Virtual/Long Distance shower? — The Bump
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Virtual/Long Distance shower?

Hi all, looking for some ideas.  My good friend is 8 weeks pregnant and I am already wondering what I could do for her in terms of a shower.  She lives in FL and pretty much all her family and friends are here in MA.  I don't believe they are planning to come home to MA before baby arrives.  Any thoughts?  

Re: Virtual/Long Distance shower?

  • Firstly I would talk to your friend and see if they really aren't planning to come back before the baby. Or, ask if she would come back for a shower, I don't think asking the question is a bad thing. Or, if they're not coming back until after the baby maybe offer to do a meet the baby party for them.

    Other than that, if people want to buy her presents, they will whether there's a shower or not. Log distance showers just rub me the wrong way because they feel so very gift-grabby and I've never had someone explain a way they could be thrown where it's not just people staring at a computer screen and it being awkward. Either all of the gifts are at the party away from the mom, or the mom has to open everything at home. It's just weird.

    I live far-ish away from my family. 11 hours by car or two flights. Barring anything like bedrest or travel restrictions, I'll probably make at least one or possibly 2 trips home during a pregnancy because I visit every 5 months or so. But if I couldn't I wouldn't want to deal with the hassle, or the tacky, or a long-distance shower.



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  • The ONLY time I've attended a "virtual" shower was when my friend unexpectedly had her baby the day of her shower. It was too late to cancel the event. Her DH showed up to open gifts and play the role of guest of honor. We had a laptop and she was on Skype and we were all able to speak with her. None of us were offended and it ended up being a lot of fun, even though she couldn't be there. And she was very gracious in her thank you cards...thanking everyone for attending (in addition to gifts), even though she'd found herself unable to be there. IMO, a situation like this would be the only acceptable time to consider a "virtual" shower.
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  • I wouldn't do a virtual shower.  IT would be a complete waste of money. Take whatever money you would have spent on a shower and put it towards a gift.
  • I wouldn't do a virtual shower.  IT would be a complete waste of money. Take whatever money you would have spent on a shower and put it towards a gift.

    Agreed.  If she's really not planning on travelling until after the baby is born, you can offer to host a get together when she does manage to get back to her hometown.

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  • lexusolsenlexusolsen
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    edited July 2014
    My cousins and I sent gifts to another cousin who lives on the other side of the country. We timed our packages to arrive at the same time. Someone included some shower decorations and we called it a "shower in a box". But it was a group of us who would have sent gifts anyway. No one solicited gifts.
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  • VORVOR
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    Yeah. Don't do this. I will say- I was invited to one shower like this. The MTB was in Chicago and a "real" shower was being thrown for her. Her sister, who lives near us, decided to have a virtual shower for her at the same time. I didn't mind the idea TOO much. It was about us not being able to be there and having our own party. We weren't able to go but I wouldn't have minded. However- that still doesn't mean "sure- go have a virtual shower!". By and large, I sde eye them
  • Please don't do this.
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  • OK thanks ladies!  I didn't think the idea of a virtual shower sounded good so I'm glad I came here!  I think I will just send her a nice gift and maybe organize a sip and see type party when she comes home.

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