Politely declining co-hosting with MTB's family? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Politely declining co-hosting with MTB's family?

MTB's sister has asked if my co-host and I would hold a joint shower with her side of the family.  We really don't want to.  It's already a planning challenge for us as we live a few hours apart and already have a guest list of about 50 people, which would double.  I have found a venue that works with our numbers and budget but won't accommodate more guests.  Also, her family's tastes tend more toward high-end, higher budget affairs, and we aren't up for it.  Co-host also thinks we would end up being the gofers in that situation, rather than co-hosts.  So, I guess our decision is made, but how to decline without causing hard feelings?

Re: Politely declining co-hosting with MTB's family?

  • You might also want to tell your co-host that she needs to toughen up a bit. IT appears they think she is a pushover.
    ElaineMOH
  • Wow, it appears that you won the lottery of baby shower grief.

    I agree that you need to be firm and not provide excuses. If you give people excuses, they can argue with them. If you just say no, they may think bad things about you, but at least they can't dispute your reasons.

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    [Deleted User]
  • This is small potatoes compared to the other stuff that has been going on, lol!  I'm just not always that diplomatic and it helps to run things by cooler heads!

     

    [Deleted User]SingleMom31[Deleted User]vterp
  • VORVOR
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    "I'm sorry, but we're unable to host a joint shower.  Our chosen venue cannot accommodate more guests than we're already planned for.  However, I'm sure MTB wouldn't mind if your side held a separate shower."
    The only thing, though, is that this opens the door to "Oh, but we'll help you find a bigger venue".  UNLESS, Elaine, you've put down a deposit OR are willing to lie and say that you've put down a non-refundable deposit...??

    But really, less is more.  "Oh, thanks for the offer, but that really won't work for us.". They ask "oh, why not?".  You just say "we've already got plans set and making changes now simply won't work.  But again, thanks for asking.".  If they STILL push for details, then you just say "I would prefer to not go into our plans."

    You don't actually owe them anything.  Remember that!  But hopefully they'll take your first "no" and just drop it.
    [Deleted User]
  • "I'm sorry, but we're unable to host a joint shower.  Our chosen venue cannot accommodate more guests than we're already planned for.  However, I'm sure MTB wouldn't mind if your side held a separate shower."
    All of this.  It sounds like you're already pretty far progressed with your own plans and suddenly adding 50 more people would change everything and throw a spanner in the works.  Just decline politely.  The other person doesn't need to know part of the reason is financial.
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/2uetngj.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/9ve5at.jpg[/IMG]
  • Sorry for the delayed reply, was able to sneak in some vacation time!  My co-host handled it and said our plans were already underway but thanks for thinking of us!  Well done!

     

    vterp[Deleted User][Deleted User]nmrd
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