Who's right, DH or me?

C12H22O11

I'm bored at work and stewing over something that happened this morning. Humor me.

Background: DH is in charge of getting DS (4.5 yo) ready for daycare in the morning. I handle the baby.

I always leave at 5:50A to be at DCP with both kids right when they open. DH knows this, as this has been the routine for years. I was ready to go this morning and DH still hadn't brushed DS' teeth, even though they'd both been up since 5AM. I kind of lost it and yelled at DH and stomped off to brush DS' teeth myself. DH proceeds to yell at me that I need to "chill out" and "he was going to do it momentarily." I foresee that we'll give each other the silent treatment tonight.

So F14, who's right here?

Codypup

...I can't vote until I process the fact that you leave your house that early. Good lord, woman! That's early!

Chereen

I'm like you I love schedules, but it only takes a few minutes to brush teeth. It's really no big deal. Getting in a fight and yelling at DH over this is really petty.

RondackHiker

Is there a reason you yelled rather than saying it was getting late or asking if he wanted you to do it today?

I voted ss. I don't like to be late but I can't imagine yelling over this. Especially if usually you get out the door on time.

Soap1

I think this is worth being annoyed at today and getting over it by bedtime.  I'd be annoyed too.

C12H22O11

@codypup - I think my internal clock is broken.  I've always been an early riser.  Plus my employer does flex scheduling, so at work by 6:30 = leave work at 3:30 AND take a half day every Friday.  It has it's perks.

magentawarped

I voted DH just because I think the yelling was probably unnecessary. Plus you said he always does it, so I assume he's generally ready on time. Cut the man some slack...one day of being two minutes late isn't the end times.

shellbell3845

I chose the first one because I'm a stickler about leaving on time. He needs to help make this happen, and it's not like this is new for him.

But I'd try to avoid the silent treatment because there are worse things that could happen and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't a huge deal.

tenfour

This would totally happen to me and my dh. I think it depends on history - does he usually make it on time? This morning I was going crazy because I thought we were going to be late and dh had the nerve to shave before leaving. But he did shave and we totally weren't late. So what I mean is - you would be right if he was consistently late. But if not, I think we have to let them get there however they get there.

MissDemeanor

My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand time or schedules either. He rushed me to get out of bed, and get me and LO ready, so we could drop him off at work today. I did as asked. He then brushed his teeth, changed his shirt, took out garbage, lord knows what else. He'd been up for 45 minutes before he woke me up, because he was having a bath. So WTF, why nag at me?

I'm telling this little story to illustrate, perhaps badly, that I understand both sides of the story. I hate being nagged at, and I can get shit done on my own. But at the same time, why are guys so slow??

For the record, I voted  Find something worse to complain about.

C12H22O11

@golfergirl - see this is part of the problem.  Of the 8 days I've been at work now, I've had to brush DS' teeth about 50% of the time.  I haven't really said anything to DH about it till today.

And "yell" may be a bit of a strong word.  "Snapped" maybe?  Got snippy?

snowwhite1979

I vote SS because I am like you and DH is like yours. I get your frustration (and would have reacted the EXACT same way) but I have learned to try and chill a bit about this kind of thing so that he listens when I have issues with bigger things, if that makes sense. I would have done what you did but then let it go, and then I would have tried to address the time crunch at another time. It has taken me many years to be able to let these things go. It's not easy.

Also, JFC, 5 am??!! You are a gem for not going postal on him at that hour. I get rabid when someone looks at me the wrong way at that time of day.

magentawarped

C12H22O11 said:

@golfergirl - see this is part of the problem.  Of the 8 days I've been at work now, I've had to brush DS' teeth about 50% of the time.  I haven't really said anything to DH about it till today.

And "yell" may be a bit of a strong word.  "Snapped" maybe?  Got snippy?

Okay, consistent lateness changes my answer.

karich

This would annoy me, but I don't think it's something I would hold on to all day.

boogerbearoriginal

C12H22O11 said:

@golfergirl - see this is part of the problem.  Of the 8 days I've been at work now, I've had to brush DS' teeth about 50% of the time.  I haven't really said anything to DH about it till today.

And "yell" may be a bit of a strong word.  "Snapped" maybe?  Got snippy?

Well, I think the problem is it's been annoying you and you let it stew. It would annoy me too if he's running late half the time but if you've been upset about it and not saying anything he didn't know until today that it was a problem, so it feels like an overreaction to him.

I vote SS because he needs to respect that it's important to be timely and you need to speak up the first time when you're not really mad instead of snapping after letting it add up over time.

C12H22O11

I know I need to relax - I'll have some wine tonight and chill. It's just SO frustrating.

DH will do pretty much everything else for DS. I just don't know why he can't think ahead and brush DS' teeth before he gets in the shower/starts to shave/sits down for breakfast.

MamaAllison

Codypup said:

...I can't vote until I process the fact that you leave your house that early. Good lord, woman! That's early!

This!!