My Ex-boyfriend blocked me on FB

Cheenomae

K, I'm so bored at work today so I'm going to tell you all a little story. Except I don't know how to tell a short story. I'll try.

I dated my BFF's cousin the Summer between Jr. & Sr. year of HS. We were MADLY in love. I lived in NC and he lived in UT, but I spent the Summer in UT visiting my mom, ultimately spending the entire Summer with him...should I not be capitalizing summer? Anyway, when it was time to return home he asked me to finish Sr. year in UT with my mom so we didn't have to be apart. She's a nut job so I declined, among other reasons.

We did the long distance thing for a few months...he met another girl and picked a fight with me and never called me again. He was engaged to her by the end of my Sr. year (he was a little older...3 years, still too young to be married, IMHO). I moved to UT in May 2000 for college. His mom and are were very close and remained very close through the break up. As soon as I moved here she called me and we planned a lunch date. Dude, HE comes on the lunch date, along with his dad and brothers (normal, just not for HIM to come). So weird, he said not one word to me. Why did he even bother coming on said lunch date?

Later he invited me through my BFF (his cousin) to the wedding. Oh I'll go, and break up your FUCKING wedding. I tried to be the bigger person and I stopped by the reception. His new wife walked out. Duh, I'm an asshole, I should have known.

A year and a half later they had a 6 month old baby who asphyxiated on his own vomit in his sleep and passed away. SADDEST NEWS EVER. I make a quick call to offer my condolences.

Two ish years later I checked an email address that I hadn't used in a couple years and there was a very recent email from him saying that he'd love to get together and catch up. I had been with my DH (then BF) at this point right at 3 years. I still never got closure with ex BF and decided to go. He was going through a divorce blah, blah, blah. I could go on and on and on for days. After talking for a few days I decided it was a bad idea. He was in a bad place and I was in a good place and didn't want to ruin things with DH (then BF).

We lost touch. Four ish years later he finds me on FB (this was two years ago). We met up for lunch, very platonic....maybe I should have never gone. We kept in very casual touch for several months, DH was fully aware. Out of the blue ex-BF decided he wanted me back and he'd do ANYTHING.... This is also the claim he made three years before when I said we should no longer keep contact. He told me he only proposed to skank hoar because he was angry I left him. He always compared his wife to me and ultimately ruined his marriage because of it. Also, she blamed him for the death of their baby because she was working nights and he was home with the baby. So so so sad.

His mom and I have kept in touch through ALL OF THIS. We are very close and I really look up to her. He asked me two years ago to delete her from FB and he never wanted contact with me again...after I told him that I'm not leaving DH for him...duh. I told him he can talk to his mom and if she wants to delete me I completely understand, but I'm not deleting her. Am I a bitch? Whatever...anyway.

So the last two years has been life as normal. He was off FB for a while from what I could tell. Of course I stalked him now and again. Eventually we started commenting on the same posts (mutual friends) and everything was fine. We just kept our distance. He also lives in Dallas now so keeping a physical distance and not running into each other is very easy.

His mom got sick last week and put something about not feeling well from her damn sinus infection. I said, "boo, feel better soon." He also had put something. I suddenly realized that I couldn't see his comment anymore. His cousin confirmed he blocked me (she could still see him). What the hell? Not that I care...well, obviously I do because I liked stalking him....he was my first, and really only other love before DH so I always wanted the best for him. I admittedly kind of liked knowing what he was up to. I realize that's not really fair to him as I'm the one who made the choice ultimately not to be with him. No regrets there. I just don't understand why he now suddenly blocked me!! Jerk wad.

This sounds like MUD, which is funny to me because it couldn't be further from MUD.... Sad story. Aren't you so happy you stuck this out with me? Ha!

Also, I don't have a moral to this story.

kelbel527

lol.  That is quite the story!  

Honestly - I wouldn't care that he blocked me at this point.  It's probably better for him that he did and maybe he can move on with his life.  

