Having a hard week.

melanchitty

Getting married on Saturday, but fiances family is not coming into town, the flowers, cake and reception have been cancelled. My mom had her pacemaker replaced on Tuesday so we naturally decided she needed to rest and we would reschedule everything since it was a very small low key occasion. However, my mom is a busy body and is annoyed with my fiancé and me for cancelling everyone. We ultimately agreed to still do a cermony on Saturday (albeit without everyone which really isn't fair to other family). But we said we would only do the ceremony then we would go into the city for a couple of nights to do our own thing. I haven't gotten anything but grief over this and I'm really agitated. We also just moved into town and my fiances job offer fell through so we are both jobless/insurance less and I just don't want to stress over this. Any support encouragement needed. I really just want my mom to rest but instead I'm getting a holy reign of a tornado brought down upon me. I don't know how to handle it. Sorry this is so long I'll be 17 weeks on Sunday and in happy news I can feel little bean kickin around

erynpdx

Oh jeez.  This sound so rough.  Not sure that I have any advice other than to just enjoy yourself and not let the family drama ruin it.
Good luck and congrats!

DoctorWorm222

1) Get married how/when you want. Weddings bring out the worst in people, so you'll get grief no matter what you do. Just make yourself happy and don't worry about anyone else. They'll l get over it.

2) Buy insurance for yourself through the public exchange. Its worth the money even if you're dirt poor and it causes you to go into a bit of debt. You never know what can happen during pregnancy, and a hospital stay could bankrupt you. I had a rough pregnancy that landed me in the hospital around once a week between weeks 28-36. I can't imagine the bill if we hadn't had insurance.

ninee88

I'm sorry you are having such a tough week. My suggestion would be to do what will make you and your fiancé happy as far as the ceremony. If you want to do it Saturday on your own, do it. If you want to wait for everyone tone together, wait...regardless of what your mom says.

As for jobs/insurance, GL and hopefully that gets back on track soon!

mcr957

I'm very sorry that you are going through this and I hope things improve for your mother, you, and your fiance. I know it may be difficult, but try to focus on the fact that you and your fiance love each other, will be married soon, and have a healthy baby kicking around. 

Family members may disagree or be disappointed, but ultimately they will come around and see that your intentions were good. Hopefully, you have additional friends and family you can lean on for support, but if not, we're always around. Sending positive thoughts, prayers, and (creepy) internet hugs your way! 

abcmom12

sorry to hear you're going through all this, especially while pregnant.  I hope you and your fiance find work and come through this whole episode stronger.

go baby kicks!

DoctorWorm222

I just re-read your thread ... if you're both unemployed right now, go apply for Medicaid STAT.

nesenotes

That's why we eloped. Too many opinions and too many people to please.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I'm sorry you had to postpone everything and your mom isn't happy.

I agree completely with PP get married where and when you want. Whatever is easiest and the lowest stress for you.

path75

So sorry you are dealing with this. I hope your finances job situation changes soon. As far as the wedding dont worry. You do what is best at the moment. No reason to incur further cost to satisfy family. Once your finances change you can have a nice reception later. Good luck with everything.

Eora3

I am sorry you are dealing with so much stress. Weddings are over-rated in my opinion. Do what you want when you want and tell your family to back off. It isn't about them anyway.

Focus on your little bean and find the help you need for him/her (food banks, Medicade, etc). Those programs exist for just this type of situation. Life happens and we all need a little help every now and then.

agsgrrl

I've been engaged for over a year myself because I got tired of dealing with stuff like that... Baby made it so now I really get to go low key wedding (which I'm happy about). Us, parents, baby and judge sounds perfect to me I just say try not to stress, take a breather and see how things fall into place for a reception soon. Sorry things are stressing you out though!

NerdyNurse

Family gets crazy no matter what you do! My extended family was upset at my wedding because I didn't do large group shots. Wtf? So people will complain no matter what! Just be selfish and do what you want for your wedding!!!

For sure get in contact and get setup with state insurance so you still get appropriate prenatal care.

melanchitty

Thanks for the advice and love y'all. Totally forgot about Medicaid in the midst of all of this. I feel a little better looking at options. I'm focusing on things post wedding now and it's definitely cheering me up. Really thankful for D14