daycare blues

ballygirl

This is our 2nd week in daycare and I HATE it. I mean, the place is nice and the people are nice but there's so much crying! This morning it started before we even got in the building, while I was getting them out of the car (another thing I hate - having to lug around a double stroller just to go 30 feet into the building. PITA) Lizzy, in particular seems to be having a rough time of it. She's a little shier than Haley. I thought I'd be ok with it because I'm used to a lot of crying now and have gotten a little hardened to it, but it is awful leaving them like that. How long before they get used to it?    I miss the nanny. They never cried when I left them with her.

 

Also, they were playing Kenny G in the infant room when I picked them up on Tuesday. Kenny fucking-G.

(

sweettooth87

Sorry you're having a rough transition. It will get better! Hugs!

Milo juussttt started crying when I left him, so I think part of it may just be the age/a development thing like object permanence. Once they get to know their providers, they will be so excited when you enter their room in the morning. Milo seriously lights up when he sees his teacher.

Teresa1489

Hugs! Sorry you guys are having a rough time, hope it gets better soon! I don't have any advice but DD has also started crying when I just leave the room so I agree it's partly the age.. Good luck!!

ballygirl

The whole infant room was wailing when I left this morning. In addition to my two girls, there is another new infant the same age who started last week and she isn't used to it yet either. We both arrived at the same time, so all 3 girls were screaming and then there's another little boy in there who started crying just because everyone else was crying. I felt bad for the teachers in there today.

jennlin

um. kenny g is the shit.

deedee1017

@tyrannosaurusbeck I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  You're a great momma doing what you have to do and giving Farrah someone wonderful to look up to.

@ballygirl  What is the teacher to child ratio?  Do you think the class is overwhelmed?  I think two weeks is still pretty new, especially if the girls were used to being in the comfort of their own home.  Also, at this age our babies show empathy to other babies, so I'm sure it's not helping that the other babies are crying.  Is the daycare close enough for you to pop in on your lunch or some time during the day?  Maybe seeing them play and happy after the initial morning tears would make you feel better?

Hugs to both of you, and the other moms dealing with daycare sads.  I have my bad days too, but I see a world of a difference in DD and I know she loves being with the other kids.

MrsStuessyWI

I worked in the infant room for awhile when I was working at a daycare center. The first couple weeks were almost always rough for the babies, except for the really easy going/ outgoing ones. Every single time it got better. Even the high needs babies were happy the majority of the day. They probably are not crying that much, just when you leave or they see you picking them up. That was usually the case where I worked. 

I'm sorry it is going so rough for you. I'm sure it will get better. 

stephl3055

Sweet Tooth 87 said:

Sorry you're having a rough transition. It will get better! Hugs! Milo juussttt started crying when I left him, so I think part of it may just be the age/a development thing like object permanence. Once they get to know their providers, they will be so excited when you enter their room in the morning. Milo seriously lights up when he sees his teacher.

I'm starting to notice that LO is hesitant to go to the teachers when I drop her off now.  She loves her teachers, but when I try to hand her off she clings onto my shirt or turns away from the teacher.  She's fine once they have her, she just doesn't want to go at first.  

ballygirl

@deedee1017 the ratio is 3 infants to 1 teacher for all daycares in MA.  There are usually 2 teachers in there and 5-6 infants, so I think that is reasonable and the women all seem really good with the babies. 

 

 It is less than a mile from my work but I haven't gone in on my lunch break yet because I don't want them to see me and get all riled up.  They do have a closed circuit camera with a TV set up in the lobby though, so I could go and just check the TV.  Maybe I'll do that today. I am wondering if it will take them longer to adjust since they only go 2 days per week. 

deedee1017

ballygirl said:

@deedee1017 the ratio is 3 infants to 1 teacher for all daycares in MA.  There are usually 2 teachers in there and 5-6 infants, so I think that is reasonable and the women all seem really good with the babies. 

 

 It is less than a mile from my work but I haven't gone in on my lunch break yet because I don't want them to see me and get all riled up.  They do have a closed circuit camera with a TV set up in the lobby though, so I could go and just check the TV.  Maybe I'll do that today. I am wondering if it will take them longer to adjust since they only go 2 days per week. 

3:1 is great!  I hope I didn't come off as implying that you weren't taking them to a good daycare.  That wasn't my intent at all.  Sorry.

I agree that seeing you now, before they are used to dc, might rile them up, but it may give you some peace of mind to see them on the TV.  It'll give you the opportunity to (hopefully) see them enjoying themselves.

ballygirl

@deedee1017 -no worries, I didn't take it that way  

blondolphn

I was told that it can take a couple of weeks when they tranaition

ncase2

Lia1303 said:

Have the teachers mentioned how long they cry after you leave? The one kid in DS's class sobs hysterically when his mom leaves the room but within 2 minutes he's completely over it. Fwiw it took DS a few weeks to get used to daycare and he goes full time. I'm sure since the girls only go two days a week it will take a little longer to get used too since it's not part of a daily routine. Good luck I know it's hard, but I agree with @tyrannosaurusbeck‌ at some point they start to love their teachers and the it's the opposite end of the hard spectrum.

