My kids aren't great eaters and sleepers. Idk what I'm doing wrong.

anna.ce

18 mo dd and 3 yo ds doesn't eat very well but sleeps ok. I'm a little bit jealous of my friend who has both of her kids eating well and sleeps until 11am. dd wakes up at sometimes 3 and is definitely up by 5-6am. She spits out any meat and sometimes veggies I give her but she can eat plain steamed rice. I'm getting frustrated about feeding time bc of this

Any tip/advice? What is your daily life like with your kids? Tia for sharing!

ashiscute

I'm very baffled by a LO sleeping until 11am.  When is her bedtime?  Your LOs wake up time is not necessarily what makes them a good sleeper.  It really depends on how much overall sleep they are getting.  My LOs (22 mos and 3.5yrs) go to bed between 8- 830 and wake up between 630- 7.  

As for eating it's not a big deal if she doesn't like meat.  I'm 30 and I still don't like meat.  My DS only likes bacon and meatballs for the most part.  Just keep offering her healthy choices.

And stop comparing your kids to others.  Everyone is different and everyone has their struggles.  I'm not really sure what you're frustrated about but comparing your kids is not going to make that easier.  

MommaHen1984

I agree with the PP. Everyones kids are different. My girlfriends son sleeps till 9 AM. Mine usually sleeps till 7. I just attribute it to the fact mine goes to bed earlier. No big deal. And my DS can be a picky eater at times, he will eat veggies but ONLY cooked ones. And he wont eat sauce on anything, meaning no mac and cheese, spaghetti, etc. Its just his preference right now. It doesn't mean your doing anything wrong, they are just being kids!

anna.ce

Her bed time is around 9 but lately she's been going around 10:30, she has a hard time settling into bed lately so I'm currently thinking of ways to help her. I can't help but to compare kids bc they seems almost perfect, even well behaved too. I feel embarrassed bc mine still cries about sharing but I know he just needs more time =\

ashiscute

anna.ce said:

Her bed time is around 9 but lately she's been going around 10:30, she has a hard time settling into bed lately so I'm currently thinking of ways to help her. I can't help but to compare kids bc they seems almost perfect, even well behaved too. I feel embarrassed bc mine still cries about sharing but I know he just needs more time =\

I'm sorry but you are embarrassed that your 3 yo doesn't want to share?  Your expectations are too high.  You will continue to feel jealous, embarrassed, or whatever until you lower your expectations and realize that children are full people with real emotions and needs without the ability to use communication and logic to deal.  It is normal for a 3 yo to not want to share.  Your friend's children are not perfect I promise you.

I think your DD needs an earlier bedtime.  9 is pretty late and 1030 is very late.  If she is having trouble falling asleep at night she is likely over tired.  This could be also why she has trouble sleeping in the morning.  I would move her bedtime earlier in 15 min increments until you get to 8 or so and see if that helps.  Please try not to feel so negative about your children.  

ASmallWonder

Yikes, yes you definitely need to lower your expectations.  There is nothing wrong with your kids but there ARE ways to try to improve things (I said try because the crappy truth is that it may not work, no matter what you do).  I absolutely agree your daughter needs an earlier bedtime.  Sleep begets sleep and it sounds like she's getting over tired.  Does she nap during the day?  My 4 year old hasn't napped in over a year and a half so he's in bed by 8 and sleeps until 7ish.

As for food, meat is not the be all and end all.  Have you tried shaking up what you serve and how?  Presentation can be a life changer (make stuff into shapes, muffins, add dipping sauces, roast vs steam, add cheese, make smoothies...).

greyt00

DS1 is a horribly picky eater, so bad that he doesn't enough to grow at a normal rate (we are doing what we can about it, professionals are involved).  DS2 is very picky but I think he is OK.  He will eat very little of our food, but he gets by.  It drives me crazy hearing about other kids who just eat the "family's" food.  And will eat treats like ice cream.  I want to be able to treat my kids to that now and then.  I know what it's like to feel frustrated by some of these things.

I would gradually make bedtime earlier, as others have said. 

welly01

One thing that I would suggest is to quit making meal time any kind of battle.  Serve food that is healthy with plenty of choices and then just let your kids pick whatever they want.  Don't freak out if they don't eat a hearty meal every time.  Eating is the one thing that you simply can't make them do and its a battle they will always win.

