Is there anything I can do?

Hollylb3

So, DH forgot out anniversary yesterday. Apologized all over himself last night when I reminded him and said he'd make it up to me.

This morning, he calls and purchases a gift card to the spa that I went to last year for Mother's Day. I didn't know he was doing it, so I had to break it to him that I didn't care for the spa. Their masseuse wasn't that good, and their pedicure room was really jank and she didn't do that good of a job either. He calls to try and get a refund an hour after purchasing it, and they won't do it.

God help me and my first world problems. :P But is there anything I can do? Is that fair of them? Think it would make a difference if I call and explain I wasn't happy with the services last time? The transaction hasn't cleared yet; it's still pending and obviously he hasn't signed anything.

Hollylb3

auroraloo said:

I would never have told my H in the first place. Kind of like how you always eat mom's broccoli cheese casserole even though you hate broccoli.

I know, it's just I hate for him to spend the hard earned money, and I know he'll probably do it again next year. I wanted to cut the cycle. I broke it to him gently.

Hollylb3

Diapers&Wipes said:

Is there more than one person working there? If so, I would request someone else. Maybe the service will be better.

At least he knows for next time.

There's only one girl that does nails. I can request a different masseuse if they can see who I used last time. I'd have to ask.

magentawarped

You could try to sell it on Craigslist if you really don't want to go there, just take $10 off the cost or something.

Andrewsgal

I think the only thing you can do is try to resell it. I wouldn't expect the spa to give you the money back.

Hollylb3

magentawarped said:

You could try to sell it on Craigslist if you really don't want to go there, just take $10 off the cost or something.

I thought about that. It's just such a hassle. I will, worst case scenario though.

Andrewsgal

What do you want to do? It sounds like you already have a plan in your mind. I don't think it is fair to expect the spa to refund your money because your husband bought so etching you don't like.

Hollylb3

Andrewsgal said:

What do you want to do? It sounds like you already have a plan in your mind. I don't think it is fair to expect the spa to refund your money because your husband bought so etching you don't like.

That's why I'm asking here. Since I didn't like the services last time, if they refuse to cancel the charge, is it out of line to do a chargeback? I don't know, I don't know what instances those are generally used it.

I'm really not trying to be a spoiled brat. I just hate to spend that kind of money on something that isn't that enjoyable and takes several hours.

magentawarped

Erin KM said:

If it hasn't cleared yet, why not call the credit card company and cancel it?

I think that's really kind of douchey to the spa. They didn't to anything wrong, it was buyer's remorse on a gift card. I reserve canceling charges for extreme situations like fraud on the part of the seller or really shoddy services.

Andrewsgal

Erin KM said:

If it hasn't cleared yet, why not call the credit card company and cancel it?

Well this advice is some of the worst I have seen. Why not? Because it's wrong.

Hollylb3 said:

What do you want to do? It sounds like you already have a plan in your mind. I don't think it is fair to expect the spa to refund your money because your husband bought so etching you don't like.

That's why I'm asking here. Since I didn't like the services last time, if they refuse to cancel the charge, is it out of line to do a chargeback? I don't know, I don't know what instances those are generally used it. I'm really not trying to be a spoiled brat. I just hate to spend that kind of money on something that isn't that enjoyable and takes several hours.

This is ultra shitty. And a horrible idea. You screwed up not them. You did not effectively communicate with your husband so he bought you a GC. This is your issue not theirs. A chargeback would be a horrible and wrong thing to do.

spring_time

I have never heard of a company giving a refund on a gift card.  I think you are stuck with it. I would either try to sell it, or just deal with it.  Was your experience horrible?  As someone said, a mediocre massage and pedicure is better than none.

Andrewsgal

This post makes me wish you could use the report button for stupid advice.

zbeesma86

Can you go & request a different masseuse/person to do your nails??

Hollylb3

hls19 said:

Can you go & request a different masseuse/person to do your nails??

There's only one nail person. I wish they had reviews on their website so I could know which masseuse to ask for.

notkateanymore

Erin KM said:

If it hasn't cleared yet, why not call the credit card company and cancel it?

Why in the world would you suggest that?

LoveBeingMama

Don't most spas also sell products? If the gift card is for a dollar amount, and not specific services, get the massage from a different masseuse and spend the rest on nail polish, hair stuff, etc. all the stuff they usually try to upsell you on.

