people's opinions...

cinnamin922

I was induced 3 days before my due date because of increased BP and some protein (not pre-e levels but working their way there).  I failed to progress past 2 centimeters and then my LO started experiencing mild fetal distress during contractions and had trouble keeping her heart rate steady.  So they did an "emergency" c-section.  Turns out she was stuck on my pelvic bone and had the cord wrapped around her neck.  She never would have delivered vaginally.  I recovered very easily from it, very little pain, up and walking within 24 hours etc.  I am choosing to have a repeat with this baby.  My dr's have given me the option (including giving me the positives of VBAC and the drawbacks of a repeat) and are supportive of whatever I choose to do.  I am CONSTANTLY getting people telling me that I will regret not trying again, that a VBAC is the better option etc etc.  I know a lot of people consider it a trauma or have regrets that they ended up with a c-section and I totally understand it, however, I have none of that.  I'm actually more petrified of trying labor again and my body failing.  I just wish that people would listen when I say that I've done my research, I know the risks and rewards of both and I have made an informed decision.

emwaiting

I don't blame you.  I was induced due to leaking amniotic fluid.  I was at 3 when I was induced but after only 2 1/2 hours of labor and not even to the point of feeling any contractions my son's heart rate kept going down.  After the third time of it going down my doctor said it was best to do a c-section.  My hospitals policy is once you have had a c-section you will have it again and no VBAC.  I had to do IVF to get pregnant and am very attached to my doctor so I don't want to leave him.  I feel like if I had to have a c-section with #1 I might need to have another one and why put my baby through any unnecessary risks of trying to do a VBAC.  I will always wonder what it is like to do a vaginal birth but it doesn't make me feel any less connected to my child or that I did something wrong during delivery. 

JustGoWithIt

I had a CS w/DS#1 because he was breached. I am choosing to have another with this DS even though he is not breached, for my own personal reasons. I know my body. I know how I would/wouldn't handle certain aspects of delivery. I've discussed it with my doctor and we are both on the same page. I haven't had anyone negatively comment directly to me when I've told them I'm having a RCS, but I'm SURE there are those out there that would. I'm sorry if you've come across those people. I'm a big believer that everyone does things differently, and that is ok and if they want to waste time judging me for my decision that is fine. I won't be wasting any time worrying about what they think of me. I hope you can find a way to tell them to back off, or simply let it roll off your back. Your baby/body/delivery. Your decision!

Disneygeek77

My first c/s was an emergency and unfortunately my baby did end up passing away.  When given the choice with my second, I chose a repeat.  I did it for my emotional health.  I had so much anxiety with my second pregnancy and an impending sense of doom.  I was truly afraid of having a panic attack during a vaginal birth.  I also understood that something could go wrong with a c/s too, however, since I already been through one surgery and knew what to expect, another c/s wasn't as scary for me.    I know others might have thought I was foolish, but I know I did what was best for me at the time

surpriseaddition

Do what you are most comfortable with, and ignore everyone else! I had my first vaginally, and my next 2 CS. I don't feel any more "connected" to one child versus the other. I think people make too much of a big deal about how the baby comes out. As long as you love and nurture your baby, that's all that matters.

capulet

I don't think anyone directly questioned my decision not to do a VBAC with DS, but when I was making my decision I had a vague sense of obligation to try for a VBAC because those people exist and I have friends who are very pro-natural birth (vaginal and med-free) for themselves.  But in the end, I was the one who had to birth DS, and a vague sense of obligation wasn't enough to get me through another labor, which had been difficult with DD and had been a worse experience for me than the c-section itself.  It's a very individual decision that I believe is ultimately based more on emotion, your desire or lack thereof for a vaginal birth, and your previous experience than it is on risk, which for most VBAC candidates is roughly equal either way.  What you bring to that decision is so contingent on things that are specific to you and your situation that nobody else can tell you what you'll regret or not.  I might well have regretted trying a VBAC.  I went into labor spontaneously with DS and in retrospect I might well have been able to have a successful vaginal birth, but I don't regret my RCS for a minute.

harmonicbabe26

Like on e of previous posters my cs was due to K being breech. I had a fantastic experience and good recovery. I know that in theory recovering from a vaginal birth should be easier than a cs, and it would be nice to be more on my feet right away with an active toddler around, but even if I were to try for a VBAC I am not guaranteed that it will be successful. What if after long hours of labor, I still have to have a cs? Everyone who had that experience said that recovering from a cs preceded by labor is much harder than straight cs. What if I have serious tears? No thanks. I decided to go for what I already know from experience and not worry about anything else. So far nobody has judged me. At my first OB appointment the doc asked if I was interested in trying a VBAC and I said no and that was never brought back up again. None of my friends have questioned that either. I feel pretty confident in this decision. You don't owe it to anybody to have a VBAC. That's a totally personal decision. Go with your gut and ignore those who make rude comments.