This^^^^^^. Hugs, it will get better! Before you know it they'll be too embarrassed to have you drop them off to school

carawasa

I agree about the timing deft. I hated hated hated everything about DC the first month or so. I was sad and jealous, but she really has been learning a lot from going a few times a week. Maybe they're crying because your dropping them off someplace vs them watching you leave your house, if that makes sense. Give it a few weeks mama, if not maybe try finding another nanny!

ballygirl

yeah, I know it is good in the long run, so we'll stick with it. Its good for them to have exposure to lots of people and new places and the day care does fun things with them that I don't get to do at home. Like, on Tuesday they had some folks from a local farm or something come and they brought a bunny and a ferret and some other animals that they were allowed to touch and look at. And, they have each other. I don't know if that is really comforting to them yet or not, but I like to think it is.

TREDgirl

Aww that must be hard to drop off two crying babies! Ours have been in DC since 13 weeks, and I absolutely LOVE the all the staff there. I'm sure it's just a new transition for them, and being at this age they realize that you are leaving and not taking them. I agree that I would ask how long they cry for after you leave. 

On the transportation front on bringing them in this is why I haven't started using our convertible car seats yet. I don't want to buy a cheapy umbrella stroller when we have a really nice double stroller. But at the same time I don't want to bust out the double for like 30 feet. I'm thinking maybe putting one in the ergo and then carrying one. Not sure yet. I should test it out at home this weekend. 

hartsl01

Sweet Tooth 87 said:

Sorry you're having a rough transition. It will get better! Hugs! Milo juussttt started crying when I left him, so I think part of it may just be the age/a development thing like object permanence. Once they get to know their providers, they will be so excited when you enter their room in the morning. Milo seriously lights up when he sees his teacher.

I also agree with this. DS just started getting a little fussy/clingy to me when I drop him off. He will eventually go to one teacher (he seems to prefer one over the others and goes to her easier) but will still give me that look that says 'don't leave me'. It does get better but I've wondered lately if it is an age thing that they are going through. I log into the camera system when I get to work and he is happily playing with the other kids. 

ballygirl

@TREDgirl - Do you seriously carry both infant car seats into the DC at the same time? How big are your babies? How big are your biceps? I had to stop using the infant seats a month ago because I could barely carry one at a time, deft not 2! I was literally THROWING the car seats into the bases in the car because I couldn't lift them up that high. #iamaweakling

ballygirl

Well, I went in an checked on them during my lunch break.  They were both sleeping so I didn't get to see them but, sleep is good. 

ncase2

What kind of farm has ferrets??? Lol

ncase2

Also @TREDgirl‌ for biggest biceps badge

CousinVicki

maybe they were crying because of the music selection, i know I would.

but really, it must be super hard to do, i'm sorry. =(

TREDgirl

ballygirl said:

@TREDgirl - Do you seriously carry both infant car seats into the DC at the same time? How big are your babies? How big are your biceps? I had to stop using the infant seats a month ago because I could barely carry one at a time, deft not 2! I was literally THROWING the car seats into the bases in the car because I couldn't lift them up that high. #iamaweakling

Haha you'd think I'd have great biceps by now!!! Between that and my trainer I'm working on it. Rowan is 16 1/2 pounds and I think Griffin is around 20 + their 9 pound each carseat and yeah they are getting heavy. And yeah I bring them in at the same time now. That's why I'm unsure how to handle the in and out from the new seats. 

ballygirl

ncase2 said:

What kind of farm has ferrets??? Lol

It wasn't a farm.  I just looked at the daycare website again.  Its called Animal Adventures. I guess they do educational programs with schools and bring around animals or something.  I don't know. They had a skunk and a baby alligator and a python too apparently.

deedee1017

@ballygirl I was thinking about you today and wondering how the girls are doing at daycare. Has it gotten any better/easier?

ballygirl

@deedee1017 - thanks for thinking of us!  Its marginally better, but they still don't love it.  Haley is doing a little better, as I expected.  She's a little more outgoing and a little more easily distracted by toys and things.  Lizzy is shier around new people, so I think it will be harder for her until she really bonds with the teacher.  Lots of tears when I drop them off and when I go pick them up as well.  You'd think they'd be happy to see me but they get mad all over again. The other day I spied on Lizzy before I went in and she was just sitting quietly with a toy and then she looked up and saw me and just started wailing. 

deedee1017

ballygirl said:

@deedee1017 - thanks for thinking of us!  Its marginally better, but they still don't love it.  Haley is doing a little better, as I expected.  She's a little more outgoing and a little more easily distracted by toys and things.  Lizzy is shier around new people, so I think it will be harder for her until she really bonds with the teacher.  Lots of tears when I drop them off and when I go pick them up as well.  You'd think they'd be happy to see me but they get mad all over again. The other day I spied on Lizzy before I went in and she was just sitting quietly with a toy and then she looked up and saw me and just started wailing. 

Aw, poor Lizzie just wants her mama! I'm glad its "marginally better" because that means there is some improvement. I bet it will get better with time. It is a big change for the girls and as you said, going twice a week may mean a slower acclimation. It's good that they have each other too. Hopefully they find some comfort in that. Are you adjusting better? Do you still hate it?

If it makes you feel any better, dd is a VERY social child. She started daycare at 6 months and she didn't speak for over a week when she started. One day, I went to go pick her up and she yelped. Her teachers were shocked that she spoke. It's an adjustment, but in time it will get better for all three of you.