But honestly, I'd just go get the massage and pedicure and not make a big deal of it. I bet your H feels bad enough and it was still a very nice gesture. I'd kill for a bad pedicure and mediocre massage right now.

JeffandLeslie

I would probably just do the spa services because my H got it for me, and it's better than no spa, you know?  If I really couldn't handle doing it, I would either buy retail products from the spa or resell the gift card if that wasn't possible.  

I think reselling the gift card is ethical but kind of mean to your H. 

Cancelling the charges is not ethical to me - there was no fraud or mistake at play, which is what those services are meant for. 

peaceinnature

Can you give the card to someone else who'd use it? Maybe that's regifting and bad etiquette, but at least someone would get something out of it.

I'm weird about massages and don't like some one touching me if they're not doing it right so I get where you're coming from.

Hollylb3

letranger said:

This is by far the brattiest thing I have read in a while.

I think that's a bit dramatic. I go to the spa maybe once a year and I'd like to be able to thoroughly enjoy it, not receive subpar services in a less than great facility. If we're spending that kind of money, I want to get my money's worth.

Hollylb3

veggiebabylove said:

Can you give the card to someone else who'd use it? Maybe that's regifting and bad etiquette, but at least someone would get something out of it.

I'm weird about massages and don't like some one touching me if they're not doing it right so I get where you're coming from.

Nobody's birthday that I spend that kind of money on is until October, and I don't think my dad would want it for Father's Day.

JeffandLeslie

Erin KM said:

I was under the impression that the card had not been charged yet. Her H asked to cancel the transaction, which apparently had not occurred. I guess I misunderstood what Holly meant.

But that's still not ethical - that cancellation service is meant for a fraud or a mistaken charge, not a situation where someone just decided they didn't want something anymore.  

Hollylb3

@cjcouple‌, yeah, I meant to say something after MD last year, but it slipped my mind. Oops. I guess next time he says, "What can I do to make it up to you?" I'll tell him exactly what I want. :P

Andrewsgal

Erin KM said:

I was under the impression that the card had not been charged yet. Her H asked to cancel the transaction, which apparently had not occurred. I guess I misunderstood what Holly meant.

still not ethical but nice back pedaling.

notkateanymore

Just because he bought it for one thing doesn't mean you have to use it for that usually. Just get a facial or a body treatment.

Hollylb3

KateMW said:

Just because he bought it for one thing doesn't mean you have to use it for that usually. Just get a facial or a body treatment.

I thought about that. My skin is pretty sensitive, so that makes me a little nervous. I might just switch the 30 minute massage to an hour, that way they do the legs too.

notkateanymore

So...since you have an answer for every suggestion, what do you want us to say?

Andrewsgal

scatteredtrees said:

Always amusing when tons of advice and alternatives are offered upon request and there's always a reason why it won't work.

Seriously Holly. You have gotten some great suggestions and you have an answer for them all. No one, well no one with good judgement is going to tell you it's okay to screw this spa over and do a chargeback. It is baffling to me that you won't drink because you are a Christian and someone might see you but you have no problem screwing someone over. It's all for the looks huh?

minerswife17

Just re-gift it to your H for Fathers Day. Im sure he'd be more appreciative of it than you are.

sschwege

https://www.cardpool.com/sell-gift-cards

This place will buy gift cards, not for face value of course, but you can use the money you earn to go to the place you want.

raraavis28

I'd be willing to bet you're mostly just mad at your H for forgetting your anniversary.... I would be too. I'd still use the gc, though, unless your last experience was just plain awful. Like PPs said you could get products or other services.

I hope your next anniversary is better.

Hollylb3

Actually, I've already said I may do some of things suggested. I said I may change the services, or try and resell it like a couple of people said. I never said I was planning on a chargeback.

It baffles me the way some of you love to twist my words and nitpick everything I say.

Andrewsgal

Hollylb3 said:

Actually, I've already said I may do some of things suggested. I said I may change the services, or try and resell it like a couple of people said. I never said I was planning on a chargeback. It baffles me the way some of you love to twist my words and nitpick everything I say.

