Should we decline gifts? If so, how?

kak808

The present thread + the 6-12 month gear thread + 3 birthday parties in 3 weeks got me thinking. We really don't want LO to have tons of stuff and toys. She's got a few toys now and is happy, though obviously we will need to get some new things as she gets older. We are having a big baptism in a month and suspect a lot of people will want to give gifts. The issue will be even bigger when we get to the first birthday, which will be another very big gathering. (Each event will prob be 100+ people)

Should we say no gifts on the invite? Should we give a charity to donate to as an alternative? Will people think we are killjoys and we should just graciously accept whatever we get and then possibly just donate some of it?

STMs: did you get a lot of good stuff or did you just wish you didn't have so much junk? Any other alternatives that I'm not thinking of?

kak808

kicksomeboots said:

I've been invited to several bdays for babies/children where on the invite it says "in lieu of gifts please consider donating to x charity". Seems reasonable and let's people do what they want while politely hinting no gifts! Otherwise I'd just be grateful for any gifts and then you can decide what to do with them (return, donate, regift...)

Ahh, I've never seen that before! I wasn't sure if that was appropriate or not.

sdlaura

We say no gifts on the invite, even though I know it's not proper etiquette to assume anyone would bring a gift. For both DD's first and second birthday party invitations, they stated the date, time, and location, and at the bottom they said 'No gifts please.'

BB0214

I think it's fine to say in lieu of gifts to please donate to a designated charity in LO's name. My guess though is that people will bring gifts no matter what you tell them.

kak808

Thanks all! I think we will say no gifts for the baptism, maybe with a charity option. Yeah, I didn't really think of that as a toy type event, but recent baptisms I've been to there were lots of bday like presents. We will cross the first bday issue when we get there, probably based on how the baptism goes. However, I assume plenty of people will ignore what we say and give presents anyway

Cerisrichard

Just a thought, you could always open a savings account for LO and say if people really want to give something they could put money towards that. We keep meaning to start an account for Gabe and I think it's a great way to let people give a gift without getting too much stuff!

I'm never sure about the charity thing, it often happens at funerals but I always feel like I want to show my respect by giving flowers. I think I would find it even stranger for a baptism/birthday as I would want to give the child something to keep and charity is the choice of the parent. Just my personal feeling on the issue, though I know many people disagree!