"Bad Habits" that work for you

Rebis58

This is kind of just a discussion out of curiosity, and kind of for advice. What are some things that you do with LO that "they" (your parents, the experts, friends, etc.) say will build bad habits, but you do anyway because it works? STMs - if you did these things with your first LOs, what was your experience with breaking the habits later on? Was it worth the peace it brought in the moment, or was breaking the habit horrible enough that you did something different with your next LO(s)?

(For example: soother, rocking/nursing/bouncing to sleep, etc.)

xanadu94

Ditto on the nursing to sleep.  I don't always have to do it to get her to sleep but I use it probably 75% of the time.

SandFHasse

Bed sharing. We started with DD and she's almost 2. She can almost go the whole night without climbing into bed with us. I said I wouldn't do it with DS, but once in awhile its the only way he will go to sleep.

Rebis58

I do a lot of "bad habits" for DD's sleep routine. I nurse/rock her to sleep every single time. I've tried putting her down drowsy but awake, and she'll cry until I come back in and pick her up (the longest I've left her - or am comfortable leaving her for now - is 10 minutes of crying).

I'm not overly concerned, but some days I wonder if I really am setting myself up for complete misery later on, like a lot of what I've read implies. It's hard for me to convince myself to try to break the habits now, though. DD was an awesome sleeper up to 3.5 months, then we hit what I'm guessing was the 4MW, and we had a month and a half of horrible sleep. That ended a couple weeks ago and now she's been sleeping amazingly (12 hour stretches some nights, 1-2 wake ups on a bad night). 

I've been told to break the habit of rocking/nursing to sleep before 6 months because apparently it's a nightmare to break after 6 months, but I just don't want to mess with what's working right now!

peanutmuse

Nursing to sleep, but I only do it occasionally. I don't care about breaking it because he can fall asleep without it, sometimes it's just easier to do it.

Also, I occasionally use the swing to force a nap when he's way overtired and fighting it in the crib. Again, I don't care. Most of the time he naps just fine.

Rebis58

Rojovol34 said:

Yeah I don't have a clue how I'm going to break the nursing to sleep habit.

Stuck in box

Yea, I'm right there with ya!

Summer889

Nursing and bouncing/swaying him to sleep.  I've tried putting him down drowsy but awake, but he just can't seem to fall asleep on his own, and I'm not comfortable with CIO.

peanutmuse

Rebis58 said:

Rojovol34 said:

Yeah I don't have a clue how I'm going to break the nursing to sleep habit.

Stuck in box

Yea, I'm right there with ya!

@Rebis58 and @Rojoval34 -- do you fully nurse to sleep or just comfort nurse? I guess I mostly comfort nurse him, which is different. It's more like a pacifier, not like a meal.

Rebis58

It sounds like a lot of you are in the same boat as me. Any STMs that rocked/nursed their first LOs to sleep - was it really a horrible habit to break? Or did they eventually learn to fall asleep on their own when they were ready? 

I don't mind nursing/rocking DD to sleep so I don't want to put her (and myself) through the stress of trying to break the habit if it's unnecessary. I feel like the few times I've let her cry (unsuccessfully) might be a sign that she's just not ready to go to sleep on her own. She does know how to self-sooth at times. When she wakes up in the middle of the night she'll sometimes fuss/play for a few minutes and then go back to sleep on her own. She just can't seem to START her sleep that way.

Rebis58

peanutmuse said:

Rebis58 said:

Rojovol34 said:

Yeah I don't have a clue how I'm going to break the nursing to sleep habit.

Stuck in box

Yea, I'm right there with ya!

@Rebis58 and @Rojoval34 -- do you fully nurse to sleep or just comfort nurse? I guess I mostly comfort nurse him, which is different. It's more like a pacifier, not like a meal.

@peanutmuse usually it's fully nursing. The only times I really comfort nurse are when she's having a rough night or really fighting a nap and she cries hard after she has been fully nursed (i.e. if I put her down asleep but she wakes up as soon as I transfer her to the crib, sometimes I'll leave her to see whether she'll go back to sleep. She starts to cry and is sometimes hard to settle, especially if I leave her more than a minute or so, so then I'll comfort nurse her or give her the pacifier).

mommygrams0730

Rebis58 said:

It sounds like a lot of you are in the same boat as me. Any STMs that rocked/nursed their first LOs to sleep - was it really a horrible habit to break? Or did they eventually learn to fall asleep on their own when they were ready? 

I don't mind nursing/rocking DD to sleep so I don't want to put her (and myself) through the stress of trying to break the habit if it's unnecessary. I feel like the few times I've let her cry (unsuccessfully) might be a sign that she's just not ready to go to sleep on her own. She does know how to self-sooth at times. When she wakes up in the middle of the night she'll sometimes fuss/play for a few minutes and then go back to sleep on her own. She just can't seem to START her sleep that way.

With my first he was in his crib from day 1, it's weird bc now I have guilt that I never kept him bedside like I have my other 2, and I would nurse him to sleep every night. Then slowly he starts going down without being fully asleep abc then by the time he was 12-13 months old he would point to the crib while I was rocking him to let me know he was ready to go to sleep.