Oh and my first love (and only love besides DH) is gay.  So we have no trouble maintaining a normal friendship.  

ETA: I am also very sorry to hear about his baby.  That's unimaginable.  

Holly_1007

Yikes. I'm a huge creep and like knowing what exes are up to, so I would be sad he blocked me as well.

hmp1

Sounds like he found out about your new boobs and didn't want to see pictures of them and miss you even more

MomtobeNJ

Ex's are so weird. Mine sent me a friend request when I first got pregnant. We hadn't spoken in probably 6 years - it was NOT a good break up. He was ridiculously controlling and emotionally manipulative. It was not a good situation. I felt weird just ignoring him so I sent him a message on FB and said "it was nice of you to reach out. I'll be honest with you and tell you that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with us being FB friends at this point, but I hope you're doing well." He responds and says something like "I don't understand what the big deal is. Aren't we adults here?" I should have left it alone but I was really trying to be polite. So I said, "I just don't know if it's a good idea. And I don't think my husband would be comfortable about it either." His response? "I didn't know you needed your husband's permission to have all your FB friends."

Annnnnnd...that was the end of that. I blocked him immediately. We have a few mutual friends and I DESPISE seeing his name & pics when he comments. Douche.

Holly_1007

I dated this guy in college who was in a very recent break up. We were together for about a year and it was pretty clear we weren't in it for the long term so I broke up with him. He got back together with the girl he broke up with right before we met, they are getting married in a few months.

Cheenomae

hmp1 said:

Sounds like he found out about your new boobs and didn't want to see pictures of them and miss you even more

I seem like an open book and mostly I am, but thus far the FB world isn't par to the boob 411. He did tell me though that the rest of his life is not fair because I get to live 100% happy and how fair is it to him and his future GF that even if someday he finds a woman that can actually make him happy he has to always know that she is only his "at most" 80%. Ha ha, poor guy!

eta - changed boon to boob.

Cheenomae

MomtobeNJ said:

Ex's are so weird. Mine sent me a friend request when I first got pregnant. We hadn't spoken in probably 6 years - it was NOT a good break up. He was ridiculously controlling and emotionally manipulative. It was not a good situation. I felt weird just ignoring him so I sent him a message on FB and said "it was nice of you to reach out. I'll be honest with you and tell you that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with us being FB friends at this point, but I hope you're doing well." He responds and says something like "I don't understand what the big deal is. Aren't we adults here?" I should have left it alone but I was really trying to be polite. So I said, "I just don't know if it's a good idea. And I don't think my husband would be comfortable about it either." His response? "I didn't know you needed your husband's permission to have all your FB friends."

Annnnnnd...that was the end of that. I blocked him immediately. We have a few mutual friends and I DESPISE seeing his name & pics when he comments. Douche.

He sounds like a douche! We are kind of opposite, only not at all because our relationship was great and ended sadly, but we were young. Ultimately giving neither of us closure. I've since gotten mine because I've had two oppertunities to decide that he isn't who I'm meant to be with. I, however, would love nothing more than to remain friends. He obviously feels the opposite!

Glad you blocked that D-bag and don't have to worry about his nasty comments any more. If you completely block him then you won't have to see any of his comments on your mutual friend's things!

Cheenomae

Holly_1007 said:

I dated this guy in college who was in a very recent break up. We were together for about a year and it was pretty clear we weren't in it for the long term so I broke up with him. He got back together with the girl he broke up with right before we met, they are getting married in a few months.

It's just a weird feeling, right? Relationships are so freaking weird...when they are over. For some, I suppose.

Holly_1007

Cheenomae said:

Holly_1007 said:

I dated this guy in college who was in a very recent break up. We were together for about a year and it was pretty clear we weren't in it for the long term so I broke up with him. He got back together with the girl he broke up with right before we met, they are getting married in a few months.