I also think an earlier bed time would be a good idea.

BigPoppa22

My LO also goes to bed at around 10-10:30 and wakes up at around 9.  He has been taking a single nap since he was about 10 months old, but the nap can range anywhere from 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours 45 minutes.  My wife is definitely much happier that he wakes up at that time than at 6 am.

anna.ce

Thanks everyone. I've just started to feel this way recently about feeling embarrassd bc he screams and cries when someone takes his toys. I've tried many times to teach him that it's okay. Feels like forever but I AM hanging in there. I guess I needed to also vent!

anna.ce

@BigPoppa22‌ I would love for that to work for us but it isn't my friend suggested to put her to sleep later than that and I just cannot. That would be waaaaay too late for us.

anna.ce

@ashiscute‌ I know that 3 year olds do that but I can't help but to feel embarrassed when my child is the only one screaming his head off while the other 3 year handed back his toy and said "I was trying to give it back". I'm human too, I can't help what I feel and I've already said that I know he needed time so I'm baring with him. Thanks though.

anna.ce

ashiscute said:

anna.ce said:

Her bed time is around 9 but lately she's been going around 10:30, she has a hard time settling into bed lately so I'm currently thinking of ways to help her. I can't help but to compare kids bc they seems almost perfect, even well behaved too. I feel embarrassed bc mine still cries about sharing but I know he just needs more time =\

I'm sorry but you are embarrassed that your 3 yo doesn't want to share?  Your expectations are too high.  You will continue to feel jealous, embarrassed, or whatever until you lower your expectations and realize that children are full people with real emotions and needs without the ability to use communication and logic to deal.  It is normal for a 3 yo to not want to share.  Your friend's children are not perfect I promise you.

I think your DD needs an earlier bedtime.  9 is pretty late and 1030 is very late.  If she is having trouble falling asleep at night she is likely over tired.  This could be also why she has trouble sleeping in the morning.  I would move her bedtime earlier in 15 min increments until you get to 8 or so and see if that helps.  Please try not to feel so negative about your children.  

I said I feel embarrassed about him crying about sharing. The LOUD cries that turns heads. Not embarrassed that he isn't sharing. Huge difference in my eyes bc of the loud cries. I appreciate your response but I just wanted it to be clear on that since you asked. I hope this doesn't sound rude bc I'm correcting u, I'm not trying to be rude. I just hate being the only one in Barnes and nobles with a kid who can scream a very high pitch. I'm trying so hard, I really am =\ I don't have a lot of mommy friends so I'm starting to vent on here a lot too.

anna.ce

Oh and I agree about not comparing my kids and I feel awful about doing so when all my friend and I do is talk about how good their kids are. I've been doing this recently, it's not like I've always done this. That's why I'm seeking advice here and not comparing my kids to others are obviously a great advice. I appreciate the tips, especially with putting my dd to bed earlier starting with 15 increments at a time. I appreciate everyone's input to help me work it out with my kiddies, I'm looking forward to working on this, thank you

anna.ce

@Nicb13‌ thank you sooo much, I truly appreciate it and you're right, it's just me mostly venting. Honest to god I had tears in my eyes reading your response. Thank you for comforting me, it really does help. I get so scared to look up bc the grandmother of the kid that was trying to give my son his toy back kept asking me how old he was, that his toy was broken so how was it new and that he's so attached to it. I felt like she was making jabs the whole time and I didn't know how to react and just kept saying "its his latest toys and he's into trucks and buses. He's still learning how to share" and she insisted that we worked on it when I've already said that he's still learning. Made me feel awful whether it was her intentions or not. She made it seem like I wasn't practicing sharing with him when I am =\

ashiscute

anna.ce said:

anna.ce said:

Her bed time is around 9 but lately she's been going around 10:30, she has a hard time settling into bed lately so I'm currently thinking of ways to help her. I can't help but to compare kids bc they seems almost perfect, even well behaved too. I feel embarrassed bc mine still cries about sharing but I know he just needs more time =\

I'm sorry but you are embarrassed that your 3 yo doesn't want to share?  Your expectations are too high.  You will continue to feel jealous, embarrassed, or whatever until you lower your expectations and realize that children are full people with real emotions and needs without the ability to use communication and logic to deal.  It is normal for a 3 yo to not want to share.  Your friend's children are not perfect I promise you.