Is this a joke? You have seriously had a reason why everyone's suggestions would not work.
sell it-that's too much of a hassle
Give it away-I can't until October
Get a facial instead-my skin is too sensitive
And here is where you asked about a chargeback

Hollylb3 said:

What do you want to do? It sounds like you already have a plan in your mind. I don't think it is fair to expect the spa to refund your money because your husband bought so etching you don't like.

That's why I'm asking here. Since I didn't like the services last time, if they refuse to cancel the charge, is it out of line to do a chargeback? I don't know, I don't know what instances those are generally used it. I'm really not trying to be a spoiled brat. I just hate to spend that kind of money on something that isn't that enjoyable and takes several hours.

Hollylb3

I'm providing information. Yes, it would be a hassle to sell it, but as I said, if needed I would. Yep, my skin sure is sensitive. And I asked in what instance chargebacks are acceptable. Didn't say I was going to do it.

I'm done.

likeanoldtimemovie

amy052006 said:

Am I the only one who thinks it's even weird to bring this up with your husband after the gift has been bought?

I mean, wouldn't most people come home from the first shitty massage and say "Just a head's up, my masseuse sucked?" Or just not say anything at all?

Gotta be honest, even if I had told DH the first time that the place sucked, I would never bring it up again when he bought me another gift card. I would just tell him I loved him, thank him and go on with it.

jenniann87

Just go and use the gift card. Backcharging or canceling the transaction is wrong. If you want to get a facial but have sensitive skin, mention that to the esthetician. I know if my H found out I was making a huge deal out of this or even complained to him when he gave me the gc, there would be a 95% chance it would be the last time he bought a spa day for me.

MesmrEwe

I'm not one for the whole spa experience - I'm just not - and having a lousy experience at a particular location would be horrid knowing how expensive it is.  Maybe call and see if you can cash out the gift card once you have it in-hand. 

I'm going to also suggest you check what your state's law is.  Here in Minnesota companies are required, if requested by the card holder, to refund/"cash out" any remaining balance on a gift card, and gift cards purchased cannot expire or lose value for non-use after a certain amount of time. 

Otherwise, regifting might be your best option...  Or as someone else put it, sell it for $10 less than value..

Chapter79

MesmrEwe said:

I'm not one for the whole spa experience - I'm just not - and having a lousy experience at a particular location would be horrid knowing how expensive it is.  

I'm not a spa person either.

Butttttt my H kinda knows that, and wouldn't get me a GC for it.  And if I had a bad experience, he'd likely be the first I told.  But anyway.

I would suck this up and go. Your husband gifted you something he assumed you would enjoy. Go and try to do that.

ASullivan1231

I haven't posted much in the last couple of months, but I was reading this and I have a question.  Was this for your wedding anniversary?  I have a hard time believing your H forgot your wedding anniversary - or was this for an "anniversary" from dating or anything else?  If it was anything other than your wedding date anniversary, I, personally, think it's crazy to expect him to remember that.

Random thought - the whole thing has just seemed odd to me.

Hollylb3

Yes, it was our wedding anniversary. It's the first one he's forgotten in 7 years, which is why I was shocked too. He's a big anniversary rememberer, even the dating ones.

mammersoh

Even if I went out to lunch and the service sucked, I more than likely would talk/complain to my husband about it. Not in a "I can't believe you bought that for me" type of way, but a "wtf, that sucked and I will never go there again."

I personally think you're more hurt that he forgot, especially since you said it was your wedding anniversary, he normally remembers your dating ones, and he just gave you what he got you the year before. I get it. But, he had no clue you disliked the service; even if you did go through with a charge back, your credit card company would deny it for the sole reason that your husband bought you something you didn't like. (I worked at a credit card company previously, and would of gotten bitched at if I even transferred your request to the Dispute Department. Not staying that you're even going that route.)

I think your only option at this point is to save the GC for friends/family later in the year, get your toes done and something waxed, or sell it on craigslist, which is what every one has said previously. If you decide to suck it up and get a service there and hate it again, I wouldn't say anything to your husband if he forgets your anniversary next year.

bumpuser8448316

So the timeline here is about an hour?

Holly: you forgot our anniversary. Now I'm mad and pouty
Holy's H: Oh crap! Here honey, go enjoy the spa
Holly: that spa sucks. Now I'm mad and pouty

Seriously, your H couldn't with here. Suck it up buttercup and enjoy the spa