I don't want a baby shower.

SummerB0607

This is my first baby but I don't want to have a shower. Does anyone else NOT want a shower? Or is it just me?

Shananagann

I want the baby stuff, but I hate being the center of attention and I don't like people touching my belly. I dunno if that's your reasons, but I do kinda understand where you're coming from.

absolutelymaybe

Yeah ditto what @kyliedaniellexx‌ said.

Personally I'm excited for mine. Even though I hate being the center of attention and am totally awkward and shy, we went through so much to make these babies and I'm going to enjoy the shit out of all the fun baby related stuff I never thought I'd get to experience.

ckwick

We didn't have a baby shower with ourfirst, other than a small going away party/shower with my work team (a small group of five others) before I left to stay home. We had tons of friends and family visit in the hospital and days/weeks following the birth bringing food, gifts, etc, which was really nice. I personally don't like feeling like I'm making people commit to coming over to socialize with others they don't know, buy me gifts that I already picked out, etc. I found that those who wanted to support us could do so on their own terms and bring gifts if wanted (without being asked) and it was more supportive and rewarding to see the love and support pour in without asking for it. It felt genuine and it was fun to have visitors meet our new baby!

I've heard of a thing called a "sip n' see" where you can have a casual gathering after baby is born and serve champagne and snacks, allowing friends/family to come meet the baby. You could always do that, and I'm sure without registering people would bring gifts regardless.

Either way, do what feels right in your heart. Having a shower felt uncomfortable to me, and I'm happy we fought tradition to stick true to what we felt was right for us.

NunyaBennis

I'm not particularly looking forward to mine. My sister wouldn't take no for an answer, and I didn't feel like pissing her off enough to put my foot down, so we'll see what happens. She knows me well enough to keep it casual, I just don't have any idea who will be invited. I don't really have any close friends and family is spread all over the place. It may end up just being me & her organizing the nursery while listening to a football game... which doesn't sound that bad at all

If you really hate the idea that much, take the stand and refuse. Otherwise, just relax and go with the flow. As uncomfortable as you'll probably be at the end of this pregnancy anyway... what's another few hours?

carcrashheart

A girl in my moms group didn't either, so, she didn't. The only thing she regretted was having to buy everything since there were no gifts. Totally your call.

milanese0521

We dont want one either and we're getting a lot of push back from our family... not sure what all the hype is about.

Lilwatz

milanese0521 said:

We dont want one either and we're getting a lot of push back from our family... not sure what all the hype is about.

So, I LOVE planning/throwing baby and wedding showers, but HATE attending them.  I am sure most people hate it too.  But I wouldn't want to not go (if that makes sense).  Because to me, and I think a lot of other people too, it's not just about giving gifts to the bride-or mom-to-be, it's about celebrating with the people you love.  THAT is why I am really excited about my shower.  My husband and I are lucky enough to be able to provide all the basics for our daughter--it's not about gifts.  It's about celebrating the new life that I am carrying and getting advice from experienced moms and well wishes from friends and family.  I think that's the hype.

Having said all that, do what you want.  Not sure why this is even a thread.  

venussapphire

I didn't with DD. I had gotten married a year earlier and I didn't want a repeat of my bridal shower. Dh's family completely ignored me and all went in on cheap gifts. Which I know makes me sound like a bitch but do 6 of you have to go in on a $50 gift card? How does that make me feel. Plus my friends did most of the work and SIL got all the praise (and accepted it) which just pissed my friends off. So when people asked if I wanted one I said nope. 

After DD was born she still got a ton of gifts that people would bring by when they came to meet her.

SweetMelissa5

kyliedaniellexx said:

If you don't want one, don't have one. You don't have to. 

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I never gave any thought to a baby shower, and then I was completely thrown when I showed up at my surprise shower, so I would say that if you don't want one, you should definitely try to spread the word so that you're not completely blindsided by a surprise shower.

justjinny

I didn't do a shower with DS and still got lots of gifts when he came home.  Most of our family members sent cards & gift cards, which was better than shower gifts since we could use them for diapers, wipes & all the other boring things you won't get at a shower but actually NEED with a newborn.

We threw a sip'n see when DS was about 4 months old and it was really fun.  It was more fun to have a mixed group of kids, guys & girls and not do the whole sit around and play silly shower games thing.  Also it was fun for everyone to have a chance to meet DS without us feeling like we had to travel to visit people we don't normally see. I felt like we had a good party to mark the occasion of an addition to our family, without forcing me to be the center of attention.