Anyone see this article? Modern Parenting in Crisis?

pudgybunny

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5552527?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
Thoughts? Opinons?

Discuss...

EtA for autocorrect issues

KingLED

I don't have kids so I can't really say how I would actually react in those situations. However, I think at least the sippy cup example sounds like the making of a bratty kid if it's a regular thing. But if a parent switches cups to avoid a tantrum when they're having a bad day and it's not really a normal thing that's completely different. If that makes sense. 

autumn1192

Pretty much spot-on. The "fear of our children" hit home with me; I find myself in that position quite often, although I would not have articulated it in quite the same way as the author. 

FitMom3510

I read this earlier, I felt it gave me some things to think about for the future. The sippy cup thing was a little on the ridiculous side if it happened once the next time I would give them options of a color to choose, but most of the rest of it I agree with but my opinion cold of course change when I'm in the moment and have a child. 

ToryKate

I loved this article. It came up on my FB feed over the weekend and I read it to H. Sometimes I am afraid I wont be a very good mother because I am the kind of person who would just put the milk cup in the fridge and let my child know they could have it when they calmed down. I am not a coddler and sometimes that scares me when I see so many mothers around me bending over backwards to placate their children. 

BillyHorrible

I think a lot of this is a reach.    It takes a good idea just a bit too far.  In general you can't and shouldn't cater to your child's every desire.  My dad used to sing The Rolling Stones to me all the time as a child.  "You can't always get what you want."

But at the same time, they also taught me to pick my battles.  And I think that's what most parents do.  I think the examples the author gives are a bit of an exaggeration.

1) Fear of a tantrum:  I don't usually give in to the sippy cup issue, but that's because I ask before I pour.  The entire reason the kid is asking is because they like feeling like they have control.  They don't.  They're kids.  So letting them have the illusion of control may mean no tantrum, but who is it hurting?  Why would you actively seek out a situation just to cause a tantrum so that you can say "Ha!  I win this one!  I'm the boss of you!"

2 & 3 contradict themselves.  In 2, the author says that children are capable of behaving appropriately.  In 3, the author says that a child throwing a tantrum shows the parent is appropriately ignoring the child's demands.  So which is it?  Should your child be behaving or throwing tantrums?  Both apparently are commentary on your parenting ability.  Neither could possibly have anything to do with the situational or environmental aspects going on.  The only thing I agree with here is that parents inappropriately attack teachers because their special snowflakes are perfect.

4  Some of these "short cuts" aren't shortcuts at all.  Picking up your kid after they fall down isn't a "short cut" it's helping them.  You would do the same to an elderly woman who fell.  I hope the author wouldn't stand there as grandma struggled with her walker saying "You're 90 grandma, you don't need my help." 

5 This one to me was the most bizarre.  I have never seen a parent race across a park to get their child a drink.  Most of us have some kind of cup with us at all times.  Not because we put our kids needs before our own, but I guess this is one of those shortcuts that are so bad.  Plus, you have no idea what the situation is.  Maybe that kid has a UTI and the water bottle is empty.  Maybe the kid is diabetic and needs something to eat immediately.

SpartanChick88

I agree with all in general but I'm also the mom who just told the 3 year old to suck it up when she came whimpering to me after someone bumped her by accident.

I think the author may have exaggerated a bit to prove a point... I see rude, over - indulged children who have wrestled control from their parents every day. I won't tolerate certain behaviors from my child - I expect manners, I expect proper behavior in certain situations and that is what it I get. Hard ass? Maybe... but I won't contribute to the delinquency that I see becoming our society.

suzysurparis

I read this on FB and the pop-out box had the links to the articles about why French kids are so much better behaved.
I take all of these articles with a grain of salt. They get a lot of traffic to the website while playing on our insecurities. Parenting is a big job and kids learn to manipulate you just as much as you learn to manipulate them. They're just little people, everyone's different and there's no perfect way to do it. Provided I dont emotionally or physically abuse my future children, I'm just going to do the best I can and expect they'll turn out fine.

MrsGreen92014

After raising other peoples kids as my own both professionally and socially (as well as my brothers) I can say these are all issues I see with parents and that I have show them how to overcome. You are the adult, you are in control as soon as the kids figure out how to control you it's game over.
Clear expectations, defined consequences and follow through. These are my best tips for all parents, I intend to raise my kids the same way I raise all the kids I nannied.
People always tell me it's difrent when they are your own but I have treated every kid In my life like my own.

MamaBina

I also take stuff like this with a grain of salt. Now in our days of insane technology everyone is always being thrown a million different ideas about how to be the best parent. My sister has a 1 year old, and she uses the "RIE" parenting method and refuses to believe that anyone should use any other method. Its ridiculous. You don't need a specific method, you just need to be the best parent you can be. 

If anyone has looked up the RIE parenting method and wants to mock my sister with me, please do. Its totally totally insane. 

catlover790

I'm not a parent so I can't really relate to most of the points. However, in my experience as a teacher I have seen many times where parents expect teachers to cater to their child. I had one parent conference this year where the student wasn't staying after school like she was supposed to for extra help and the mom was upset saying the teachers need to make more progress! I was thinking, "extra help time is when your child can get that extra support". I don't know if I would say parenting in General is in crisis, but I think lots of things are changing in general. So I'm undecided!