2 BFP *UPDATE*

LaBellaVida

I really don't know how to feel right now. All I can keeping thinking is I'm not ready for another baby.

I have been overly tired for the last few weeks, and a little ill to my stomach. Smells are starting to get to me, but nothing crazy. I decided to buy a test and I peed on it, but nothing happened. I thought I saw a negative sign, but it was strange nothing happened. Then it dawned on me. ...I had bad aim apparently. I came home last night and was feeling a little nauseous so I decided to test on the same stick. Before I could even pull my pants up, clear as day, dark blue line showed up, positive.
I thought, well I'll test in the morning because maybe that test was wrong because I already tried to pee on it.
Here it is now, I wake up having to pee and I decide to test, again before I can even finish, positive.

I have no idea how far along I am. Last period I had was in January, but prior to that it was Aug. I think the last time we DTD was in April up until recently.... like last week.

I feel scared. I've never experienced a toddler and a baby. I feel like I've cheated Owen, and now I'm gonna have to split my time between him and a new born, and he won't even understand. I'm enjoying him so much, and I'm scared that being sick, pregnant and having a new baby will take up too much of my time, and I'll no longer be able to enjoy him like I feel I should. This will likely be my last pregnancy, and baby and I want to enjoy it, and feel over the moon about it, and I don't.

I know in time I'll be excited, and I'll love my baby, and look back on this and probably regret these feelings.

Anyway- I'm not ready to tell family.
Sorry so long. I'd gif, but I'm mobile.

**UPDATE**

I went in yesterday to get my Hcg levels done. The whole time I was sorta hoping that the test I took were wrong. The Ob nurse called me to inform me that my levels were high enough to get an ultra sound done, she said they were over 132,000. They scheduled an appt for this morning to get am ultrasound, sure enough there is a baby in there. Baby measures 8 weeks 1 day. 169 bpm, and I'm due Jan 26.
I've been able to process this a little bit, and I know I'll be fine. I can feel myself getting excited over this new squish as I'm no longer feeling devastated.

Guess I'll go intro on the January board.

Here's a picture!

Cricket81

I know you're scared and overwhelmed, but congrats!

Before we had LO I was really torn. I knew I wanted to start my family, but our life situation didn't seem right for it (living in an apartment, still paying off student loans, I couldn't stand my job). I was talking about it to my favorite aunt, and what she said has really stuck with me. "There's never going to be a perfect time to have a baby, but life will be so much more perfect when they are here. "

WasNotWas

Don't worry about Owen. The best gift you can give him is a sibling and the fact that he is on your mind means you will take extra care to give him attention. I was where you were when I got pregnant with Tyler, I thought it was what I wanted but then reality kicked in and I freaked. Trust me, your love doesn't split, it multiplies.

Hugs sweetie, don't ever feel guilty for feeling your feelings

phishgirl29

Hugs and a big congratulations!

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jennkg3

I don't come on June 13 much anymore, but accidently clicked it and meant to click jan15(old habits die hard. Anyhow my little guy will be one the 24th and we had a surprise as well so they will be 18 months apart. I'm excited as I wanted one more but in like 4 years not now. So I have good days and bad days (sometimes moments). I hear ya we will be okay!!!

BC&LM

Congrats! I know you feel overwhelmed now, but I'm sure it will all work out in the end!

ilovemarfa

Congrats and don't feel so overwhelmed. By the time you have this LO, your son will be almost 2. Mine are a little over 2 years apart and it is great now. It was overwhelming at first but now ds1 plays with him and helps me out by keeping ds2 busy while I'm making dinner and cleaning. I hope you start feeling better!

cafecreme

Awwe, congrats! Don't beat yourself up for getting pregnant. You'll still have time for your son, and for this little one. Me and DH were thinking the same thing; how could we "betray" our daughter, and have another? But in reality, you'll love both as much, and you'll still be able to give the attention both need. I would just appreciate DS a little more before the new baby gets here. We've been trying for the last month to get a bfp, so I envy you and wish I was in your shoes! lol

Also, 20-21 months is a perfect age gap. Me and my sister are 22 months apart, and we've been best friends since day 1. 

peachnectarine

It will all work out in the end! Congrats!

ColieAnn31

I know you're in shock right now but it will be ok! Hugs and congrats!