I'm with @peanutmuse‌ I think when he falls asleep nursing it's more for comfort than eating, except motn then he always falls asleep while eating.

Rebis58

mommy grams said:

It sounds like a lot of you are in the same boat as me. Any STMs that rocked/nursed their first LOs to sleep - was it really a horrible habit to break? Or did they eventually learn to fall asleep on their own when they were ready? 

I don't mind nursing/rocking DD to sleep so I don't want to put her (and myself) through the stress of trying to break the habit if it's unnecessary. I feel like the few times I've let her cry (unsuccessfully) might be a sign that she's just not ready to go to sleep on her own. She does know how to self-sooth at times. When she wakes up in the middle of the night she'll sometimes fuss/play for a few minutes and then go back to sleep on her own. She just can't seem to START her sleep that way.

With my first he was in his crib from day 1, it's weird bc now I have guilt that I never kept him bedside like I have my other 2, and I would nurse him to sleep every night. Then slowly he starts going down without being fully asleep abc then by the time he was 12-13 months old he would point to the crib while I was rocking him to let me know he was ready to go to sleep. I'm with @peanutmuse‌ I think when he falls asleep nursing it's more for comfort than eating, except motn then he always falls asleep while eating.

mommy grams said:

It sounds like a lot of you are in the same boat as me. Any STMs that rocked/nursed their first LOs to sleep - was it really a horrible habit to break? Or did they eventually learn to fall asleep on their own when they were ready? 

I don't mind nursing/rocking DD to sleep so I don't want to put her (and myself) through the stress of trying to break the habit if it's unnecessary. I feel like the few times I've let her cry (unsuccessfully) might be a sign that she's just not ready to go to sleep on her own. She does know how to self-sooth at times. When she wakes up in the middle of the night she'll sometimes fuss/play for a few minutes and then go back to sleep on her own. She just can't seem to START her sleep that way.

With my first he was in his crib from day 1, it's weird bc now I have guilt that I never kept him bedside like I have my other 2, and I would nurse him to sleep every night. Then slowly he starts going down without being fully asleep abc then by the time he was 12-13 months old he would point to the crib while I was rocking him to let me know he was ready to go to sleep. I'm with @peanutmuse‌ I think when he falls asleep nursing it's more for comfort than eating, except motn then he always falls asleep while eating.

@mommygrams Thank you for sharing this. This is basically exactly what I needed to hear to reinforce that what I'm doing is okay. I enjoy nursing DD to sleep. She's not a big cuddler so it's basically my time to snuggle with her. If I didn't like it, or she wasn't sleeping well, I'd be more inclined to try to break the habit. Literally my only concern was whether I was setting me and her up for a more stressful/difficult transition if I don't break the habit now. Hearing that your LO eventually weaned himself from nursing to sleep makes me feel better. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and not stress about creating "bad habits"

precious72381

Nurse to sleep. Bedtime and naps. And she will still only nap on me! Which is an improvement from when she would only sleep on me at night. Others occasionally have luck putting her in the pnp or crib for a nap but she usually wakes up and won't go back to sleep. On me, she is asleep nursing. Sometimes, when she unlatches, I can turn her vertical but that often wakes her up. I'm terrible, but I figure DC can break this habit in August. I also won't pump when I return to work in August but will try to comfort feed in the morning, after I pick her up and at night as long as my supply lasts. So maybe that will change things too, not sure how...but maybe.

Panaceia

I nurse to sleep but she can put herself to sleep on her own. She hates being rocked or bounced so as soon as she's had enough of the boob she just arches back or looks at her crib. I put her down, she rolls on her side and goes right to sleep. I also feed MOTN whenever she needs/wants. No desire to break these habits. She'll wean herself when ready.

Also she mostly naps in the ergo. I'll probably just keep on keepin' on with this too until she starts to want a change. She never naps in her crib which is odd because she LOVES being in it but will nap on my lap or on the bed with me when tired. My mom can get her to sleep anywhere so I'm not really worried about it.

Plus, we're OAD so I am trying to keep my little baby as close as possible at all times.

bensmommy518

nursing to sleep.  I did this with DS as well and it was not a big deal to break when we weaned (11 months).  He was a daycare kid though and did not nurse to sleep for his naps at daycare so he had the skills to go to sleep without it.  I say do what you need to do now and worry about breaking the habits when its time. 

Jroonelove

We still nurse to sleep for bedtime and most naps. Like PP, I don't want to stop because it works. We have difficulty getting him to sleep at bedtime occasionally and after nursing, Ill bounce or rock him down. He almost always falls asleep in our bed, then I transfer him. My cousin, who has a LO 4 months older, is telling me that I'm creating horrible habits. She just had a hell of a time transitioning from RnP to crib and it took months. I think that one thing that helps is that we never had a RnP, we used a co sleeper and still do. I never want to look back and regret that I missed out on cuddle time because I know it won't last forever! I will nurse to sleep as long as it works for LO and myself.

amt0312

I think the bad habit I mostly do is attend to my baby's every need right away- she never really has to wait for anything when I am around, so she will probably get pretty spoiled that way. But its so hard because its just me and her all day every day until DH gets home. 