It's just a weird feeling, right? Relationships are so freaking weird...when they are over. For some, I suppose.

we met thru a mutual friend who we both keep in touch with. The mutual friend told me that he was "settling" with this girl and she could never compare to me, especially in the bedroom. So awkward! I just giggle whenever I see pics of them together.

Cheenomae

dimples12 said:

I hear why you are friends with his momma. I don't really blame him from wanting to cut you off once rejected. Rejection is hard, man.

I know. To be honest, I'm SHOCKED it didn't happen a long time ago. I guess I was just surprised why all of the sudden now. We actually had a conversation together just two weeks ago.... not he and I, but several people on one post where he and I were both involved in said conversation and so it's not like we haven't "been around" each other the last two years.

I'd love to be friends, but understand why he would not. His mom became a mother figure to me because she was there during some of the dramatic stuff going on with my mom and she really stepped up. She's made both my kids baby blankets and have come to terms that I'm never going to be her DIL, but that shouldn't stop us from being close.... I guess if he asks her to cut me off she'll have to make a decision.

Cheenomae

Holly_1007 said:

Cheenomae said:

Holly_1007 said:

I dated this guy in college who was in a very recent break up. We were together for about a year and it was pretty clear we weren't in it for the long term so I broke up with him. He got back together with the girl he broke up with right before we met, they are getting married in a few months.

It's just a weird feeling, right? Relationships are so freaking weird...when they are over. For some, I suppose.

we met thru a mutual friend who we both keep in touch with. The mutual friend told me that he was "settling" with this girl and she could never compare to me, especially in the bedroom. So awkward! I just giggle whenever I see pics of them together.

That's so funny. This guy was my first, but I'd hardly call him my best!

Eastie156

MomtobeNJ said:

Ex's are so weird. .END QUOTE.

This 100%. Within one week of getting engaged to DH, two exes contacted me. One wanted to "get together" ie: booty call and the other "just wanted to know how life was going for me". Strangely enough, neither were FB friends nor did we have any friends in common.... WTH? I politely turned #1 down after reminding him that I'd told him long ago (probably two years before when he left the state for Law School) that I never wanted him to contact me again. We broke up because he couldn't "see us having a serious relationship" because "I wasn't smart enough for him". I told him to F-off and never contact me again. Short memory, I guess. Also, pretty sure I'm smart enough to never let that ass near me again. Second ex was just weird. I always thought he might've been unsure what he wanted, but I know that for a fact now. Also, I think he might be gay or definitely bi. He used to check out other guys while we were on dates...

Cheenomae

dimples12 said:

Cheenomae said:

dimples12 said:

I hear why you are friends with his momma. I don't really blame him from wanting to cut you off once rejected. Rejection is hard, man.

I know. To be honest, I'm SHOCKED it didn't happen a long time ago. I guess I was just surprised why all of the sudden now. We actually had a conversation together just two weeks ago.... not he and I, but several people on one post where he and I were both involved in said conversation and so it's not like we haven't "been around" each other the last two years.

I'd love to be friends, but understand why he would not. His mom became a mother figure to me because she was there during some of the dramatic stuff going on with my mom and she really stepped up. She's made both my kids baby blankets and have come to terms that I'm never going to be her DIL, but that shouldn't stop us from being close.... I guess if he asks her to cut me off she'll have to make a decision.

I would totally keep you around if I was her. He obviously needs to do his work to get over you. She recognizes your benefits and wants to keep you around - you know, because you are awesome. If he would quit making weird, he could have the benefit of your friendship too. I hope he does not try to cut off your relationship with her. That just seems petty for a girl he dated a long time ago. 

Thanks, @Dimples12, that was really nice to hear. Good thinking on the pettiness of it all. We dated in 1999.....um....hello long time ago!

Cheenomae

Eastie156 said:

MomtobeNJ said:

Ex's are so weird. .END QUOTE.

