ELECTIVE IVF?!! Should I consider it? - Page 2 — The Bump
September 2014 Moms

ELECTIVE IVF?!! Should I consider it?

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  • IVF should be reserved for people who need it and cannot reproduce any other way.  I always wanted my babies to have my blue eyes (they have hazel) but that doesn't mean I'm going to make a test tube child for that to happen. 

    To the bolded do you have any idea how offensive and hurtful that is?

    DH and I may joke around and call baby girl our little science baby, but you took it a little too far here. You made it sound like she's some sort of undesirable science experiment. I appreciate the point you're trying to make, @mamakate12345‌ , but don't make it sound like IVF/IUI is beneath you.
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
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    mrsdanielleM2010
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  • I went through 6 cycles of fertility meds, iui's, a CP and much heartbreak and disappointment before I got this miracle I am carrying now. If my last super aggressive IUI cycle with injections didn't work we would have moved on to IVF. It was a heartbreaking journey that had a happy ending. That being said, family balancing wouldn't necessarily be the choice I would make, but if you and your husband both really want to do that then I say do what you want. Many clinics by me in Seattle do family balancing. It won't be fun and it will be expensive, but it's your choice. :)
    Family balancing is just another way of saying, "our family isn't complete without X". Like Carm said, kids aren't accessories. You balance an outfit with a necklace or scarf. You don't balance a family with a boy. Fucking stupid.
    I agree, but that is what the offices call it.  It is not my term. 
    Oh, I know that. I was referring to the term not to you.

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  • JD83JD83
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    I know I'm going to take some heat for this, but I just want to say that I really don't think that OP deserves the wrath that she's received on this thread. From the beginning, she's been against this procedure for the same reasons you've all stated, she's agreed with you, all she wanted was more information to tell her husband (who absolutely deserves the wrath sent his way) so she could rely on scientific reasons to refuse the request as opposed to emotional arguments, and you certainly delivered. Let's face it, most people don't know what really goes into IVF/IUI unless they've been through it. Before this thread, all I knew is that it's expensive, unpleasant, and not guaranteed to work. I knew nothing of the details you ladies have said, and I applaud your persistence and dedication to your babies. The question could definitely have been worded better, no doubt, and I get that this is an extremely sensitive subject, but I just think she was not the right target on this one. But yes, OP should absolutely show this thread to her husband so he can see for himself how contentious and contemptible the notion of a "designer baby" really is.


    punnybunny Ivorytower2SingleMom31
  • @JD83‌ I think plenty of wrath was thrown her husband's way and others have suggested he be shown this thread.

    I did notice that OP is against the idea, I asked for a real apology from her though because she could have researched a bit on her own, she could have worded her question better, and when she realized she hurt and offended women that have been through IVF she gave an "I'm sorry, but..." type of apology. A real one would go a long way, but yes OP was just looking for information... and she got it.
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  • tromboner said:
    @JD83‌ I think plenty of wrath was thrown her husband's way and others have suggested he be shown this thread. I did notice that OP is against the idea, I asked for a real apology from her though because she could have researched a bit on her own, she could have worded her question better, and when she realized she hurt and offended women that have been through IVF she gave an "I'm sorry, but..." type of apology. A real one would go a long way, but yes OP was just looking for information... and she got it.
    There is a lot of information out there about IVF...including about the procedure and regarding any issues that may arise with over-stimulation and possible ovarian damage. Before we discussed IVF with my doctor, I did some quick research so I'd be as informed as possible going into our WTF appt. Even if you're not going through it, there are plenty of resources out there if you want to know more about it.
    Also, there are boards on here, 3T and IF, that she could have lurked on to gain more information about the emotional aspects as well. Instead, there was a blatant disregard for the sensitivity of the subject and the feelings of the women who have gone through such a thing...especially with the "I'm sorry but I'm right" apology where she defended her husband. I honestly think that if the OP was as against it as she said she was and aware that it may hurt feelings, she would have done her research before posting on a board.
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
    ~Love and Light to everyone~ 
    image image
    My furbabies--Mr. Bubbles and Miss Kitty <3
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker  

    image image
    trombonerformerwigirlkaleb87
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