In need of a pep talk.... — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

In need of a pep talk....

Are any if you dealing with a spouse who just isn't around to help? LO is 7 weeks old, and DH just opened a new business. He's there 9am-10pm 7 days a week. I work full time, and now I'm solely responsible for LO, plus grocery shopping, laundry, cooking etc. I have no family in the area, and his family is not helpful. his mother is very unsteady on her feet, and always tries to walk around with the baby. She almost fell once holding him, so I just don't feel comfortable leaving LO alone with them. I understand that he needs to be at the business right now, but the pressure of being responsible for LO, PLUS the only one of us bringing home a paycheck, PLUS all the little day-to-day stuff around the house is really tough. And I can't complain to DH because then he just feels bad for not being home. My mom is coming for a week, thank goodness, but I don't know how long this is going to last....

Re: In need of a pep talk....

  • jenn43jenn43
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    I'm actually pretty lucky in that respect. We have a lawn guy, and someone who cleans every couple weeks. I really shouldn't complain. But it gets lonely. I do not know how single moms do it.

  • We just had our 2nd child and my DH is not around much at all during the week. He leaves before the kids get up and he gets home as they are tucked in or already asleep. There are weeks it is rough but here is what we do -

    Even though he works a lot he has to chip in when he is home, even if he just does a few little things. Even something as simple as him putting dishes in the DW or setting up coffee help me feel like i am not totally alone in this.

    Get some help when you need it. If you don't have a sitter/neighbor/friend you can the baby with for a little while then at least get a housekeeper or shop online for groceries, get someone to do the lawn - anything to free one or both of you up a bit.

    Get out of the house. Even though it may seem like a chore, getting out with the kids is essential to keeping me from losing my mind and it helps the day go by faster.

    Let things slide when you need to.

    When you are having a bad day, don't be afraid to call DH and say "can you ease come home a little earlier" or give the baby a bottle in the middle of the night or give you some relief on the weekend - whatever he can do. And make sure he does it.

    Don't forget he is probably missing you guys and missing having time with your LO. If I send my DH a picture here and there or call just to say hi rather than only calling him if I am having a meltdown it helps him feel more connected to us. Because my DH is gone so much he feels like the odd man out a lot of times so he likes it when I share the good times - not just the bad.


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  • eek, I can't imagine, I'd be going crazy.  Can you ask friends to help out?
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  • purtzpurtz
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    Hope things are better with your Mom's help. My mom just left and I miss her already! Start planning now for extra help after she leaves. We found a local baby sitter to help for a few hours here and there to help keep me sane!


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