35 weeks pregnant & depressed

courtrenee86

I am 35 weeks pregnant with my 2nd son. I moved 5 hours away from my family when I got pregnant with my first child to be with his father. We are now happily married. But something is just not right this time. I feel horrible saying it but I am not looking forward to having 2 children. I was so excited when I found out we were pregnant again. Now I am wondering if we should have thought it through more. I am so depressed. On bedrest and at home 24/7. I miss my family. I cry all the time and have no energy to do anything. I also am scared for my first born. I am worried his world is going to be shattered. I want to make sure I still give him adequate mommy time but also give time to the newborn. I don't know what to do Am I the only one who feels this way?

caballablanca

it sounds like you need to talk to your OB and let him/her know.  All the hormones you have being pregnant can make you have ppd symptoms before you even have baby.  They can give you something to help!

courtrenee86

I loved being pregnant the first time. And this time I hate it. I don't ever feel like dressing up or wearing make up. I wear oversized clothes and only go out when I absolutely have to. I do not feel attractive at all and I'm extremely worried I won't get back to my prepregnancy size which scares the crap out of me. I just don't want my doctor to think I'm selfish or crazy

caballablanca

They won't.  I think most every pregnant lady feels that way at some point.  I know when I first found out this time around, I had a lot of those feelings since I was trying to get rid of baby weight #1and now I was pregnant again.  If wearing some makeup or a cute dress isn't helping you snap out of the funk, talk to your ob.  They've heard it all!

courtrenee86

I go back for my 36 week ob appt this week so I guess I'll see what they have to say. I feel horrible about feeling this way. And of course my husband has no idea of how to help me lol all he says is everything will be ok

Amandaadavis

I went thru the same thing with my second. I felt like a terrible mother bc I was takin time away from my first son. Then my lil girl came and I made sure to include my son in everything. It was perfect. You will love this baby just as much. You will have a special place in your heart just for him. Both will always have there own special place in ur heart. Bed rest doesn't help this I'm sure. Best wishes!!

sundai

Aww courtrenee86 it's okay! It's normal for you to experience a lot of emotions we are freaking creating a human being! Lol. I'm about to have my second child and I would say my emotions are much different this time around. I was kind all over the place in my first preg..but more stable now. So kinda the reverse of yours. Not sure if your a believer but a great mommy devotional is helpful and if not that just a book that is encouraging about motherhood and everything that comes along w it. It's funny when I hear ppl say that the first child doesn't get ur attention as much when the 2nd one comes..but we forget that the 2nd child comes in already having to share their attention, so really it's the first that gets the better deal lol. I will keep you in my prayers and I have a feeling you will do great with both. Have more confidence in yourself!

courtrenee86

I think I am just so overwhelmed. I am not close with my inlaws and they are zero help. You'd think grandparents would like to spend time with their grandchildren. Not my husbands parents. I think it bothers me that my family would give anything to be able to see us all the time, yet I'm 5 hours away stuck near people who are so ungrateful. I believe once Cooper (baby #2) gets here and I can get back into a normal routine and am able to make a trip home I will be ok. It's all the stress building up to delivery that's hitting me. Thank you all so much for your comments!

courtrenee86

Sundai, do you know where I can find mommy devotionals? Life way maybe?

bluebird1109

I am a FTM but I noticed you mentioned you are on bed rest. I was on bed rest for almost 12 weeks and it was very difficult. I felt depressed for a little while, I would cry and get extremely upset. I was angry at my situation and felt so lonely and useless. Part of the reason you are depressed could be because you are on bed rest, it is very common actually. I would absolutely tell your OB how you are feeling and maybe reach out to other bumpies that are on bed rest to chat with them, and get some ideas on how to stay "active" in order to keep your spirits up. 

I can't address your other concerns, like how to balance two children and not neglect one or the other. I hope you are able to get some help and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

taylorjeanne84

Hi, just wanted to say that you are not alone. This is my 2nd pregnancy (DS is 3) and although I'm very happy in my marriage, I miss my family back home terribly. I don't have help from my in-laws either, yet my mother would kill to be near us. I have not enjoying being pregnant this time around at all. I think we just need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves. Once baby comes we will get on a schedule and it will become the "new normal." Sending hugs. Pregnancy hormones can be crazy!

KittyMisha

Definitely talk to your OB. Recent studies have shown that up to half of women later diagnosed with Post Partum Depression actually started having symptoms when they were still pregnant, so you definitely want to give your care provider a heads up in case it goes that way. And remember, if it is PPD, it's not your fault, it's not something that reflects poorly on you, and it's not shameful. It is a medical condition that requires treatment, just like any other medical condition.

Not sure of your due date, but the August 14 month club has a depression support group set up because so many members are living with depression or other mental health conditions. If you are due in August, you should come over and join. Just don't forget to introduce yourself first if you are new to the board. And if not, maybe other months have something similar, I haven't checked.

ghostof5letters

I'm pregnant with my second as well, and I can't get over the sense of betrayal that I'm having about my first daughter. It's been overwhelming at times, I can't imagine how much more it would be intensified by being on bed rest and 5 hours from friends and family. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. I would definitely speak to your doctor at your next appointment. 

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AmericanInOz

Hold in there! I definitely think you should mention it to your ob!!

But also, I feel for you

I'm worried about my dd too - she has been an only child for 4 years and is already being SO clingy as she is nervous about how this new baby is going to change her life.

But I guess all we can do is try to include them in every way we can, and have special one on one time when the baby is sleeping, etc.

I understand the family thing too. I live overseas from my family and it kills me that they want to be there to help me, help with dd, new baby etc but can't . My Mom is coming for a few weeks after the baby is born, but gosh I wish they lived closer for the day to day stuff.

But it is what it is and you can still create your own little family unit with or without supportive inlaws.

Good luck, be kind to yourself, I can only imagine how stressful it is being on bedrest. And know baby will be here soon and then you can fall into a new routine with your older child & the LO and everything will be ok

courtrenee86

Thank you all so much