need encouragement and support (long)

radiohd18

Hi ladies-  I am not new to the bump- I stopped posting about 1/2 way through my pregnancy (board April 2014). I still follow the A14 board but I don't participate- I guess I'm more of a lurker. It's nice to see that there are other women with the same questions/issues and sense of humor; feeling alone when figuring out a new baby sucks.

My daughter is 14 weeks- I'm just wrapping up my third week back at work full time and I'm exhausted, frustrated and really concerned that I cannot keep up with breastfeeding. I really want this for my baby girl and originally I was hoping to get through six months, but now I'm not sure I'll make it that long. I don't know why I thought I could just pump at work and replace everything she was drinking at her daycare center. She was recently just taking 4 oz bottles; I send two with her to daycare and come and nurse her at lunch. If she sleeps through a feeding (they don't wake babies) and I can do it, I told them I would rather nurse her than sacrifice a bottle. There are so many different people at this daycare that what I tell one person doesn't ever get re-communicated to the next. And, different people are feeding LO throughout the day. One teacher told me that during one of the feedings LO was so upset and that 4 oz wasn't enough. So I started to bring about 4.5-5oz bottles but I know it's a struggle to replace that everyday- I was really only pumping about 7 oz a day.  I had 90 oz of stored milk when I started back at work and I will run out if I can't replace what she's drinking everyday. I pump each time she eats when she's away from me and now I've added a late night pump session to help. A couple of days ago I tried to pump for 20 minutes and nothing came out!

After thinking about it more, I wonder if these teachers are pace feeding or just making her finish the bottle quickly before she knows she's full. Again, I know that what I tell one teacher will not reach the next. I feel like I have zero control over bottle feeding and the teachers don't seem to understand when I tell them I would rather nurse instead of bottle feed. They do follow some cues but I think when they give a bottle, the goal to them is to finish the bottle no matter what. I don't want her to be overfed.

Pumping at work, being away from my baby for 8+ hours a day and feeling like I can't provide for her is breaking my heart. I hate not knowing how much she should have for each feeding and I'm worried that as she gets older, I'm going be scrambling to give her what she needs. Compounded with the fact that I am exhausted because she doesn't always STTN.

It has been suggested to supplement with formula but I don't want to give up. I'm sorry if this post seems rambling and ridiculously long-- I have a million thoughts and worries in my brain right now.

What I want is for someone to please tell me I'm not alone and that I can keep doing this. This friggin stress is not helping me!

 

radiohd18

Thanks for the tips! I just received replacement valves, membranes and tubing so I will be replacing them this weekend. I know I should be drinking more water.. I pretty much just walk around with a water bottle so Im always sipping at it. I've tried pumping with LO on one side and it gets complicated with moving her around-- I spilled some the last time I tried it. I do watch a lot of her videos and look at pictures during sessions. I should definitely stop watching the bottles.

Our average day is like this:

LO eats about 6-7 times a day, but usually it's just 6. She always nurses both sides and is a slow eater (like 30-40 minutes total)

She wakes up usually between 5-6 am. Then I get her to daycare between 8-8:30AM and she is given a morning bottle (this week it's been about 4.5 oz per bottle). I pump at work during this time. She eats every 3 hours start to start unless she cues hunger early or is napping longer. I come to the daycare at lunch hour to nurse (no set time; I call the DC to see when they've fed her last). In the afternoon they give her another bottle (again 4.5 oz) and I pump again. I nurse her after work and then before her bedtime which lately has been between 9-10 pm. I've started pumping before bed now, which has helped give me another 2-3 oz. LO sometimes wakes at 3-3:30AM which I had been thinking was because of hunger, but last night I just put the pacifier back in her mouth and she went back to sleep.

 

opheliainwaders

Hey there! So, I think you need to address the two issues separately(ish). I think @casey78 has given great pumping advice.

I *also* think you need to have a sit-down with your DC. I'd ask the lead teacher in your room to sit down, and to find you a time when you can speak with all of her regular caregivers together. Bring the paced feeding handout from KellyMom, and walk them through what you want them to do.
Then leave written instructions with them, and make sure that they are kept with your milk so that any new person can't miss them. Also, you can just say no, and send 4oz - FWIW, I know some babies do eat more, but my DD never took more than 4oz at a feeding, even at her peak.

Also, one thing that worked for us was to give a 4oz bottle, and if baby was still "hungry" tell the DCP to wait 10mins before giving any more. 99% of the time, she wasn't really "hungry," just needed to burp more/let milk settle, etc.

I also wound up, after some health issues this winter affected my supply, sticking to my pumping schedule, but supplementing when we were apart (didn't need to when she was with me and nursing). So I would still pump 3x/day, but once or twice a week she would get a bottle of formula to make up any shortfall. Sometimes we needed it, sometimes we didn't. I didn't love it, but it was the only way for me to make it work. And we're still BFing now, at 13 months!

Anyway, I hope that helps. GL!

[Deleted User]

Definitely sit down with the DCPs to discuss how they're feeding your LO. You are paying them to care for her and they should be doing so according to your guidelines, especially when it comes to feeding. My DS only took more than 4 oz at a time during growth spurts, though some babies do drink more. You can definitely do this! Take it one day at a time, don't stress about what will happen in a few months. GL!

Jmorgan971

So much great advice from pp. I just wanted to say that you are doing a great job and you are not alone.

In regards to using your freezer stash to supplement DC feedings, this link was really informative and changed my thinking about what the stash is for and how using it can affect supply. Your DC should definitely be better able to feed your LO effectively without you sending more milk. With full access to nursing when you are together, your LO should (within reason) be able to adjust to the amount of milk provided at DC and be just fine.

https://www.workandpump.com/freezerstash.htm

radiohd18

@jmorgan971 thanks for the link.

radiohd18

Thanks for all the advice ladies- I just want to say that since I added a pumping session at night before bed, I can get another 3 oz which really helps. Also, I called Medela to troubleshoot since I felt like I was having suction issues. They sent me new valves and membranes and I instantly felt a difference. It was like having a new pump!

 

Thanks, again.