This 100%. Within one week of getting engaged to DH, two exes contacted me. One wanted to "get together" ie: booty call and the other "just wanted to know how life was going for me". Strangely enough, neither were FB friends nor did we have any friends in common.... WTH? I politely turned #1 down after reminding him that I'd told him long ago (probably two years before when he left the state for Law School) that I never wanted him to contact me again. We broke up because he couldn't "see us having a serious relationship" because "I wasn't smart enough for him". I told him to F-off and never contact me again. Short memory, I guess. Also, pretty sure I'm smart enough to never let that ass near me again. Second ex was just weird. I always thought he might've been unsure what he wanted, but I know that for a fact now. Also, I think he might be gay or definitely bi. He used to check out other guys while we were on dates...
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Oh Lord, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with crazy ex pasts!! In fact, mine might not be "crazy" at all compared to some people's experiences. I think it's a good thing I met DH pretty young...I might have done some fabulous exploring only adding to my exes. I do have a few other exes, but this guy is the one that always left me wondering....until I found my own closure of course!

Eastie156

Cheenomae said:

Eastie156 said:

MomtobeNJ said:

Ex's are so weird. .END QUOTE.

This 100%. Within one week of getting engaged to DH, two exes contacted me. One wanted to "get together" ie: booty call and the other "just wanted to know how life was going for me". Strangely enough, neither were FB friends nor did we have any friends in common.... WTH? I politely turned #1 down after reminding him that I'd told him long ago (probably two years before when he left the state for Law School) that I never wanted him to contact me again. We broke up because he couldn't "see us having a serious relationship" because "I wasn't smart enough for him". I told him to F-off and never contact me again. Short memory, I guess. Also, pretty sure I'm smart enough to never let that ass near me again. Second ex was just weird. I always thought he might've been unsure what he wanted, but I know that for a fact now. Also, I think he might be gay or definitely bi. He used to check out other guys while we were on dates...
_________________________________________

____________stuck_______________

Oh Lord, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with crazy ex pasts!! In fact, mine might not be "crazy" at all compared to some people's experiences. I think it's a good thing I met DH pretty young...I might have done some fabulous exploring only adding to my exes. I do have a few other exes, but this guy is the one that always left me wondering....until I found my own closure of course!

Haha @Cheenomae I do and don't regret all the "exploring" that was done before H. It makes for some good stories!

Hyaline

My ex and I are still friends and see one another and talk often...they aren't *all* complete weirdsmobiles.

Just most of them, lol.

And this guy, cheenomae?  Yeah, he sounds a little kookoopants.  But I'm guessing he blocked you because he finally realized he can't just kind of "be around you" casually (see: kookoopants) and it's probably a smart and healthy decision for him.

MeatballEsq

Wait I missed a boob job? If I missed the pics I'm gonna be pissed!

tinyhumantoe

@mestballesq wtf where have you beeeen?

MeatballEsq

tinyhumantoe said:

@mestballesq wtf where have you beeeen?

I've been working! And super busy at work. I miss you guys!

MarisaKathleen

My only other important ex (hs to college) had me blocked for a few years on FB.  We broke up 12? 13? years ago and I can't for the life of me remember there being some big blow out or whatever that would have sparked blocking on FB, but whatever.  If he doesn't want to see how awesome my life is now, then that's ok.  Funny thing is that I'm FB friends with DH's ex wife.  She deleted DH but we've actually become "friends."  If I ever go to Colorado for anything, I would totally have a meal with her.  

Boys are weird.  This one sounds really weird @Cheenomae.

Cheenomae

@Hyaline, I totally hear you. I actually know for a fact that for him it was a smart and healthy decision to not be around me and to block me. It just makes me legitimately sad because I cared so much for him and he's a person that I would feel blessed to have in my life. Just not as a partner. I wish I could have my cake and eat it too, in this case, I think. I realize that's not fair.

@MarisaKathleen, I love how the different dynamics of relationships work out. I love hearing the stories. I'm actually fairly good friends with one of my DH's ex's (exes?), too and it's great. I can't imagine my DH being friends with my ex. My DH is just too quiet to build on an already weird relationship!!