NenaMarie84

I also nurse to sleep at naps and at nighttime she has her bottle to go to sleep. At first I thought I was creating a bad habit but now I'm like whatever works. She's happy, I'm happy, we'll deal with changing it later if we need to.

PreDempsey

He's got a paci strapped to him around the clock. It's one of his most favorite toys now and he's great at grabbing it and getting it sucessfully into his mouth. Sure it's a crutch but we're sharpening motor skills!

worleygirl

Motn nursing. I love the snuggles. I'm working on breaking it now though bc she's really regressing in terms of sleep duration. Last night DH gave her a bottle of formula bc I just couldn't take another night of nursing every 20 mins from 2am on. She slept another 3 hours after the bottle. I'm sad bc I know this will impact my supply and my days of bfing are probably numbered.

painttheair14

esd said:

I nurse him to sleep and enjoy that time with the 2 of us.

I did it with my other 2 and it's NBD to me. Eventually they learn to sleep on their own.

He is my only LO that doesn't sleep at night with a paci. He'll use it some during the day but he not big on it.

I like how you said "eventually they learn to sleep on their own." We have been using this mentality for just about everything. He started sleeping away from our bed (part of the night) when he was ready. He will actually swallow the solid food when he's ready.

I'm a FTM, so we'll see how it turns out. Works for now anyways!

Rebis58

Panaceia said:

I nurse to sleep but she can put herself to sleep on her own. She hates being rocked or bounced so as soon as she's had enough of the boob she just arches back or looks at her crib. I put her down, she rolls on her side and goes right to sleep. I also feed MOTN whenever she needs/wants. No desire to break these habits. She'll wean herself when ready. Also she mostly naps in the ergo. I'll probably just keep on keepin' on with this too until she starts to want a change. She never naps in her crib which is odd because she LOVES being in it but will nap on my lap or on the bed with me when tired. My mom can get her to sleep anywhere so I'm not really worried about it. Plus, we're OAD so I am trying to keep my little baby as close as possible at all times.

We're not OAD but that's still a good point - they're little for such a short time. Soon she won't want me to hold her so I want to soak it up for as long as she lets me!

Rebis58

Rojovol34 said:

@peanutmuse - I fully nurse to sleep. I pull him off when I think he starts to comfort nurse. But he's usually pretty good and asleep by then.

I really don't mind it because it is our snuggle time but it would also be nice to be able to stay out to dinner or something past his bedtime. I also nurse him to sleep at nap time when I am home, but others (DH, my mom, MIL) are able to get him to nap without it.

It gives me hope that others have done this and it eventually works itself out. I tried putting him down drowsy but awake this week and he freaked the F out. Again, it's working for us, and I don't necessarily want to give it up, but man it would be nice to have the freedom to stay out past 7:30 every once in a while.

You are describing my life exactly right now. We have two weddings coming up this weekend and next weekend. My mom will be at one, MIL will be at the other. Both have offered to leave the reception early to babysit so H and I can stay out later, but I don't know if anyone else can successfully put DD to sleep. Likely I'll have to leave the reception, put her to sleep, and then go back. Not sure if it's worth the effort!

Rebis58

Rojovol34 said:

@rebis58 we went to the beach last week with the In-laws and they offered to watch DS one night so DH and I could have a date but we didn't end up doing it because I don't know how it would go for them to try to put DS to sleep. I want to have a girls' night in August and have contemplated doing sleep training, but may just have to have DH know going in that it's going to be a rough night getting him to sleep because I don't want to quit nursing him to sleep every night. I'm just so torn. I don't want this phase to end, just wish I could take a night off without consequence. Hope you are able to figure something out that works!

You too!

growingmybun

Pacifier. It's going to cost me $5k in bribes to get rid of my 3 year old's pacifier. It's like an additional limb. And I'm setting myself up to have to do it again.

ajgreen78

I echo the pacifier "bad habit." She gets it to go to sleep at night; its part of her routine and it works for her. She loves it, and if it makes her happy, it's hard to say no. We've sleep-trained successfully without any other props (besides a sound machine), so I figure we'll celebrate our small victories and deal with the pacifier later. Sleep training was important to us b/c DD refuses to take solid naps. She needs to learn to put herself to sleep and BACK to sleep. I still MOTN nurse if she needs it, but only once. Pediatrician will likely encourage me to stop this when we go in for our six-month appt next week. But it's my call.  

Tylynngrace

I let DS nap in my bed during the day which isn't bad but people keep telling me I shouldn't. It's the only way he'll nap during the day. I also let him sleep with his lovey and afghan.

SunflowersBride

Let's see.  We bed share, I nurse him to sleep, I nurse on-demand MOTN, and he naps in his swing. I think the only "bad habit" we don't have is that he has never taken a pacifier.  Small victory, right??

painttheair14

We'd totally be in the pacifier boat if he hadn't refused them!

jeslillyn

Lately LO has been waking up at 4am, ive been bringing him in bed with me, it seems like the only way I can get him to go back to sleep.

umma4babes

I still rock her to sleep. I love that snugly feeling!