Pregnant and Terrified

Yaz14 · July 2014

Hi ladies,

I'm not new to The Bump, I've been reasonably active on both the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss boards and the TTC boards. I can't believe I'm here. I literally just got a BFP an hour ago and I'm fucking terrified.

I got a surprise BFP in February and had a MMC back in April. Even though that pregnancy was a surprise DH and I were so excited we could barely contain ourselves and then we were absolutely crushed when it ended so soon. We realised how much we wanted a baby and decided we'd actually try and get pregnant. We gave it 2 cycles and then this month we began TTC. Well it worked (holy cow) and here I am. I'm walking around on auto pilot. I took the test, told DH I was pregnant and then went and had a shower. No tears, no smiles. I don't know how I'm supposed to act, this should be a joyous time but I'm so scared I'm almost numb. Last time I was pregnant I told almost everyone straight away but this time I think I'm going to keep it between DH and I for as long as I can.

Thank you to anyone who reads this. I just had to let that out. Fuckity fuck I'm scared (sorry for all the colourful language!)

MrsHamon09 · July 2014

Congrats and welcome! As PP stated there are no right or wrong emotions being PGAL

footprint · July 2014

Congrats on you BFP! And welcome to the board.

peggels24 · July 2014

Congratulations and welcome! I know that it is scary but just try to remember the PGAL mantras.

carlsonbaby2014 · July 2014

Congratulations and welcome

. One word of advice that has helped me is to plan to give yourself a LOT of grace as you work through the motions and emotions of being PgAL. Going through a loss is traumatic and you may be surprised at how guarded and protected your heart is this time around, but just give it time and have patience. I'm so excited you're here!!

chicagojackie · July 2014

Congrats! Hang in there. One day at a time!

haleyusf · July 2014

Welcome, congratulations, and ((hugs))!

mjcharpe · July 2014

We've all been there. It is terrifying and you have a right to feel however you feel. Just take things one day at a time. You will find lots of support and encouragement from the wonderful ladies on this board. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Congratulations and welcome!

nohalo21 · July 2014

Congratulations! There definitely will be a whole range of emotions. I have found to take each day as they come and not to focus so much up ahead. I have set little goals for myself to keep my eye on. Wishing you nothing but the best!

amanda33758 · July 2014

Congratulations and welcome.
I went through the whole same amount of colorful language myself! I'm just trying to take it a day at a time. So I'm in the same boat with you right now! Wishing you all the best!

tigerlily2015 · July 2014

Congratulations on your BFP! PgAL can be really scary. Since all of us have experienced a loss of some kind, everyone understands PgAL brain and there is a lot of support and encouragement here. Welcome to the board!

voplo · July 2014

Congrats and welcome. It is normal to be scared, who wouldn't after having a miscarriage, right? For me as time went on, with the appointments and the reassurance that the baby was ok and everything was going well, the fear starting disappearing to give some space to the excitement

I found the first trimester the harder one, and of course, still have some fears here and there but it is not like before

We haven't tell everyone this time, just close family and friends. We waiting for the baby to arrive and the BAM, surprise! :P

Good luck!

Yaz14 · July 2014

Thank you ladies so, so much. I keep reading and re-reading your replies, they are definitely making me feel better. The fact that you've all had losses and now some of you are so far into your pregnancies or have your babies already definitely gives me hope. At the moment though I'm just trying not to think about my pregnancy too much. It still doesn't feel real, even though I took another test this morning (I'm a POAS addict, you all know what that's like) and the line was super dark! I'm just going to take it one day at a time. I've got a doctors appointment on Wednesday so I'll try not to think about it till then. Again, thank you for all your kind words

smartin9 · July 2014

I'm in the same boat

Miscarried in December. Now yesterday (24th) I found out I was pregnant and I'm so scared! I almost started crying on the phone when scheduling my first OB appt!

JustinsGirl2011 · July 2014

Congrats & welcome! We kept ours quiet until 13 weeks. Now at 22 I still find myself saying - holy crap, I made it this far?! It's a crazy ride for sure.