ASmallWonder

Congrats!  My son was older so I can't speak to that age gap but I think we ALL have felt the whole "how will I love and care for TWO?"  Loves grows, it doesn't lessen and Owen will never even realize there's anything other than life with a brother or sister.  He won't feel less loved because you probably will grow to love him MORE than you do now because seeing your kid with their little is seriously so amazing.  Just remember that you aren't cheating him of anything.  Do you feel the new baby is being cheated by NEVER being an only child?  Of course not  It's a first kid luxury and one they don't need to maintain - having a sibling is more than a fair trade off

sparklemotion86

Congrats!! ((Hugs))

GracieL79

Congratulations!

LaBellaVida

Thanks everyone.
This will be my 4th. I've got older kids, ages 14 and 7 (8 by the time this lo comes) then I have Owen, who will be 19 months older then this lo, if I'm already 2+ months along.
I've never taken care of a toddler and a baby. I've never had 2 in diapers. I've never been at home all day taking care of 2 that need all my attention, my older ones are out with friends or playing with each other. It's all uncharted territory in a sense. Financially I'm kinda thankful, I have everything I'll need basically, aside from a new car seat, and a bigger stroller.

I had a ugly cry this morning, and I do feel a
little better after it. I an weaning Owen from nursing now, and I was really looking forward for the next year to work on myself and get back into shape.

In time I know these will be guilty feelings, it's just a shock is all.

Thanks for all your encouraging words.

ASmallWonder

Somehow I never knew you had older kids or I had a brain fart so duh, you already know the ins and outs of the love part :-p  I think you'll rock it.  Owen isn't going to be the same in 7 months as he is now so you've got all that time to figure out a game plan.  You got this

Western Diva

My boys are 20 months apart. It's hard but it will get so much better!! Take all the help you can in the beginning and nap when Owen naps to keep up your energy. Seeing how they are starting to play together now makes my heart melt!! Congrats!!

HeartLikeMine3

Everyone has already said it all but I just wanted to say Big HUGS and congrats! It will all work out.

dmlk413

Congratulations and big hugs.  You got this.

musicalsilver

Congratulations! I know it must be a total mind trip, but I know you have more than enough love to share!

Megan32290

Congrats!

GalLaura

You always sound like such a great mom on this board. I'm sure it's shocking. I'm pretty scared to try again for all the reasons you mentioned. However, I'm a big believer everything happens for a reason. You will be an amazing mom, once again !

WasNotWas

This is me shaking you by the shoulders. You can do this woman!! You have the help of your older kids and Owen will make an awesome big brother. Being pregnant sucks but now Owen will have a partner in crimes just like your older two have!!! Seriously you can do this

Maelara

I know exactly how you feel. The thought of attention being taken away from Tali reduces me to tears still. I have gotten to the point though, that I'm super excited. I just want to say, CONGRATS!!! You can do this!! If you need to chat, I'm here

riansmommie

Hugs and congrats momma!!!!

flerlgirl

Congrats!! I know it's overwhelming but everything will be okay!

LaBellaVida

Thanks girls! Anyone else due in January?

PC0909

First off, Congrats!!

Second, I understand.  I felt exactly the same way.  This pregnancy is also high risk so I feel like it's taking away from DS even more... but I know that he will love having someone else to play with.  2 under 2 is hard, but so rewarding (from what I've read)

kh59

Congrats!  Here's hoping you continue to feel more excited and confident about things as time goes by.

valerie4977

Congratulations! I read this after your update so I'm happy you shared your picture with us.
BTW, when I take at home pregnancy tests, I pee in a Dixie cup so I don't worry about if I hit the stick I cannot see. For what it's worth.

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cafecreme

Again, congrats, eek!! Look at that lil jellybean!! 

LaBellaVida

@libberluru‌ funny you say that, I was thinking it would be cool to have this lo on the 22nd!

Happy birthday to your lo come Sunday!

LaBellaVida

@smpeachey I agree, it's "home" here, but I'm getting more and more excited about this lo, and it's kinda fun being apart of a new board, and getting to know new girls on this adventure. Plus I'm looking forward to reading all the good stuff from crazies come the next few months! lol

weddinginthecove

Congrats. Just to echo what others said, I'm sure it can be terrifying but from your update it definitely looks like you are starting to come around to the idea. We were trying with L but the minute I found out I was pregnant I had a few weeks of wondering if we were actually ready for such a huge change. I think its normal to have some of those feelings when you know your world will be turned upside down.