I think your DD needs an earlier bedtime.  9 is pretty late and 1030 is very late.  If she is having trouble falling asleep at night she is likely over tired.  This could be also why she has trouble sleeping in the morning.  I would move her bedtime earlier in 15 min increments until you get to 8 or so and see if that helps.  Please try not to feel so negative about your children.  

I said I feel embarrassed about him crying about sharing. The LOUD cries that turns heads. Not embarrassed that he isn't sharing. Huge difference in my eyes bc of the loud cries. I appreciate your response but I just wanted it to be clear on that since you asked. I hope this doesn't sound rude bc I'm correcting u, I'm not trying to be rude. I just hate being the only one in Barnes and nobles with a kid who can scream a very high pitch. I'm trying so hard, I really am =\ I don't have a lot of mommy friends so I'm starting to vent on here a lot too.

You may feel like your kids is the only one crying at barnes and nobles but that is not the case.  Both of my kids have had full on tantrums over nothing at all kinds of stores.  It's easy to feel like people are staring at you and judging but if they are judging they are idiots.  Most likely they are commiserating.  Good luck  

anna.ce

Thank you ladies, this has helped me regained my confidence again

jcrising

ashiscute said:

I think your DD needs an earlier bedtime.  9 is pretty late and 1030 is very late.  If she is having trouble falling asleep at night she is likely over tired.  This could be also why she has trouble sleeping in the morning.  I would move her bedtime earlier in 15 min increments until you get to 8 or so and see if that helps.  Please try not to feel so negative about your children.  

This.  My DD gets a rush of frenetic energy at bedtime (which has been 7pm since she was about 9 months) so it seems like she's not tired, but she definitely is.  She sometimes screams and cries like the world is ending when I put on her pajamas, but when we just continue the same routine, she goes down fine and rarely cries once she is in her crib.  Try an earlier bedtime and it will be easier for them to fall asleep.  And FYI, my DD sleeps until 6:30 with her 7pm bedtime.  As a PP said, it's not about what time they wake up, it's about how long they sleep.

TexasGirl81

I have a 12 year old step daughter, she us an extremely picky eater. If she see ANY kind of fat on her meat she's really quick to try and throw the whole plate away! Sides and all. Also, while the rest of us take 20 min of so to eat, she at the dinner table for almost an hour just fiddling around. Hang in there. It's all ok.

nymom1015

i feel like some people are being a little harsh.  I completely understand what you mean.  I can totally relate.  My little one is really smart,  the day care always tells me she is so advanced, shes only 17 mths old. But.. I have other issues, she still sleeps in our bed, refuses to sleep in her crib.  if i put her in there she cries so much, she cant breath, so i cant deal with that.  

Also, lately, her eating habits have changed as well, shes not eating as much as she did, but always wants milk, so i give her the milk.  I feel like if shes not eating she has to have something, and im not going to say no, at least not to a 17 month old.  i have mom friends, who have there children on such perfect schedules and everything sounds so great, sometimes i wonder what im donig wrong. but i feel every mom is going through something they must question. 

DawnJM25

There's nothing wrong with your kids!  Being a mom is not easy and we all do the best we know how to do. I agree with some of the PPs that an earlier, consistent bedtime might help. Consistency with nap(s) is important, too. I'd try backing up bedtime by 15 minutes each night until you get to about 7:30 or 8, and see how your DD does with that. My 20 mo sleeps about 10 hours at night with a 2 1/2-3 hour nap every day and pedi said that's about right, so maybe that can help you gage how much sleep a 17 mo needs- roughly 12-13 hours is average, but every kid is different.  

As far as eating, both my kids have days where they will eat almost as much as me, and then days where I swear they eat 2 crackers.  I think it's good to expose kids to a variety of foods, even if they don't try things or don't seem to like things.  They might need more exposure to a certain food before they figure out that they like it.  Some days they fill up on milk, and some days they eat a good variety of nutrients.  

And, if it makes you feel better, my DD had a huge meltdown in Target this morning.  It happens to all of us!