April 2013 Moms
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Sex/Vibrators :-/

I can't believe I'm even asking this, but... Is there anyone else here that can only orgasm with using a vibrator durng sex? We are on vacaton and, first, it was a miracle we actually attempted to have sex. But, we didn't bring any toys and it was just kind of.....eh. Didn't do too much for me. I'd forgotten how dependent I was on my vibrator, which makes me feel like I freak. :-/ Is there anyone else in this boat?
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Re: Sex/Vibrators :-/

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    I personally don't have this issue because I use toys on my own, but I have read about this. It's kind of like your body is used to something so it can be hard to get there with out it. So, to alleviate that they recommended to venture into different placements, depth, ect. with the toys so your body isn't relying on memory. Hope that helps.
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    Not in this boat but I know you're not alone. A girlfriend of mine has this exact same problem. Vibrators make reaching orgasm easy. I would guess your body needs to relearn how to orgasm without it.
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
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    I def don't want to sound snarky but if this were my situation , I would def put the vibrator away for a while and spend more time having sex with my husband. Explore new positions and extend the foreplay a bit. Does your husband know this is the case? If so I can't imagine how this might make him feel. I agree with @ sherina825 that your body has gotten used to things, so switch it up so your body doesn't know what to expect. Good luck.
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    It's intense --definitely a common problem. Go back to your own hands first and then work on things with the hubs ;-)
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    Kate_CKate_C member
    Have you tried oral as an alternative to the vibrator? Or a position where he can provide outside stimulation with his hands during sex? I don't always finish with just sex, but I can with manual stimulation. Go back to the basics and be patient with your body!
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    Hey!  Let's break this down!  Is it a dual action vibrator?  85% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.  The typical in and out movement does not provide stimulation to that area.   Are you able to reach orgasm solo without a vibrator?  I could continue with questions in attempt to help find you a solution but I am unsure how open you would like to be.  Hopefully something already mentioned may sound familiar.
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    I need clitoral stimulation or I won't finish. Usually H just uses his hand in addition.
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    Agg, I feel so defeated. I guess I didn't see it as a huge issue, but I guess it is. Manual stimulation and oral stimulation don't do anything for me either. I haven't tried manual stimulation on my own in a long, long time. I think it'd work, but take a lonnnnnnnnng time. Sigh, I just feel so down. Like this is one more reason our relationship is not up to snuff.
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    Kate_CKate_C member
    Maybe you just need to be more patient with your body -- kind of like you got "spoiled" that the vibrator works well and quickly, so you don't have the patience for something that takes longer??  Maybe have a glass of red wine first so you're more relaxed and hopefully more patient and get creative (and non-mechanical).  
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    It took a vibrator for me to learn how to get there. Now my DH can with with manual stimulation, but it does take a while for me. I have never been able to do it on my own...I just can't concentrate enough. Don't let this get you down. It took me 3 years before I decided to get a vibrator. I still felt like we had a good sex life; it has always been very "connecting" for us. For a long time, I thought maybe I just wasn't able to achieve orgasm. It turns out that my husband was doing every thing right, I just had to concentrate and let me body get to that point instead of getting nervous, embarrassed, or frustrated. 
    Married July 2008.  TTC 2010.
    Stephen James born 4/24/13 after 27 hours of labor and 2.5 hours of pushing!
    Due with #2   4/16/15


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    I highly recommend some erotic fiction to get the motor running before trying to retrain your own body how to get there using your own hands... Happy to recommend a free and tasteful website ;-)
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    Kate_CKate_C member
    JSS1002 said:

    I highly recommend some erotic fiction to get the motor running before trying to retrain your own body how to get there using your own hands... Happy to recommend a free and tasteful website ;-)

    So THAT'S what you meant when you said you do a lot of blogging...
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    Kate_C said:
    I highly recommend some erotic fiction to get the motor running before trying to retrain your own body how to get there using your own hands... Happy to recommend a free and tasteful website ;-)
    So THAT'S what you meant when you said you do a lot of blogging...
    Bahahhaaha.  No, I just read, not write, ze erotica. ;-)


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    JSS1002 said:
    Kate_C said:
    I highly recommend some erotic fiction to get the motor running before trying to retrain your own body how to get there using your own hands... Happy to recommend a free and tasteful website ;-)
    So THAT'S what you meant when you said you do a lot of blogging...
    Bahahhaaha.  No, I just read, not write, ze erotica. ;-)


    Unless you mean food porn. I write a lot about that. ;-)
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