Foutzie44

I think people will make comments no matter what you decide. I decided to try a VBAC (tried, ended in c/s) which resulted in even more comments/judgement. I don't regret my decision at all,

The best you can do is your research and be educated! Go with your gut, get support from your partner, and do what is best for you. You are not wrong either way! You will never regret a healthy mom and baby!

ashaw512

I had an emergency CS and I can't do VBAC bc my hospital won't do it for past lawsuits and complications. I think it's a personal desicion for you to make, no one has the right to judge you for your choice, but it is going to happen no matter what you decide to do. you don't owe anyone a VBAC. You just want a healthy baby and a healthy you so you can take care of your baby so you know what's best.

DawnJM25

I don't regret my C-sections one bit.  Pregnancies are different, people are different.  Don't worry about what people think.   People can be very judgmental when it comes to pregnancy and parenting.  Make the choice that is best for you. 

fiscally3

I went through the same thing with my second, its incredibly annoying.  It was frustrating when I would tell people that my husband, me, and my doctor's discussed it and we all felt that a RCS was the best option.  Then people would ask me why, why do you need to know my personal medical history?  I'm on my third pregnancy and I'm not even sure that I'll mention the RCS2, because I'm sure someone will try to convince me that a VBAC is the best option.

krazyinsane

I sort of regret my first section because I was induced early "because I couldn't stand the back labor anymore" (my words :-S ) but I progressed and was pushing but DD#1 was Sunnyside up and her nose was caught on my pubic bone...the pushing was actually shoving her into my hip instead of through the birth canal. So there isn't much that could have been changed.

On the date of DD#2's c-section I woke up with contractions and had the same familiar pain in my hip @-) so I felt we had made the right decision.

With DD#3 I tried to find a doctor or midwife that would let me have a TOL and VBA2C bit couldn't... Luckily! DD#3 had her cord around her neck and was also lined up to go out my left hip... Same as her sisters.

Now I've come to terms with the fact this is how it is safe for me to have my babies... "Normal" or not it gets us all home. I'm extremely lucky to have easy recoveries and will never judge another woman for choosing her own birth. I'm even planning to become a doula/midwife once my own kiddos are older to help others get the birth they want.

Long story just to say you, YH, and your doctor are the ones who know you, your situation and your personal desires best. Ignore idiots who think they're smarter than the three of you!

jenn330

I have a coworker who tells me multiple times that women who have c sections should HAVE to try a vaginal birth before a repeat section. I had no words. I am not pregnant at the moment, but I plan an RCS for any subsequent children. It's an informed decision that me, DH, and my doctor have come to.

There will always be people out there to disagree with you and tell you how your decision is "wrong," and it sucks.

[Deleted User]

My neighbor (who I barely knew) made a point of randomly telling me "Don't worry, you can always do VBAC."

I looked at her with my bitch face and firmly said "Nope."

DS's birth was way off topic and I had never even discussed it with her previously because she was a total stranger.  So yeah, back the fuck out of my lady bits.

ashaw512

@toamberroy‌ I would simply tell your mil to stfu and leave it at that.
I'm sorry you have one of "those" MILs

jcrising

JustGoWithIt said:

I had a CS w/DS#1 because he was breached. I am choosing to have another with this DS even though he is not breached, for my own personal reasons. I know my body. I know how I would/wouldn't handle certain aspects of delivery. I've discussed it with my doctor and we are both on the same page. I haven't had anyone negatively comment directly to me when I've told them I'm having a RCS, but I'm SURE there are those out there that would. I'm sorry if you've come across those people. I'm a big believer that everyone does things differently, and that is ok and if they want to waste time judging me for my decision that is fine. I won't be wasting any time worrying about what they think of me. I hope you can find a way to tell them to back off, or simply let it roll off your back. Your baby/body/delivery. Your decision!

This exactly. I am choosing to do a repeat CS (the first was similar to your story -- induced but no progression after 30 hours (!) so baby and me were both starting to fatigue to the point where my OB was afraid it would cause complications, so an "emergency" CS occurred and DD was perfect).  I have no shame or qualms about doing RCS instead of VBAC, because it is my body, my child, my family, and I know it is better for me for a variety of physical and emotional reasons.