Baby Shower Hell — The Bump
Baby Showers

Baby Shower Hell

So, I received an email from an in-law that it is my "place" to put on a baby shower for another family member who I do not get along with.  Not wanting to rock the boat, and not feeling it was a battle worth choosing, I agreed.  Funny, that the people in the family who traditionally host the showers decided not to touch this one, but now that I am hosting, two of them are full of demands as to what needs to be done.  I asked another woman in the family to co-host, and she has agreed.  We have received calls re: when to have it, where to have it, who to invite, who not to invite, what the theme HAS to be,  what food to serve...you name it.  I have deflected the "requests" by saying "thanks for the suggestion...we will let you know what we decide".  Now they have decided that my co-host is the weaker link and have concentrated on her, and she is starting to crack.  I am ready to tell them I am out, if they are so intent on having their way they can take it over.  So not worth the hassle, especially considering the MTB is extremely hard to please and will probably not be appreciative anyway.  The latest insult is an email that stated we are basically just "figurehead" hostesses, and the plans should really be up to the family to decide on.  Biting my tongue before answering and ultimately burning a couple of bridges - any suggestions on how to deal with this are welcome. What I've been doing isn't working  :(

Re: Baby Shower Hell

  • mommy5point0mommy5point0
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    member
    edited June 2014
    Oh my god, poor you, Elaine.

    "It sounds like you have a pretty distinct vision of how things should be and my ideas don't really fit into that. I'm contributing $$$ (if you want to) to help with the costs but either way, I am not best suited for this."

    Again, the $$ is a BIG if you want to. Because it's inlaws and they're gonna talk shit anyway, it's up to you.

    Side note: I was in a similar situation when DH and I were just dating, though not nearly as bad. MIL wanted help planning a shower for SIL, their cousin was hurt she was left out, so we included her. Once that happened, SIL was HEAVILY involved in the planning.

    What we ended up with was a diaper raffle & DIY TY addressing among SIL snubbing my gift in front of her friends and telling me basically that I wouldn't ever be considered an aunt.

    When she got PG again when that kid was 11 months old, MIL approached me saying "D wants us to throw another shower...." I made myself conveniently unavailable for a 2 month period. I strongly suggest no matter HOW you do this that you back out too and stay far away from the drama.

    I will never understand the obligation/entitlement sentiment with something that's supposed to be a gift.
    silverwings72
  • I would tell them you're out. You don't like the MTB, she won't be appreciative and the family is micromanaging everything. Save your sanity and get out. If the family is that upset about it that's their problem and sounds like you're better off without these people in your life anyway.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]Crawfish88[Deleted User]
  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    This is you DH family? And HE is saying to pass it off? Then do so. Seriously. His family, follow his lead. You aren't going to win either way, TBH. And I'd use this as an opportunity to draw a line. You were picked for a reason. Show them that they may not want to do that again....
    mommy5point0[Deleted User]
  • I would just tell them you no longer feel comfortable hosting and since they have a ton of great ideas they would make the perfect hostess.  I wouldn't just be the figure head as your DH suggests because you could be left holding a huge bill for a shower you had no part in planning. 
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    [Deleted User]silverwings72
  • Please keep us updated on the response(s).

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  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    ROck on!! I can't wait to hear what they have to say -- if anything!
  • I won't lie.... Dying for an update! Who's with me?
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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