a new chapter in our epic saga.

My nurses continued to evaluate me throughout the day. Thursday morning, I had only gotten to about 4 cm. By late Thursday afternoon, I was 5 cm. Another anesthesiologist came by to evaluate me. After looking at my scar, he said under no circumstances would he do an epidural. He said there was too much risk for it to harm me more than help me. Because I was desperate and in pain, I asked for another opinion, so after a bit another anesthesiologist came down and had a look. She agreed that an epidural wouldn't work, and they were also unsure if a spinal would work or not.

By that time, I'd been in labor for over 24 hours with no actual pain relief (the Staydol did not count since it did nothing.) I had been shaking uncontrollably since early Thursday morning, and I was getting weaker by the minute. Baby wasn't in distress, but I was getting to the point where I didn't think I could go on anymore. I was on the verge of collapse. I was so weak I thought I was going to die. I couldn't really get around or move on my own anymore.

(As an aside, part of it was my own fault. When they would ask for a pain score, I was under-rating it because I'm a FTM and I thought it was supposed to get worse. Apparently I was already there.)

My OB arrived, and she didn't like how I looked so she said we needed to get something moving. The max I had dilated was to 5, and while baby was happy, I wasn't. My OB said that we could up the amount of pitocin I was receiving and do something else that I now can't remember, but she said it would make the contractions come faster. I knew if we took that option, it would probably kill me. I don't say that lightly. I was so kitten-weak and unwell that I think it was true.

I didn't have c-section as an option on my Birth Plan, because all along we thought I'd be able to be vaginal. I wasn't attached to that idea, though. I was desperate to be okay and alive so I could see my baby. After a quick huddle with my DH and Mom, we asked my OB if we could try for a c-section. I don't remember her reaction, but she said that was fine and they started to prep me for it. I had to wait for another mom to finish in the OR, then they started to take me in.

I was still on the Staydol, so things looked very surreal to me. I remember clearly thinking the OR looked like where alien abductions could take place. My OB literally held me in her arms while the anesthesiologist tried to apply the spinal. But my body can't make a C-curl, and no matter how much we tried, it wouldn't take. I vaguely remember them saying they were sorry but they had to use general anesthesia. I was fine with that. My last memory was them giving me oxygen while struggling against another terrible contraction that left me writhing on the OR table like a fish out of water.

The anesthesiologist was apparently a rock star with a lot of compassion. He let my DH come into the OR (but not see behind the drape) because he knew we'd been laboring for more than 28 hours and that he was so worried for me. DH got to see our baby come into the world, but he told me that didn't really make him happy because he wanted me to be okay and awake.

They took me into a recovery room and they cleaned baby up and made sure he was well. After about a half hour, they brought him to me. My DH was there with me, and according to him I was awake. But I wasn't fully aware yet because I could only answer very simple questions. But our son was able to have skin-to-skin and had his first feeding.

I really woke up in the Recovery Room a couple hours later, around 11:00 PM. (He was born at 8:15 PM.) I was so confused and out of it I kept thinking it was Friday at 11 PM. (I'm still not sure what day it is half the time right now.) DH stayed with me, and they even let my frantic mom come in to make sure I was okay. My poor Mom kept having flashbacks to my back surgery when I was 12, and she had to know that I was okay. She and my Dad had gotten to see our baby go to the nursery, but now she had to make sure that her baby was okay, too!

After a bit, they took me out of the Recovery Room to a real hospital room. They brought my baby in to see me, but I was still extremely weak and out of it. I was receiving fluids, Morphine, and something else in IV to keep me together. I was so happy to see that my baby was okay and happy--he weathered everything much better than his Mom did.

So, with that we got to tell the world that his name was Elias Josiah, and he was our little miracle.

Later, as more information got to me, I found out how serious things really were without any of us knowing it. My OB wasn't even aware, until she went in for the c-section. So this is what was causing all the problems:

Elias was posterior, which we knew, but his chin was tipped back slightly. I have 14 inch long Harrington rods in my spine, which go all the way down to my tailbone. All my insides are pushed slightly forward, including any babies who happen to be inside me. This got him out of place for a good delivery, despite being fully engaged. He was stuck in a way that would never have allowed him to come out vaginally. So if I had continued to labor, I would have eventually become too exhausted because I would never progress. I would have had to have a c-section no matter what, but if we'd waited too long it could have been too late for me to make a recovery from it.

So that's the long explanation of Elias's birth which would make an excellent Lifetime Channel TV movie, I think.

Here are some pictures of my little squish. I love him so very much, and I'm so very happy that I am still here to be around with him and his Daddy! He feeds like a little champion and is my angel.

ADC1979 · July 2014

And here is another picture that I couldn't get to attach to my post. This is the one day at the hospital I put on actual clothes for a couple hours. Otherwise, could not be bothered. Love my little sweetie so much!